ICanDoBetter

About two weeks into this journey my husband asked me to stop for beer for him and I said no... Slippery slope. Told him maybe eventually but I couldn't go there at that point. And that was that.

Til today. I ran errands tonight and he asked me to pick some up for the weekend. I quasi begrudgingly said "I guess". It gave me a little anxiety, but is something else I feel I need to tackle. Channeling my mother, I recall her buying my dad cigarettes for years after she quit. If she could do that I can handle this on a now and then occurrence.

So it felt really weird pulling into that store after not being there for twelve weeks. And I really hoped I didn't get a "hey, where've you been?" I felt embarrassed being there oddly enough. Like I was doing something wrong. .. As opposed to hoping they didn't wonder why I was always there so often.

Ironically, a week or two before I quit drinking, he grocery store I go to started selling beer and has a wine section, but I've never purchased there and walking past the areas (next to the produce which makes sense?!) don't really phase me. I just keep on moving.

Helga (AV) did attempt to make her presence known but I ignored her... And after I got home I quickly forgot I'd even been to the store. And for those unaware, there has been alcohol in our house since I quit as I did not want to impose my sobriety on my husband who is perfectly capable of moderating.

I'm proud of me :-)

Lightning Bug

I'm proud of you.

ICanDoBetter

thanks ☺️

How are you doing today?

Dee74

I'm glad it was no trouble.

Generally tho, at least early in recovery, I gently suggest spouses who want to drink get off their butt and buy their own

D

Lightning Bug

I'm good

ICanDoBetter

I know. And that's why my reaction early on. And I thought maybe I should tell him hat. But on the whole he busts his tail at work and as a husband and dad and splits a lot of our parenting duties and such. Kind of felt like a heel saying no when I was driving past there anyhow.

Besides, if I let Helga win I can't put a stone in the jar tomorrow. Take that, Helga!

dwtbd

Keep fillin the jar! Helga's a bitch and the growing weight of all the stones is crushing her , and deservedly so, you win! And rock!

AdelineRose

Great job! But... why doesn't your husband go get his own alcohol. You had told him you weren't ready and then he just asks you again as if that convo has never happened. Maybe you should have a talk with him? Yes this time it went smoothly, but what if one day it doesn't?

ICanDoBetter

fair point. This is the first he has asked since that one other occurrence. I will talk to him about it and I don't intend to make this a regular occurrence. He asked because I was running errands anyhow and he was taking care of some other things around the house. I could have said no and it would have been all good with him.

dwtbd

Obviously no one should have to do anything they are not comfortable doing.
My wife is a wine drinker and I will occasionally be the store goerer, I don't drink anymore so it's just a thing to buy, best news is I don't have stop and think if it's "ok" to buy in that store that day.

IvanMike

I'll be blunt.

I wouldn't buy it and I wouldn't have it in the house.

In those situations the only difference between me and a toddler playing in a busy intersection at night is that the toddler is safer.

Soberwolf

Keep kicking Helga's butt x

ICanDoBetter

I do recognize that me 'allowing' it in the house is a risk, but it is one I am willing to take. As I said, it has been here since day 1.