I need help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: New york
Posts: 3
I need help.
Although i am 17 currently and it is illegal for me to be drinking, I have found that ever since my grandma has passed away in august 2015, I found that alcohol is a way to help with stress and stuff. I have never drove under the influence as i still have my learners permit ( i should have my license already) and i will never drive under the influence, but when I am stressed at work I steal a couple beers. For example, the other day I drank 3 beers before my shift, and at the end since it was stressful ( probably because i drank before) i took 4 beers and drank those on the walk home. I live within walking distance from my job. I have downed a 1.5 liter bottle of Evan Williams bourbon in 3 ish weeks, and i just feel i need it to relieve stress. I don't want to continue drinking as i want to stay in shape, as alcohol and especially beer with the carbohydrates packs on the fat. My parents thought i drink, i came clean, i said i stopped but in reality i didn't. And if i tell them im drinking again ill be in tons of trouble. I don't know my families genetics as i was adopted from Russia. is there any way i can get help without getting in trouble?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Hi Ariman - welcome 
I'm glad to see you looking at this now rather than 20 or 30 years on...
If you're a young guy working I can;t see what would stop you from posting here or going to AA or even doing outpatient rehab if you wanted to do that.
I have to say tho I do believe honesty is the best policy. It can take a lot of effort to keep a lie covered up and I reckon that effort would be better used on your recovery.
Why not come clean to your folks and face the music?
D
I'm glad to see you looking at this now rather than 20 or 30 years on...
If you're a young guy working I can;t see what would stop you from posting here or going to AA or even doing outpatient rehab if you wanted to do that.
I have to say tho I do believe honesty is the best policy. It can take a lot of effort to keep a lie covered up and I reckon that effort would be better used on your recovery.
Why not come clean to your folks and face the music?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: New york
Posts: 3
Because if I do, they will cut off my financial support for my gap year, my college (Drexel University is very expensive) and then I would be screwed. Is it bad that when i go to work i get excited that there is beer that i can take there?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
I'd see that as a red flag yeah.
If you want to keep things on the downlow that's your choice. Other people have done it without telling anyone.
It still should be possible for you to get sober and stay that way
Any ideas on how you might actually stay sober?
D
If you want to keep things on the downlow that's your choice. Other people have done it without telling anyone.
It still should be possible for you to get sober and stay that way
Any ideas on how you might actually stay sober?
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hey Airman, good for you for singing up here and asking these questions. I am really sorry for the loss of your grandma, I lost mine several years ago and still think of her, it is really sad and I miss her a lot. I know mine would be proud of me for being healthy though, don't you think yours would too? I know it is tough, but there are other ways to deal with the stress and sadness.
Do you have a good relationship with your parents? If you do I am sure that they love you and only want what is best for you. I remember being in high school and being so scared of telling my mom stuff, but when I did I was really surprised to find that she was there to help me. I bet if you tell them the truth and ask for help they would be there for you and once you overcome this they would still help you out on your gap year and college. It is definitely better to deal with this now rather than later though. Can you imagine how mad they would be if you hid this from them, went to college and really got into a ton of trouble?? That would be way worse I think.
Alcohol definitely does pack on the fat, it also interferes with your studies, your memory, all kinds of stuff. It also really hurts your liver. I didn't know that when I started drinking. I just thought you got hangovers and felt tired or got a headache and stuff. It actually damages your body in a lot of ways. When you drink your liver has to process it kind of like a filter and it is much heavier than food or other good stuff, so it slows down your body process. Sorry if you know all this but I definitely didn't, I just thought I could drink and once I got over the hangover it was fine. I didn't realise I was actually doing a lot of damage to my body.
Best of luck to you, I hope you get a hold of this now before it becomes a bigger problem. Feel free to reach out for help here any time.
Do you have a good relationship with your parents? If you do I am sure that they love you and only want what is best for you. I remember being in high school and being so scared of telling my mom stuff, but when I did I was really surprised to find that she was there to help me. I bet if you tell them the truth and ask for help they would be there for you and once you overcome this they would still help you out on your gap year and college. It is definitely better to deal with this now rather than later though. Can you imagine how mad they would be if you hid this from them, went to college and really got into a ton of trouble?? That would be way worse I think.
Alcohol definitely does pack on the fat, it also interferes with your studies, your memory, all kinds of stuff. It also really hurts your liver. I didn't know that when I started drinking. I just thought you got hangovers and felt tired or got a headache and stuff. It actually damages your body in a lot of ways. When you drink your liver has to process it kind of like a filter and it is much heavier than food or other good stuff, so it slows down your body process. Sorry if you know all this but I definitely didn't, I just thought I could drink and once I got over the hangover it was fine. I didn't realise I was actually doing a lot of damage to my body.
Best of luck to you, I hope you get a hold of this now before it becomes a bigger problem. Feel free to reach out for help here any time.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 94
Hi Ari.
Here's something to think about: you are stealing beer at your place of employment-how long will it be until someone figures out that it's you? You could lose your job. Hard to hide that from the parents. You're young, you got into a prestigious college, you have everything going for you. Nip this problem in the bud and walk away now as fast as you can.
Here's something to think about: you are stealing beer at your place of employment-how long will it be until someone figures out that it's you? You could lose your job. Hard to hide that from the parents. You're young, you got into a prestigious college, you have everything going for you. Nip this problem in the bud and walk away now as fast as you can.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 242
Hi there - I have a son your age and can relate to the stress of everything.
