Hey, I'm a newcomer!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Chennai, Tamil Nadu
Posts: 1
Hey, I'm a newcomer!
Hey everyone!
My name is Dheeraj Gnanaraj. I'm from this place called Chennai, India. I'm 19 years old, and I find myself registering here for my more-than-just-a-friend. She's been into weed for about 3 years and we became friends a year back. She doesnt WANT to quit, but i felt it my responsibility to make her realise it before it is too late.
She and i met after we started university. Its in a city far from either of our states. While she was in university, she decided to quit and she made it without weed for about 5 months. Four days back, classes ended and she went home for summer vacations and she immediately started smoking up.
Her reasoning goes like this: I havent smoked up for the past five months. So, ill just smoke up when im home. If i could stay without it for so long, I am sure I can control smoking up and stopping whenever I want to.
The worst part is, I can see it affecting our relationship. She doesn't bother whatever she does as long as it means she can do weed.
I have tried a lot and I dont know what I should do to make her realise it soon. So, I guess that's why Im here. I want to be doing something for her.
My name is Dheeraj Gnanaraj. I'm from this place called Chennai, India. I'm 19 years old, and I find myself registering here for my more-than-just-a-friend. She's been into weed for about 3 years and we became friends a year back. She doesnt WANT to quit, but i felt it my responsibility to make her realise it before it is too late.
She and i met after we started university. Its in a city far from either of our states. While she was in university, she decided to quit and she made it without weed for about 5 months. Four days back, classes ended and she went home for summer vacations and she immediately started smoking up.
Her reasoning goes like this: I havent smoked up for the past five months. So, ill just smoke up when im home. If i could stay without it for so long, I am sure I can control smoking up and stopping whenever I want to.
The worst part is, I can see it affecting our relationship. She doesn't bother whatever she does as long as it means she can do weed.
I have tried a lot and I dont know what I should do to make her realise it soon. So, I guess that's why Im here. I want to be doing something for her.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Hello Dheeraj
There are a few issues here. The biggest is that she doesn't want to quit. Although you might feel it's your responsibility to make her realise it, she may not agree with you. If you push it too hard, she may feel that you are pressuring her.
You say it is affecting your relationship because of the importance she is placing on smoking weed. You're both very young. Is this issue a deal breaker for you? It could be this is not the right person for you if it is, and rather than try and change someone before you get more serious, you may ask yourself if you really want to invest in a future with someone who seems to have somewhat different values to you.
There's a Friends and Family forum elsewhere on this site that you might find useful too as there may be others going through a similar situation there.
I wish you all the best.
There are a few issues here. The biggest is that she doesn't want to quit. Although you might feel it's your responsibility to make her realise it, she may not agree with you. If you push it too hard, she may feel that you are pressuring her.
You say it is affecting your relationship because of the importance she is placing on smoking weed. You're both very young. Is this issue a deal breaker for you? It could be this is not the right person for you if it is, and rather than try and change someone before you get more serious, you may ask yourself if you really want to invest in a future with someone who seems to have somewhat different values to you.
There's a Friends and Family forum elsewhere on this site that you might find useful too as there may be others going through a similar situation there.
I wish you all the best.
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