Other people's Using.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 32
Other people's Using.
How do you all deal with being around other people's using. In terms of when they're drinking or smoking dope or popping pills around you? Do residual effects worry/scare you? I can't seem to get the smell of some vodka energy drink my father was drinking earlier out of my nose. It seems wiser to me to just not be around it all and this has been my behavior in the past coupled with extreme self-rightousness and anger towards it but he just showed up at the house with one and offered to help my with my car. I personally do not like it around me at all. How do you deal with such situations? In-fact I deeply dislike alcohol and dope being around me at all.
Also, let's say in theory. You left a cup sitting in a public place, you were using this cup for the free coffee, or whatever had left it where you're sitting and perhaps someone came by that was drinking and talked over it or something is it possible it could be contaminated with alcohol?
Also, let's say in theory. You left a cup sitting in a public place, you were using this cup for the free coffee, or whatever had left it where you're sitting and perhaps someone came by that was drinking and talked over it or something is it possible it could be contaminated with alcohol?
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
It's a matter of personal choice and boundaries. I don't mind social drinking around me, I serve wine to friends that come round for dinner. I go to bars and restaurants with friends.
I do not tolerate drunkeness or drug use around me. If it's my place they are out, if it's somewhere else I'm gone. People talking over your coffee cup may create a minuscule alcohol contamination. Not sure about dope smoke. If you can get cancer from second hand smoke then maybe pot smoke wight get into your system. I would not hang around to find out. My last puff of the filthy weed started a ten month alcoholic .bender. Just one puff.
I do not tolerate drunkeness or drug use around me. If it's my place they are out, if it's somewhere else I'm gone. People talking over your coffee cup may create a minuscule alcohol contamination. Not sure about dope smoke. If you can get cancer from second hand smoke then maybe pot smoke wight get into your system. I would not hang around to find out. My last puff of the filthy weed started a ten month alcoholic .bender. Just one puff.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by blindsblinds57 
How do you all deal with being around other people's using. In terms of when they're drinking or smoking dope or popping pills around you? Do residual effects worry/scare you? I can't seem to get the smell of some vodka energy drink my father was drinking earlier out of my nose. It seems wiser to me to just not be around it all and this has been my behavior in the past coupled with extreme self-rightousness and anger towards it but he just showed up at the house with one and offered to help my with my car. I personally do not like it around me at all. How do you deal with such situations? In-fact I deeply dislike alcohol and dope being around me at all.
Also, let's say in theory. You left a cup sitting in a public place, you were using this cup for the free coffee, or whatever had left it where you're sitting and perhaps someone came by that was drinking and talked over it or something is it possible it could be contaminated with alcohol?
Also, let's say in theory. You left a cup sitting in a public place, you were using this cup for the free coffee, or whatever had left it where you're sitting and perhaps someone came by that was drinking and talked over it or something is it possible it could be contaminated with alcohol?
Originally Posted by blindsblinds57
... In-fact I deeply dislike alcohol and dope being around me at all.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,903
I haven`t had much time to sit around with drinkers or drug users lately,wwhich is a blessing.If it is pill popping or pot smoking,I do not want to be there.Some drinking is ok but when people get drunk,I find better places to be like a AA meeting .I used to not want to be around non drinking people when I was drinking.I figure they are the same,so I leave them to their drinking and doping.
Life just seems to get fuller with sober stuff as we go along,and your probably will too in time
Life just seems to get fuller with sober stuff as we go along,and your probably will too in time
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Tommyh
...Some drinking is ok but when people get drunk,I find better places to be like a AA meeting .
Originally Posted by Tommyh
...Life just seems to get fuller with sober stuff as we go along,and your probably will too in time
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
I don't mind other ppl drinking, don't really mind the occasional joint going around (not that I hang out with ppl who ever do that anymore). I try to remember that even if they're drinking like a real alcoholic...or using drugs like a real addict it's not my place, job, or roll to tell them how to run their life. Perhaps things for them are happening just like they did for me - and who am I to interfere with their process of hitting bottom? Besides all that, it's not my place to decide for them if they're an alcoholic or an addict but it is my option to hang out with them or not.....and most times I choose not to be around it not because I'm afraid but because I just don't like hangin' out with people who are doing that stuff.
