RedDog735

2 Months away from a degree and an even better paying job! I've worked so hard on this, and I am finally able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. God is great for this.

I am 5 months away from a new baby. Carrying this new bundle of joy has been an emotional roller coaster so far, as I never gave myself enough time to recover and heal as a Codie. I fear that I will raise my child incorrectly as a Codie and person affected by the disease of alcoholism. I am young, full of mistakes, and barely coping with my own emotional instability and mild depression/anxiety. I still attend meetings as I can, and they certainly seem to help. But I have to say.... I am afraid. I am scared.

My baby's dad already has a 6 year old, and now has a baby coming in a couple weeks from a one night stand. And then there's lovely me. My pregnancy hormones are raging, and I constantly nag him with negative energy and worrying/attempting to control.

Higher power, please guide me through. Please help me gain positivity and happiness along the way as I have a long journey ahead of me. Allow me to follow your plan that you have for myself, even if I do not understand it. I know that it's in my best interest. Amen..

Thanks for the nonjudgmental reading my fellow SR friends. I am forever grateful for this haven.

marie1960

Maybe just for today, you can focus on just you and your unborn child? Maybe you will find some comfort in doing this, and you just may want to repeat the process tomorrow?

maia1234

RD,
This is one of my favorite things I read on SR, I hope this helps.

Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be, at this moment.

Hugs my friend!!

MsPINKAcres

Congrats on your degree & on the sweet baby to be ~

Please don't allow fear to steal your joy ~ this baby has such a sweet advantage ~ a mother with recovery, awareness, acceptance, and a willingness to DO something different ~ that is a gift that every child deserves.

Wishing you & your little one the very best!

SparkleKitty

Red, if I remember correctly, you previously believed you could not have children? Forgive me if I am remembering wrong. But if not, I just want to say congratulations on what I hope was a welcome surprise.

My hope for you is that you can take all that fear you have and turn it into motivation to really focus on yourself and your own well-being, for the baby's sake and for your own. The energy you expend investing in the illusion that you can control others is energy far better spent learning to love, respect, and take care of yourself regardless of whether or not you have a relationship in your life.

Perhaps this baby is your Higher Power at work, telling you it's time to let go of that illusion.

Hangnbyathread

Just by reading this post, I can already tell you that you are 5 times stronger than me.

lostangel011

Big Book of AA p. 417.

I nneeded to see this. That reading was my go to in early sobriety. How quickly we forget the basics. Thanks for this.

RedDog735

I'd like to think that although I haven't been the best in my recovery process, I still have the fundamental ability to be self aware of my own flaws, reflect upon them, and eventually accept them. Its other ppl, situations, events that I struggle with accepting. Nothing like a painful dose of reality assessment a few times a day. All of your kind words help me grow also....