No meetings- am I sliding?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
No meetings- am I sliding?
I went back to work after a long break. I did an outpatient rehab. I'm sober over 4 months now. I love it. Crazy but I do. I was going to AA meetings and groups at the rehab. Now I'm just working. No meetings. Nothing. I feel fine but am afraid this is my pattern.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: South Bay, So Cal
Posts: 6,124
It seems to be here in our area of Recovery that the one thing that people who have gone out have in common.....stopped going to meetings. Becoming disconnected from the Program.
Just an observation from our family, hubby 10 years, son 7, and me 3.
Something to think about anyway.
Bobbi
Just an observation from our family, hubby 10 years, son 7, and me 3.
Something to think about anyway.
Bobbi
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Are you staying alert PressMe? After leaving (a non-AA based) rehab I also feel great and pretty steady in my sobriety. I have a plan but it does not include regular AA attendance and I feel ok with that. I am working with several mental health professionals for medication and therapy, have an alcohol free home, read recovery books and stick close to here. I am also staying on guard for the first hint of relapse, there is no way I am going back to that hell.
Do you have a solid plan in place? What are you doing instead of meetings to insure you are still making forward progress despite feeling so good? Is there anything you could add just to stay on the safe side? You sound great and really happy but we can never be too careful!
Keep up the good work!
Do you have a solid plan in place? What are you doing instead of meetings to insure you are still making forward progress despite feeling so good? Is there anything you could add just to stay on the safe side? You sound great and really happy but we can never be too careful!
Keep up the good work!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: CA.....Hometown : Sioux Falls
Posts: 2,624
I've been reading a few posts about members thinking about leaving AA. I have cut down to 1 or 2 meetings a week but I'm committed. I had 17 yrs. sobriety a long time ago. I left AA about half way and basically forgot about the steps. I drank again for 17 years. What a waste. I'm 67. I'm staying in.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
I fully admit that my relapse was due to not paying attention to my sobriety. I stopped attending meetings and working the steps. I continued to post here and eventually that stopped too.
Somehow I got the idea that after 17 months I was fine. Very shortly after I drank. I am now going to pay dearly and I would give back every drink I took if I could go back and not take that first drink. There's nothing good out there and every time you drink you roll the dice.
When you start dropping tools out of your sobriety toolkit it eventually becomes empty. Then why even wear the tool belt at all?
Sobriety is rented and rent is due daily.
Somehow I got the idea that after 17 months I was fine. Very shortly after I drank. I am now going to pay dearly and I would give back every drink I took if I could go back and not take that first drink. There's nothing good out there and every time you drink you roll the dice.
When you start dropping tools out of your sobriety toolkit it eventually becomes empty. Then why even wear the tool belt at all?
Sobriety is rented and rent is due daily.
G-Woman
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Mississauga, ON
Posts: 979
Just speaking from my own experiences - when I stopped putting recovery at the top of my priority list, I eventually fell back into a relapse. I *thought* I felt strong and that nothing could compel me to take that first drink again. But my AV was a sneaky bugger, waiting on the sidelines for me.
I can't predict if this will happen for you. But I guess a better question is - will it hurt anything if you do go back to some meetings?
I can't predict if this will happen for you. But I guess a better question is - will it hurt anything if you do go back to some meetings?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: SE USA
Posts: 599
The recovery in AA is ultimately in working the steps and using them daily more than the meetings. I know at 4 months I was at my worst as far as trying to figure out what I needed. My AV was raging and my head was still in a dense fog.
I can't say that you need meetings but I believe everyone needs some kind of continued support especially in very early sobriety. If meetings aren't it you might consider making a recovery plan ASAP. There is a post around here somewhere on how to do it.
I can't say that you need meetings but I believe everyone needs some kind of continued support especially in very early sobriety. If meetings aren't it you might consider making a recovery plan ASAP. There is a post around here somewhere on how to do it.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Some people don't go to meetings but I'd say it's still important to work on your sobriety whether that is here or online with aa or smart or having your own plan of recovery which will really help
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I think you need to do, each day, whatever it is that got you sober for 4 months. You had the structure and accountability of IOP. I believe you need to replace that with something now that you're out. AA is a good option.