As far as being afraid someone may slip something into my drink....or the alcohol on their breath may draft down and contaminate my drink......no, I don't worry about that. Honestly, I don't worry about drinking, ingesting alcohol or really even thing about it at all.
One of the promises in the steps says that when the Spiritual Malady is overcome we straighten out mentally and physically. Another says that we have a daily reprieve contingent upon the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Another says nothing so insure immunity from the first drink like intensive work with other alcoholics. Finally, another says our very lives as ex-problem drinkers depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may meet their needs. When I combine all of those in (granted, in a rather simplistic way) I get that if I'm doing spiritual-maintenance; if I'm focusing on others rather than myself, my fears, my wants, my resentments, my comfort, etc; I will straighten out mentally (thinking) and physically (physical body) and I will be in a two-way relationship with my Greater Power. In that type of relationship, I've found I've been....... as the book says..... "safe and protected."
Part of being "safe and protected" has meant I can admit to anyone, and I do mean anyone, that I'm alcoholic. No need to hide it or lie about it....I can be honest and I've been safe and protected. It means I can trust that when I practice my 3rd step decision and go through the processes of turning things over to God that I'll be ok......even though the process seems scary and may even feel unpleasant. It's also meant that on the few occasions that I've ingested alcohol unintentionally, I've been ........you guessed it...... safe and protected. I didn't get hot flashes and turn into Dr Jekyll.
Working the first 11 steps has taught me that when I've focused on me, my fears, my wants, the things I think I "need," the ppl I think I need to fix or change in specific ways to make me more comfortable or more happy all I usually ended up being was unhappy, unfulfilled, depressed, anxious, tired and fed up. Working the 12th step has taught me that when I focus more on my spiritual maintenance, on others and on having a positive impact in every area of my life at all times (ya, that's one helluva order), my life "feels" a whole lot better.............and I don't have to worry about booze either.
--that last bit just reminded me after I typed it.... the 10th step promises:
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
As far as being afraid someone may slip something into my drink....or the alcohol on their breath may draft down and contaminate my drink......no, I don't worry about that. Honestly, I don't worry about drinking, ingesting alcohol or really even thing about it at all.
One of the promises in the steps says that when the Spiritual Malady is overcome we straighten out mentally and physically. Another says that we have a daily reprieve contingent upon the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Another says nothing so insure immunity from the first drink like intensive work with other alcoholics. Finally, another says our very lives as ex-problem drinkers depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may meet their needs. When I combine all of those in (granted, in a rather simplistic way) I get that if I'm doing spiritual-maintenance; if I'm focusing on others rather than myself, my fears, my wants, my resentments, my comfort, etc; I will straighten out mentally (thinking) and physically (physical body) and I will be in a two-way relationship with my Greater Power. In that type of relationship, I've found I've been....... as the book says..... "safe and protected."
Part of being "safe and protected" has meant I can admit to anyone, and I do mean anyone, that I'm alcoholic. No need to hide it or lie about it....I can be honest and I've been safe and protected. It means I can trust that when I practice my 3rd step decision and go through the processes of turning things over to God that I'll be ok......even though the process seems scary and may even feel unpleasant. It's also meant that on the few occasions that I've ingested alcohol unintentionally, I've been ........you guessed it...... safe and protected. I didn't get hot flashes and turn into Dr Jekyll.
Working the first 11 steps has taught me that when I've focused on me, my fears, my wants, the things I think I "need," the ppl I think I need to fix or change in specific ways to make me more comfortable or more happy all I usually ended up being was unhappy, unfulfilled, depressed, anxious, tired and fed up. Working the 12th step has taught me that when I focus more on my spiritual maintenance, on others and on having a positive impact in every area of my life at all times (ya, that's one helluva order), my life "feels" a whole lot better.............and I don't have to worry about booze either.
--that last bit just reminded me after I typed it.... the 10th step promises:
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Originally Posted by blindsblinds57
How do you all deal with being around other people's using.
When I'm at a party, I keep hold of my glass. That way I know where it is at all times, and what's in it.
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