hopeful4

So, I posted a couple of days ago that I am getting some financial things out of my X's name that I am responsible for per our divorce. I am dong this as fast as I possibly can.

That being said, his new wife just text me and said his new job is running a credit check on him (it's not good but no bankruptcy) and he may not get this job b/c of me.

I don't even know what to say. I am just praying that does not happen. I am doing all of this as fast as I possibly can. I don't know what else I can do.

Please pray for my anxiety friends.

FireSprite

Oh, friend, I'm sorry you are feeling so stressed. I will be sending you every spare bit of positive mojo I have today! I pray that things resolve quickly for you!

(But, of course, to put this in YOUR lap is quite short-sighted of the girlfriend, IMO. I see this as yet another long-term consequence of his choices & nothing you can do anything more about than you are already doing. Although the high road is to ignore her, I'd have to talk myself out of letting her know that trying to shame me or put this burden solely in MY lap wasn't benefitting anyone OR moving the process along any faster.)

(((((((HUGS)))))))

Ariesagain

I don't get it...if by financial things you mean stuff that's owed, even in part, I would think that would be helpful to his credit?

Not that it matters...the situation is what it is and the new girl needs to run along. I would block her number, ASAP.

Their problems are not yours to solve. Good grief.

Liveitwell

Wow, what a peach she is! It would be hard for me not to write back, "butt out, lady"...but you know she won't-she seems like a really good Codie
In all seriousness, thinking of you. You're doing the best you can and going as quickly as you can. It's time THEY stop blaming you.

wanttobehealthy

I may sound harsh but here goes... In no way do I think your xAH will not get this job because of you.

If there are financial things you were assigned as yours in the divorce, that's a legal thing but clearly the financial state of things is something he had an equal hand in.

If his credit is not ideal, he is a big boy and had a hand in that. You're a loving and kind person and so you are worried for him but it is hard to believe that it is totally on you alone if his credit is bad and due to that he does not get the job.

FireSprite

I'm assuming that it's because hopeful is moving debts from Joint Liability to her individual liability & right now, these debts are appearing on her Ex's credit history as bad marks. Once the accounts are re-registered to her name solely, it won't count against him as debt/poor rating.

But in all honesty hopeful, credit agencies don't move THAT quickly & removing a bad debt today doesn't change his credit rating by tomorrow. It could be years before the impact of this is fully eradicated from his credit reporting because he WAS liable for debts at some point. You can't do anything to remove any old, legitimate credit report issues.... so in that sense, this IS his doing as much as anyone's, right?

I think she is just finding it easier to blame you.

hopeful4

The situation is our home which I am in the process of doing a refi on to get out of his name (he thought I had already done so but had not. I did not tell him that, he just assumed). And a combined student loan in both of our names. Ugh.

hopeful4

You are right Fire Sprite.

tomsteve

welp, im thinkin of a few things you can say:

his consequences not mine.

not my circus
not my monkeys

they are going to make a great couple.

theuncertainty

I second WTBH.

Deep breath, Hopeful. You know you're working on it and doing the best that you can. And like FireSprite noted, it takes time even once the footwork is done. And seriously, unless it's a finance-related job, my understanding is that credit history tends to be used a tie-breaker between close applicants or provide a further sense of how responsible an applicant is. And IF the employer decides to not hire him because of his credit history, they'd have to provide a credit report for him to review before they actually deny him the job. He'd then have a chance to address and correct any issues. So no, even if the credit thing is a part of the issue, it wouldn't be your fault he didn't get the job, because:
1. He may not have been the strongest candidate for the position in the first place.
2. Credit history is typically only part of the review process, and his other merits would have some weight as well. (And you have no control over any of the those other merits.)
3. He'd have a chance to address the situation.

Hang in there.

AnvilheadII

it is not YOUR job to clean up HIS credit, even on jointly owned stuff!!! i fail to see how a mortgage and a student loan would be the REASON someone does not get hired. they are looking for a history of late payments, closed accounts, multiple hits on the credit report by other agencies, and good ole bad debt. they are looking for a pattern of bad financial behavior.

as for the new WIFE saying it would be YOUR fault? boy has she been drinking the Kool Aid.

Stop, Breathe. You don't have to FIX this today. and nothing you do NOW will have an immediate impact, as said above. credit agencies don't move fast. they are usually reporting a month or two behind and are dependent upon the agencies to report IN.

redatlanta

Did the divorce decree direct a date for you to refi by?

atalose

I think the only response I might give the new wife would be a list of dates and times for al-anon meetings and wish her good luck with that.

I agree fixing credit takes time, months even years so try not to wrap your mind around HER words or HIS credit issues.

Liveitwell

^ that was my thought as well they are a match made in heaven! (or hell!?)

For some reason when I re read your first post I get a mental picture of this chick and my mind starts chanting "do not do for others what they can do for themselves ". What is it about alcoholics and finding these girls that fight their battles for them? That ain't love! It's toxic codependence! Gross!!
Again-don't freak but use this time to thank your stars you are not married to him anymore and just pray he can keep his s**t together to keep this job so you might have a shot at child suppprt!

MsPINKAcres

My thoughts were if the Employer really wanted him, they would allow him to explain the situation & work with him.

Seems like maybe it's just easier to attempt to blame you rather than accept the responsibility that he just didn't get the job.

KEY WORDS:
"just because someone says it doesn't make it true"


So just because the ex & his new unhealthy mate would like to blame you for him not getting this job - doesn't make that the reason!!

Keep taking good care of YOU!

pink hugs!

Hawkeye13

What about blocking her?
The blame game is just not something you need to be playing with him or her. . . .

Liveitwell

I would think that his prospective employer would be MUCH more interested in his proven track record of irresponsible behavior, alcoholism, abandoning his kids so he can drink, you know, that stuff-than any credit history!! Just my two cents

hopeful4

No, it did not. He asked me to do it at the beginning of this month. I am guessing it will be done by the end of this month. I took a lot of verbal abuse last week from her. He came back and told me Friday that credit will not effect his job. I am relieved that is one less thing she can blame on me, but I have this horrible anxiety and just want to be DONE.

This will be my last tie to him that is not my children. I will have no reason to speak to her again if I don't choose to, and no reason to speak to him unless it relates to our children.

Praying it goes quickly. Thank you angels for helping talk me down!