help
Binge poster
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 561
help
I don't know where to start which is an indication of the mess in my head.
I've just had a completely horrendous weekend which saw my dry A reaching new depths in behaviour.
What has till now been verbal bullying turned physical.
Of course, it was all my fault.
She's been totally withdrawn since friday night, and last night when I went upstairs to bed I found a hash pipe beside the bed. Obviously there's an creative solution to every problem, eh? She can't roll joints and I refuse to do it for her.
She sent me an email this morning saying that her attitude had to change. But words mean nothing, do they? Unless she starts to live the programme she constantly preaches about to others we're going nowhere but downhill.
I say horrendous, but I did make the effort to get my kids out and having fun, hunting for conkers and stuff like that. Trying to make up for her shouting outside their bedroom at 2am that we had to pack our stuff and get out of the house.
The trouble is I know I was spoiling for a fight the whole day, I was grumpy, premenstrual and I know I picked the fight. I just don't know what to do with the resentments I'm building up, there's nowhere for the them to go, then I get frustrated and angry and try to push my point. (this fight was for me to be able to go to bed without the tv on for probably the 3rd time in 2 years. I can't see a problem with that, I don't think it's unreasonable.)
I'm not proud of the way I acted. I need to learn what to do.
I can't get to a meeting this week, I'm working late 2 nights and can't leave her with the kids any of the others.
I've just had a completely horrendous weekend which saw my dry A reaching new depths in behaviour.
What has till now been verbal bullying turned physical.
Of course, it was all my fault.
She's been totally withdrawn since friday night, and last night when I went upstairs to bed I found a hash pipe beside the bed. Obviously there's an creative solution to every problem, eh? She can't roll joints and I refuse to do it for her.
She sent me an email this morning saying that her attitude had to change. But words mean nothing, do they? Unless she starts to live the programme she constantly preaches about to others we're going nowhere but downhill.
I say horrendous, but I did make the effort to get my kids out and having fun, hunting for conkers and stuff like that. Trying to make up for her shouting outside their bedroom at 2am that we had to pack our stuff and get out of the house.
The trouble is I know I was spoiling for a fight the whole day, I was grumpy, premenstrual and I know I picked the fight. I just don't know what to do with the resentments I'm building up, there's nowhere for the them to go, then I get frustrated and angry and try to push my point. (this fight was for me to be able to go to bed without the tv on for probably the 3rd time in 2 years. I can't see a problem with that, I don't think it's unreasonable.)
I'm not proud of the way I acted. I need to learn what to do.
I can't get to a meeting this week, I'm working late 2 nights and can't leave her with the kids any of the others.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Hi bahookie.
A thing I learned, is not to keep trying to let the frustrations roll of your back. They sting, they stick, and when enough of them stick they get pretty heavy. So, I had to find a way to shake them loose. For me that was vigorous exercise and coming here to yell. Then I had to figure out how to keep the same frustrations from sticking to me again. That's harder. If I allow myself to think back on some of the jackass things Dino has done and said I still feel my jaw tightening. So staying out of the past was something to learn. That just takes being more fully involved in the present. If you haven't read Ann's post "how to have fun when you don't feel like having fun" you might check it out. It's in the "power posts" at the top of this forum. The next big problem is the present and the new situations and frustrations. For these you either have to adjust your thinking (decide what is none of your business and/or out of your control) or adjust your situation. Since we understand we can't change other people, changing your situation often means changing your location in realtion to the user. Leave the room. Hang up the phone. Maybe move on.
Anon aerobics! Ready?
Vent! Release! Avoid! (again) Vent! Release! Avoid! (again) Vent! Release! Avoid! (again)........
Hugs!
Smoke
A thing I learned, is not to keep trying to let the frustrations roll of your back. They sting, they stick, and when enough of them stick they get pretty heavy. So, I had to find a way to shake them loose. For me that was vigorous exercise and coming here to yell. Then I had to figure out how to keep the same frustrations from sticking to me again. That's harder. If I allow myself to think back on some of the jackass things Dino has done and said I still feel my jaw tightening. So staying out of the past was something to learn. That just takes being more fully involved in the present. If you haven't read Ann's post "how to have fun when you don't feel like having fun" you might check it out. It's in the "power posts" at the top of this forum. The next big problem is the present and the new situations and frustrations. For these you either have to adjust your thinking (decide what is none of your business and/or out of your control) or adjust your situation. Since we understand we can't change other people, changing your situation often means changing your location in realtion to the user. Leave the room. Hang up the phone. Maybe move on.
Anon aerobics! Ready?
Vent! Release! Avoid! (again) Vent! Release! Avoid! (again) Vent! Release! Avoid! (again)........
Hugs!
Smoke
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