If you believe you are getting lax then you probably are. Create a plan and stick to it. Set your intention each day to stay sober. I don't believe most alcoholics can take their eye off the ball at any point in recovery. Can the plan change? Sure. But the key element is to always have a play book.
If you believe you are getting lax then you probably are. Create a plan and stick to it. Set your intention each day to stay sober. I don't believe most alcoholics can take their eye off the ball at any point in recovery. Can the plan change? Sure. But the key element is to always have a play book.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
I'm not a meeting person Pressme, but I do engage in recovery-based
activities daily.
Maybe look at that closely--see what you are doing on a daily basis
and balance that with face-to-face meetings as needed.
The mistake is putting it on the back burner and ignoring self-care and accountability.
If you aren't doing that, maybe the form your recovery is taking is simply changing.
activities daily.
Maybe look at that closely--see what you are doing on a daily basis
and balance that with face-to-face meetings as needed.
The mistake is putting it on the back burner and ignoring self-care and accountability.
If you aren't doing that, maybe the form your recovery is taking is simply changing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by sg1970 
The recovery in AA is ultimately in working the steps and using them daily more than the meetings. I know at 4 months I was at my worst as far as trying to figure out what I needed. My AV was raging and my head was still in a dense fog.
I can't say that you need meetings but I believe everyone needs some kind of continued support especially in very early sobriety. If meetings aren't it you might consider making a recovery plan ASAP. There is a post around here somewhere on how to do it.
I can't say that you need meetings but I believe everyone needs some kind of continued support especially in very early sobriety. If meetings aren't it you might consider making a recovery plan ASAP. There is a post around here somewhere on how to do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Oakland
Posts: 561
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
I'm not a meeting person Pressme, but I do engage in recovery-based
activities daily.
Maybe look at that closely--see what you are doing on a daily basis
and balance that with face-to-face meetings as needed.
The mistake is putting it on the back burner and ignoring self-care and accountability.
If you aren't doing that, maybe the form your recovery is taking is simply changing.
activities daily.
Maybe look at that closely--see what you are doing on a daily basis
and balance that with face-to-face meetings as needed.
The mistake is putting it on the back burner and ignoring self-care and accountability.
If you aren't doing that, maybe the form your recovery is taking is simply changing.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
Yoga, exercise, journaling, reading and posting support to others on SR daily,
meditation, reading / listening to positive recovery material dealing with addiction, negative patterns in the past and making change, etc.
Also spending time in Nature, gardening, playing with my animals, cooking healthy food, etc.
Additionally, I did a short-term therapy round at the beginning of my sobriety
to identify core issues which I continue to work on now.
All together are a program I designed that works for me to not only stay sober,
but to recover and build a new life with new paradigms.
Everyone is different--some people do much better with meetings and face support.
I am not such a person, but I do try to get that mirroring here on SR.
You will notice I log in every day and try to connect with others.
What isn't helpful is to "ignore" your recovery and take it for granted.
I think you have come a long long way and it's good you are paying attention to this.
In the past, your pattern has been to drop off SR, decide your problems isn't so bad, and drink again,
which you aren't doing this time--that's real progress.
meditation, reading / listening to positive recovery material dealing with addiction, negative patterns in the past and making change, etc.
Also spending time in Nature, gardening, playing with my animals, cooking healthy food, etc.
Additionally, I did a short-term therapy round at the beginning of my sobriety
to identify core issues which I continue to work on now.
All together are a program I designed that works for me to not only stay sober,
but to recover and build a new life with new paradigms.
Everyone is different--some people do much better with meetings and face support.
I am not such a person, but I do try to get that mirroring here on SR.
You will notice I log in every day and try to connect with others.
What isn't helpful is to "ignore" your recovery and take it for granted.
I think you have come a long long way and it's good you are paying attention to this.
In the past, your pattern has been to drop off SR, decide your problems isn't so bad, and drink again,
which you aren't doing this time--that's real progress.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Lots of great advice here. I echo what I've heard in meetings that those who have maintained long-term sobriety have kept it their number 1 priority. Whether that means going to meetings and staying active in AA with a sponsor is one way, and Soberwolf posted a good link for other ways to create a plan.
Glad you posted here. Reaching out is the first defense against drinking.
