Alcohol's self preservation tactics
Alcohol's self preservation tactics
I find that alcohol, and addiction overall, has many self preservation techniques. It's really tricky in how it gets us to use.
ANXIETY: We drink to feel calm. Yet the more we drink, the more anxiety we feel later.
DEPRESSION: we drink to escape it, yet the more we drink, the more depressed we become.
REGRET: same as depression, but a bit more specific. Creating regret is a way alcohol increases depression.
ENERGY: We drink so we can get moving or get some tasks done. Only to crash when we stop.
SLEEP: we drank to help us sleep better, yet it's only minor WD's that have started since our last drink that is making us anxious.
CONFIDENCE: We drink to feel more confident about who we are. Mostly because we have low self esteem due to the things we've done.
Very tricky.
What are some other ways you find alcohol uses as a self preservation mechanism?
ANXIETY: We drink to feel calm. Yet the more we drink, the more anxiety we feel later.
DEPRESSION: we drink to escape it, yet the more we drink, the more depressed we become.
REGRET: same as depression, but a bit more specific. Creating regret is a way alcohol increases depression.
ENERGY: We drink so we can get moving or get some tasks done. Only to crash when we stop.
SLEEP: we drank to help us sleep better, yet it's only minor WD's that have started since our last drink that is making us anxious.
CONFIDENCE: We drink to feel more confident about who we are. Mostly because we have low self esteem due to the things we've done.
Very tricky.
What are some other ways you find alcohol uses as a self preservation mechanism?
The ol' liquid courage cliché applied to me quite well. When I was good & drunk, I could approach anybody and talk to him/her about anything...or so I thought. Tied into the courage thing was the arrogance thing as well.
My arrogance was grossly magnified so that I could not often see what a buffoon I was making out of myself. Of course, when I was talking to other buffoons who were just as wasted as I was, it just did not matter how illogical or how ridiculous we were being because we were following our hearts, we were speaking honestly from the heart, we weren't mincing words, and we weren't fakes who were scared to "just be themselves."
My bulletproof vest protecting me against death was quite strong, for I did not think about death or anything "depressing" when I was having a good time, chillin' with my fellow drunks. My philosophy when drinking was quite simple, and quite amoral too, I might add: Live for the moment no matter what the consequences may be. Injuring or killing somebody while driving drunk didn't matter to me. Injuring or killing myself while driving drunk didn't matter to me. Offending people and not respecting their feelings did not matter to me. Not respecting myself was so very easy to do and such a good thing to do because nobody could hate me more than I hated myself.
It's really pathetic how I wasted many years of my life to indulge in something that made me think I was stronger than I was, funnier than I was, sexier than I was, and so on & so forth. All I can do is try to live a better, sober life and let my actions speak for me.
My arrogance was grossly magnified so that I could not often see what a buffoon I was making out of myself. Of course, when I was talking to other buffoons who were just as wasted as I was, it just did not matter how illogical or how ridiculous we were being because we were following our hearts, we were speaking honestly from the heart, we weren't mincing words, and we weren't fakes who were scared to "just be themselves."
My bulletproof vest protecting me against death was quite strong, for I did not think about death or anything "depressing" when I was having a good time, chillin' with my fellow drunks. My philosophy when drinking was quite simple, and quite amoral too, I might add: Live for the moment no matter what the consequences may be. Injuring or killing somebody while driving drunk didn't matter to me. Injuring or killing myself while driving drunk didn't matter to me. Offending people and not respecting their feelings did not matter to me. Not respecting myself was so very easy to do and such a good thing to do because nobody could hate me more than I hated myself.
It's really pathetic how I wasted many years of my life to indulge in something that made me think I was stronger than I was, funnier than I was, sexier than I was, and so on & so forth. All I can do is try to live a better, sober life and let my actions speak for me.
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I think for me the biggest factor is that I like to escape everyday reality, tasks, and my own mind into a booze-fueled ignorant bliss and transient euphoria. The reality altering wish, make the real world vanish and get into a fantasy land. Then I tend to project just about anything into that mental state. But that fantasy world does not exist and is not sustainable "recreating" it by getting out of my mind drunk.
We drank for happiness and became unhappy.
We drank for joy and became miserable.
We drank for sociability and became argumentative.
We drank for sophistication and became obnoxious.
We drank for friendship and made enemies.
We drank for sleep and awakened without rest.
We drank medicinally and acquired health problems.
We drank for relaxation and got the shakes.
We drank for bravery and became afraid.
We drank for confidence and became doubtful.
We drank to make our conversation easier and we slurred our speech.
We drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell.
We drank to forget and were forever haunted.
We drank for freedom and became slaves.
We drank to erase problems and saw them multiply.
We drank to cope with life and invited death.
We drank for joy and became miserable.
We drank for sociability and became argumentative.
We drank for sophistication and became obnoxious.
We drank for friendship and made enemies.
We drank for sleep and awakened without rest.
We drank medicinally and acquired health problems.
We drank for relaxation and got the shakes.
We drank for bravery and became afraid.
We drank for confidence and became doubtful.
We drank to make our conversation easier and we slurred our speech.
We drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell.
We drank to forget and were forever haunted.
We drank for freedom and became slaves.
We drank to erase problems and saw them multiply.
We drank to cope with life and invited death.
There are days I really think the reason I drank was so I didn't have to put up with the demands of my family. A really think to me. :-(
This doesn't happen anymore - I took my life back and don't put up with their demands. :-)
This doesn't happen anymore - I took my life back and don't put up with their demands. :-)
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