Sinderos

I'm usually a very nice and sweet person, but when drinking sometimes the dumbest thing will make me angry. That happened Saturday. I have apologized 100 times and my friend is barely talking to me. I don't blame him at all. I was a horrible person.

We all know the drill, I also sent drunken messages to 2 friends. They probably think I'm totally nuts. I'm too scared to read to see what all I actually wrote.

Basically I feel like a total loser, even though I know I'm not. I have had many regrets while drinking, but this time it's different. I actually really failed tremendously as a friend when he needed someone desperately. I don't really want to go into it.

I'm going to use this as a live and learn experience. I never want to hurt someone I care about again. Not because alcohol has clouded my mind and made me act stupid.

I'm on day 2 sober. Withdrawals have been mild, but very annoying. Constant sick to my stomach feeling, anxious and very tired. Of course I didn't sleep worth a flip last night and had mild sweats.

I'm feeling really down tonight, but just try to look forward to more and more sober days so these feelings will lessen and eventually go away for the most part.

Dee74

Hi Sinderos

the only real cure for that is time and not doing drunken things again, I think.

The more good things I did in recovery the more I remember that I am a good guy and I'm much more than my drunken actions would suggest.

I consider I have a personal responsibility not to drink alcohol, much less let myself get drunk again, and thats worked for me for nearly a decade now

D

Fly N Buy

Shame, guilt and remorse weighed me down for a very long time.

Sobriety gives me an opportunity to make amends to some. Most importantly, I found by staying sober I can start to forgive myself, change and contribute something positive to those with whom I interact in this world.

Very refreshing.

Anna

Shame/guilt is such a big part of alcoholism, and we've all done things we wish we could erase. But, it doesn't work that way. The best thing you can do is to keep working on your recovery. I don't know what will happen with your friends, but staying sober is the way to go.

txwildflower

I totally understand this feeling. It has happened several times over the years. Let's make it the last time we do this! Hope you're with me! We can do this! :-D

least

If you stay sober, you never have to feel like this again.

lovetolisten

I feel for you, Sinderos. I have been on and off that rollercoaster for 15 years. I once factory reset my phone because I couldn't bear to see what I had texted, who I had called. I know what you mean about generally being a nice and sweet person, but alcohol is a game changer. I never agreed with the adage that alcohol let's the truth come out. Heavy alcohol consumption makes me a delusional liar. I am the most gorgeous, important, and rich person when I am drunk.

In reality, I am a pretty average looking, of average importance, and average financial standing girl from the Midwest lololol

gobletoffire19

I can relate to you. When I drank I would blackout and gossip incessantly. I of course never remembered what I said and to whom I said it to. This got me into a lot of trouble and caused a lot of anxiety in my life. I caused two people to lose their jobs and created quite an unflattering reputation for myself.

Staying sober is the greatest apology we can make. We cannot go back in time and we cannot make people forgive us. But we CAN change the way we present ourselves to others and stay sober to ensure we never become the nasty drunks we used to be.

SoberLife90

I suggest going to AA and working the steps. That will help you stay sober and also help you clean up the wreckage of the past.

Delilah1

I think the majority of us on SR have said/written/done things we regret while drinking. Sometimes time is what we need for others to be ready to forgive us.

Good job on two days, keep it going!!

Sinderos

Thank you all for the words of wisdom and encouragement. They do make me feel a bit better.

Time to start day 3.

mns1

Well done on day 3 Sinderos

Mountainmanbob

For drunks such as us that would be the main thing to do
stay sober today.

I also made a fool of myself while drinking (many, many times).
Amazing, it doesn't happen that often while sober.

Keeping the wreckage of our past to a low point.

MB

Soberwolf

Well done on day 3 Sinderos stick with us keep reaching out xxx

Dharma33

Glad to see you on Day 3!! Stay close - you can do this!

gleefan

Welcome Sinderos!

Guilt and embarrassment made me decide to get sober. What's kept me sober is the healing I've experienced during my recovery journey. Congrats on starting yours.