Glad you posted here. Reaching out is the first defense against drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
meetings were really important to me early on....
after about 6 months though, I was feeling like meetings were another obligation and another stressor and I wasn't feeling called to need them as much anymore.
I'm still grateful for AA. I still haven't completed Step 4 officially - though I have worked bits and pieces of all the steps along the way, in my own way. Many AA purists will warn against that attitude - but it has served me.
I still go to meetings from time to time. I still feel AA is a great tool in my overall sobriety toolkit. When I'm feeling low, missing the face to face interaction with fellows in recovery or just wake up one morning feeling like going to a meeting; I do.
I don't think it's necessarily, automatically a bad thing if your attendance at meetings drops off after a bit. But I think it's important that it's not a part of a broader 'turning away from recovery'.
Though I don't go to meetings regularly, I think about recovery daily. I come to SR and read or post. I make sure I'm tending to my health with exercise and nutrition as best I can. I try to ensure I'm making time for self-nurturing and down time. When I'm feeling down, I try to understand what's going on for me. I get to my counselor and talk. I ask my wife for help. I go for a run. I get out and take a walk. I go sauna. I spend time with my kids. I try to tend to a few tasks or chores that need doing. In short: I'm careful to ensure that I'm living life and not gradually returning to a state of depression or vulnerability that will lead me back to drinking.
Sometimes, I hit a point where I go to a few meetings in a week. Sometimes, I pick up the phone and call a friend in recovery. Sometimes, I read the Big Book or spend a little extra time on this forum reading others' stories and reminding myself why I've chosen sobriety and the things it has brought me. I reflect honestly on my past. I share things here - as much to help others as to remind myself of the misery and despair I have left behind by embracing sobriety and freeing myself from the wheel of anguish and shame that drinking became for me.
after about 6 months though, I was feeling like meetings were another obligation and another stressor and I wasn't feeling called to need them as much anymore.
I'm still grateful for AA. I still haven't completed Step 4 officially - though I have worked bits and pieces of all the steps along the way, in my own way. Many AA purists will warn against that attitude - but it has served me.
I still go to meetings from time to time. I still feel AA is a great tool in my overall sobriety toolkit. When I'm feeling low, missing the face to face interaction with fellows in recovery or just wake up one morning feeling like going to a meeting; I do.
I don't think it's necessarily, automatically a bad thing if your attendance at meetings drops off after a bit. But I think it's important that it's not a part of a broader 'turning away from recovery'.
Though I don't go to meetings regularly, I think about recovery daily. I come to SR and read or post. I make sure I'm tending to my health with exercise and nutrition as best I can. I try to ensure I'm making time for self-nurturing and down time. When I'm feeling down, I try to understand what's going on for me. I get to my counselor and talk. I ask my wife for help. I go for a run. I get out and take a walk. I go sauna. I spend time with my kids. I try to tend to a few tasks or chores that need doing. In short: I'm careful to ensure that I'm living life and not gradually returning to a state of depression or vulnerability that will lead me back to drinking.
Sometimes, I hit a point where I go to a few meetings in a week. Sometimes, I pick up the phone and call a friend in recovery. Sometimes, I read the Big Book or spend a little extra time on this forum reading others' stories and reminding myself why I've chosen sobriety and the things it has brought me. I reflect honestly on my past. I share things here - as much to help others as to remind myself of the misery and despair I have left behind by embracing sobriety and freeing myself from the wheel of anguish and shame that drinking became for me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
I stopped meetings after 5 months and was working FT. I'm not "working a program" in traditional sesnse, but I'm living a life that keeps me Sober and demands Sobriety. It's Life; health, fitness, family and work. I'm over 2 years Sober.
If meetings don't fit your routine at present but you still enjoy them, you'll find a way to fit them in. But you shouldn't feel like you're"slipping" if you can't get to meetings. If you feel like you "should be going to mtgs" vs "want to go to mtgs", I'd question whether they should be in your recovery arsenal at all.
~Bunnez,
If meetings don't fit your routine at present but you still enjoy them, you'll find a way to fit them in. But you shouldn't feel like you're"slipping" if you can't get to meetings. If you feel like you "should be going to mtgs" vs "want to go to mtgs", I'd question whether they should be in your recovery arsenal at all.
~Bunnez,
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