Hi
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Welcome John 
I found this place several years back - it was great to find people who understood and who gave me a safe and welcoming place to admit my alcoholism
glad to have you join us
D
I found this place several years back - it was great to find people who understood and who gave me a safe and welcoming place to admit my alcoholism
glad to have you join us
D
Geek
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Fleet, UK
Posts: 11
Thanks D, very kind of you...... I am currently not 100% sure if I am a failure or not, to all intents and purposes I am a successful guy - until Alcohol rears its ugly head, I think if it wins then I will lose my family.....
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I don't think alcoholic automatically means failure at all.
I certainly never wished I couldbe an alcoholic when I grew up - I just made some bad choices.
I was sad, not bad
There's a lot of amazing people here who've done amazing things in recovery - no reason at all why you can't be one of them too John
D
I certainly never wished I couldbe an alcoholic when I grew up - I just made some bad choices.
I was sad, not bad
There's a lot of amazing people here who've done amazing things in recovery - no reason at all why you can't be one of them too John
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4,217
Hi John, welcome to SR! I am a new member as well and have 12 days of sobriety. Couldn't have done it without the support I have found here. Stick around, search the forum, post when you need to. Hope to see you around!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
Welcome John,
I know for me saying it was a sense of relief at the time, remember it's a sickness so don't beat yourself up, doesn't mean you are weak as this sickness will and does go after anyone and everyone, many are still out there in the closet and I feel for them.
Relationships take time to get back on track, lead by example and simply let your wife see the changes, get a plan in place and go to all lengths to stay sober, for that you will be very happy you did, its not always an easy journey but man it's worth it.
Stay close
Andrew
I know for me saying it was a sense of relief at the time, remember it's a sickness so don't beat yourself up, doesn't mean you are weak as this sickness will and does go after anyone and everyone, many are still out there in the closet and I feel for them.
Relationships take time to get back on track, lead by example and simply let your wife see the changes, get a plan in place and go to all lengths to stay sober, for that you will be very happy you did, its not always an easy journey but man it's worth it.
Stay close
Andrew
Geek
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Fleet, UK
Posts: 11
I've always tried to do this by myself, thinking I am stronger than everyone else, and that I can do this without anyone else - thats completely wrong and a false thought.
Its going to take time to get through this, but if I cut the day down to manageable chunks, its less daunting.
Its going to take time to get through this, but if I cut the day down to manageable chunks, its less daunting.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
I also thought that I could do this by myself. After all, I'm the kind of person that if I set my mind to it, I do it and I do it well. This has stood me well especially throughout my career.
Not so with giving up the alcohol. I tried to give up the same way I got in trouble - secretly. Didn't happen. Tried to give up once my kids discovered my problem, but could not find it in myself to lean on them (it's my problem, not theirs, right?).
Being a member of this community helps. Until I leave so that I can drink some more. It's not like anyone can call me and say, "Hey Obs, what's up with you?" So I finally listened - I needed to out myself to people who know me beyond my four walls. I called my mom and sister to tell them I have a problem. I've enrolled in Intensive Outpatient, and I'm in touch with my daughter who lives outside of the house at least once daily. Pondering most of these steps was terribly hard on my pride, but now that it's done, it's really ok. I feel like I'm being honest for the first time in years.
I'm still doing this by myself. But I've let go of the pride of thinking that I can handle this by myself. If that makes any sense.
Not so with giving up the alcohol. I tried to give up the same way I got in trouble - secretly. Didn't happen. Tried to give up once my kids discovered my problem, but could not find it in myself to lean on them (it's my problem, not theirs, right?).
Being a member of this community helps. Until I leave so that I can drink some more. It's not like anyone can call me and say, "Hey Obs, what's up with you?" So I finally listened - I needed to out myself to people who know me beyond my four walls. I called my mom and sister to tell them I have a problem. I've enrolled in Intensive Outpatient, and I'm in touch with my daughter who lives outside of the house at least once daily. Pondering most of these steps was terribly hard on my pride, but now that it's done, it's really ok. I feel like I'm being honest for the first time in years.
I'm still doing this by myself. But I've let go of the pride of thinking that I can handle this by myself. If that makes any sense.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
My middle daughter is talking to me - barely.
I think this is a testament to how well you are loved by your wife and me by my daughter. Here is a place in which we need to offer to be completely open about our plans and progress with sobriety but not be impatient or force anything, even that communication. Actions speak louder than words.
I think this is a testament to how well you are loved by your wife and me by my daughter. Here is a place in which we need to offer to be completely open about our plans and progress with sobriety but not be impatient or force anything, even that communication. Actions speak louder than words.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
Glad you are here John--you can beat this, but take all the help you can.
It is one destructive opponent.
Admitting you have the problem is step one--not drinking again goes with that.
For it to "work" you need a recovery plan and to build a life around sobriety, health, and family--not a life around avoiding drinking.
Very different approaches. . .
It is one destructive opponent.
Admitting you have the problem is step one--not drinking again goes with that.
For it to "work" you need a recovery plan and to build a life around sobriety, health, and family--not a life around avoiding drinking.
Very different approaches. . .
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