With that said, the stress of things will be WAY WORSE with drinking.. trust me.
I suggest you talk to school counselor ..They are there to help.
Also... please stop stealing beers from your work. You will get caught!
On a positive note... I have lost both my parents (as well as grandparents). You need to focus on the good things... remember them and enjoy the thought that they are with you all the time.
Pick yourself up!
With that said, the stress of things will be WAY WORSE with drinking.. trust me.
I suggest you talk to school counselor ..They are there to help.
Also... please stop stealing beers from your work. You will get caught!
On a positive note... I have lost both my parents (as well as grandparents). You need to focus on the good things... remember them and enjoy the thought that they are with you all the time.
Pick yourself up!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Welcome to SR.
There is tons of help and support here, so stick around. You can also go to AA meetings anonymously.
I thought alcohol helped me to deal with stress, but in the long run, it really didn't. The feelings of sadness about losing your grandmother are OK to feel. They might suck to go through, but they are just feelings: they won't kill you or anything. It is normal and natural to feel sad after losing somebody. Let yourself have those feelings without trying to run from them and drown them in the bottle. It's better to process things sober and you'll heal faster by just going through the feelings rather than trying to avoid them.
The way you describe your relation to alcohol is a huge red flag, but on some level I'm sure you know that since you are posting here. Get help NOW. It doesn't get easier or better.
I remember when I had never driven drunk and swore I never would... and then I did. All of those things that you think other problem drinkers do that you don't will slowly become things that you do too and think nothing of if you don't do something about quitting.
Lots to learn here, so read around and post as much as you need.
Try to just take things one day at a time. Make a commitment to just not drink today.
There is tons of help and support here, so stick around. You can also go to AA meetings anonymously.
I thought alcohol helped me to deal with stress, but in the long run, it really didn't. The feelings of sadness about losing your grandmother are OK to feel. They might suck to go through, but they are just feelings: they won't kill you or anything. It is normal and natural to feel sad after losing somebody. Let yourself have those feelings without trying to run from them and drown them in the bottle. It's better to process things sober and you'll heal faster by just going through the feelings rather than trying to avoid them.
The way you describe your relation to alcohol is a huge red flag, but on some level I'm sure you know that since you are posting here. Get help NOW. It doesn't get easier or better.
I remember when I had never driven drunk and swore I never would... and then I did. All of those things that you think other problem drinkers do that you don't will slowly become things that you do too and think nothing of if you don't do something about quitting.
Lots to learn here, so read around and post as much as you need.
Try to just take things one day at a time. Make a commitment to just not drink today.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 10
Hi there I'm new as well, and I understand why you would turn to alcohol after a death. My brother died when I was 16 and I turned to other drugs, but ended up drinking excessively within the last year. It's much better for you overall health if you give it up now, especially since our bodies don't finish maturing until into our 20s. You want to keep your intelligence and keep your healthy brain chemicals going when you're at college! I didn't think it had any influence on my grades, but boy I was wrong this last semester. It's so much easier to make morning classes when you're not nursing a headache, throwing up, and lacking every bit of motivation possible.
You sound very smart, especially coming here before it turns into a more serious problem. Swiping a few beers from work may not have many consequences right now, but just think if they found out that you had been drinking before work and then stole beers after work... Would you hire an employee who did that? It could be a cause for dismissal, and you don't want to spiral down that hole!
So I was thinking a little bit about how you might be able to avoid this behavior going into college... What's driving you to drink? Is it related to your grandmother or work? I found that once I hit college and especially 21, things really started to go downhill. I think if you decide to cut back or quit drinking, many people here may be able to offer you coping skills and techniques to use when presented with copious amounts of alcohol in college.
I wish you best and I'm also proud how early you noticed this pattern before it escalates
I'm new as well, and I understand why you would turn to alcohol after a death. My brother died when I was 16 and I turned to other drugs, but ended up drinking excessively within the last year. It's much better for you overall health if you give it up now, especially since our bodies don't finish maturing until into our 20s. You want to keep your intelligence and keep your healthy brain chemicals going when you're at college! I didn't think it had any influence on my grades, but boy I was wrong this last semester. It's so much easier to make morning classes when you're not nursing a headache, throwing up, and lacking every bit of motivation possible.You sound very smart, especially coming here before it turns into a more serious problem. Swiping a few beers from work may not have many consequences right now, but just think if they found out that you had been drinking before work and then stole beers after work... Would you hire an employee who did that? It could be a cause for dismissal, and you don't want to spiral down that hole!
So I was thinking a little bit about how you might be able to avoid this behavior going into college... What's driving you to drink? Is it related to your grandmother or work? I found that once I hit college and especially 21, things really started to go downhill. I think if you decide to cut back or quit drinking, many people here may be able to offer you coping skills and techniques to use when presented with copious amounts of alcohol in college.
I wish you best and I'm also proud how early you noticed this pattern before it escalates
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: New york
Posts: 3
Thank you guys so much for the help. I have a solution. if i am doing restock, (in the downstairs fridge is where the beers are), and if someone is not busy, i ask them " hey can you help me grab some stuff. And if they ask "why not bring a cart" i say, why bring a cart down when i just need you to grab one or two things, and the chefs can use the cart, So therefore i dont even need to go in there!
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