ploneill68

November 19, 2013 my son, then 14 pushed me down onto the floor and ran out of the house... Why, because he was tired of my drinking... that was the last time I had a drop to drink.. that next morning I knew NO more, I can't do this to my 4 children anymore.
I started drinking at 14.. the same age that he was..
I tried afew meetings, but couldn't find a connection.. alone is the way I went.. in hiding, and alone. I have been alcohol free for over 2 years now. My son is now 16, he has just been arrested for possession of marijuana, and not a little, ALOT.. my A student has dropped out of school, and only thinks of when, where and how much pot he can, and will smoke. He has been in both in/out treatment centers, obviously they were unsuccessful for him. Now tomorrow the judge will decide his next step.
As I was getting better, he was getting lost. I'm so disappointed in myself, I failed at the only job I have every wanted.. being a mom. One would think I'd fall off the wagon, and crack open that bottle of wine, or go get myself a 12 pack. Somehow I haven't really had the feeling, instead I'm just numb.. almost disconnected from the boose. I have been thinking about reaching out again to a meeting, not because I'm afraid of drinking, but because I'm afraid of losing him.

least

Welcome to the family. Please stop beating yourself up over the past. It's over and done with, the only day that counts now is today. Be there for him sober. Show him how it's done. He may notice it more than you think.

We also have a forum for friends and family of substance abusers. You may find some insight there too.

I hope you can find peace of mind.

Dee74

hi and welcome ploneill68

I'm sorry for what brings you here but I'm glad you have some sober time behind you.

Best wishes for a good helpful judgement in court tomorrow.

D

FreeOwl

You didn't addict your son to pot.

It is not your fault.

You have given your son the gift of an example..... you are living what he will need to learn.

You have given your son the even greater gift of a sober parent who loves him.

We all must follow our own path. Keep being that example and being that loving, sober parent as he follows his.

You are making a difference.

You are a good parent.

maia1234

P- Have you ever thought of attending an alanon meeting. They would give you some support you might need dealing with your addict son.

Hugs my friend, there is nothing harder then loving an addict.

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR, though sorry for what has brought you here.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

uncorked

Awww, I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. That just plain sucks. But I completely agree with FreeOwl. You gave your son an example. It's ironic that he picked up using when you stopped. I'm wondering if it's because he felt the need to take care of you before (if that's even true) and now he's the one who needs it? Just be there for him, he will find his own path. Hugs to you.

Soberwolf

Welcome Phoneill

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Ploneill!!

Anna

I'm sorry for your situation.

advbike

It's not ironic at all. Very predictable. Addiction is often a result of the early environment, when caregivers aren't available or consistent. But I agree, fortunately the OP is sober and can be there for him.

I wish you strength in dealing with this - trust your higher power and it will turn out fine.