Sancho

Just found this site. Glad to see I'm not alone. Hoping visiting here will help me through any tempting moments, when the wine-shelves at Tesco whisper 'come to us, we are your friends!'. 'Cos I know they're not.

Soberwolf

Welcome Sancho

firstymer

Welcome to SR. I am glad you are here with us.

Sancho

Thank you! Right now I feel strong and positive, but I know there will be tough times ahead.

Hevyn

Good to meet you, Sancho. Being among friends who understood really helped me. I'd felt all alone until I found SR. No one else in my life had a clue what I was going through. Glad you are here.

emme99

Hi & Welcome Sancho

least

Welcome to the family. I hope the support here can help you get sober for good as it's helped me.

Anna

I'm glad you found us Sancho. You will find lots of support here.

Steely

Welcome Sancho. Me early days too. This site has been so helpful in helping remain sober. I hope the same for you.

Upward2Enlightenment

Welcome Sancho

Sean30

Welcome aboard Sancho

Sancho

Sincerest thanks guys! Here, it's Saturday morning, the sky is blue, the rain has finally stopped, my bicycle is serviced, oiled up and ready for a long blast up the hills...and I'm sober, not feeling that 'not-hungover-but-not-quite-right' Saturday morning feeling I normally had. BTW, I saw reference on another thread to 'PAWS'...what does that mean?

ALinNS

Welcome, we are glad you are here.

I smiled to myself when I read your post and the wine calling, my very first thought was if alcohol is my friend I do not need any enemies.

Enjoy your bike ride, my better half and I are going hiking later this morning with our dogs. It's such a great feeling being sober and being able to actually enjoy what life has to offer.

Have a great day
Andrew

Sancho

Thanknyou Andrew! Coincidentally I shelved the cycle in favour of a hike with an old friend, I brought my two terriers, he brought his labrador, he's been off the Stupid Sauce for two years and we agreed to support each other on the journey. A lot of laughs, a lot of honesty, a lot of rain and clouds up in the hills but nothing bothered us. Had I imbibed yesterday, I wouldn't have had the motivation to go on the hike with him. I hope you and OH had a good hike!

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Sancho!!

sugarbear1

PAWS is post acute withdrawal. Just how our bodies heal after several months of sobriety. Everyone is different, but we think we drink and have a good time, but over a period of time, we are still healing; this is when we realize how alcohol had really done more to our bodies.

Again, everyone is different and there are many variables, so relax, you may not have this!

Sancho

This is an odd post as it's a year and a half since I was last here. Of course I fell into old habits after a few months, my particular pattern being the bottle of red wine at home on a Friday night, the one I 'won't finish', but somehow always do. In the last twenty years, I only rarely go to the pub, and when I do, it's just to meet an old friend or two and it's fairly sedate. It's the wine at home that's my vice. Starts with Friday, then becomes three or four nights a week. I have a pretty low tolerance, and a bottle of wine makes me happy, then sleepy, and next day I can't really remember much. But I feel wrecked, sad, blue, rather than classically 'hungover'.
Anyway...about two months ago I stopped again. Don't know what date. Decided to give it a rest. Then realised it was Lent. Although I'm not particularly religious, I thought what the hell, I'll keep it up for Lent. So I did, and Lent passed, and I didn't 'celebrate' with a bottle of wine, because it's nicer to wake up happy. And sleep better. And not get narked by little things, and shrug off daily irritants that come one's way. Instead of letting small things irritate you because of bad sleep and morning-after alcohol-induced fug.
The good thing is I don't know how long exactly I've 'abstained', so I'm not counting days and feeling smug. That's how things have seemed for a while now, and I hope it continues. But a niggling doubt lingers...what if this is just a 'phase', my mind telling me that all is okay, I don't 'need' to use wine to relax anymore, so it's okay if I.....go and use wine to relax precisely because I don't need to? I know alcohol is devilishly clever and can play tricks like this. I know it can even say 'okay, you win, you've licked it, have a few glasses of wine, you'll be well able to put the cork back in the bottle because you're okay now'. Except I know I'm not.

Dee74

Welcome back Sancho

Alcohols not clever - it's just a liquid.

But our minds can be fiendishly cunning if there's a part of us that is addicted to alcohol.

All I can tell you is I'm nearly 11 years sober. I used to be an all day everyday drinker.

Have I thought about drinking in the last 11 years - you betcha.

But I didn't drink - because I accept that my relationship with alcohol is toxic and it will, sooner or later, lead me back to where I don't want to be.

I have a list of alternatives I can turn to instead - from support here to exercise to Urge Surfing etc (see link below)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

I know that whatever happens I don't have to drink.

I can choose something else.
I have that power.

There no fear of ambush anymore because my inner addict is a pygmy with a pea shooter - easily waved away and dismissed

D

Anna

It's good to see you back, Sancho and congratulations on your sobriety!

I think that the niggling doubt will diminish a bit each day and each week that you continue your recovery.

Sancho

Thanks Dee and Anna!
Yes Dee, you're right of course. There is no Bogeyman in Alcohol, it's all in my head, it's me fooling myself.
And thank you for the link to Urge Surfing. I do remember that when giving up smoking, the urges came in very distinct yet receding waves that could be managed one at a time until they disappeared. But I never obsessed about tobacco the way I do about alcohol (specifically red wine). I'll read up more about the technique, though.
Sincerest thanks again.