back2thegoodME

Is it possible to get sober if you live with your "significant other" that drinks?

biminiblue

Lots of people have done it. Yes.

Berrybean

Yep. I did it.

Ruby2

Yes, it's possible. I had to focus on me and my sobriety and not look to what my husband was or is doing. Since I quit my husband sobered up and then relapsed. I stayed sober. I can't control, fix or manage his drinking but I can control how that impacts my decision not to drink. I reach out here and to sober friends in real life.

You can do it.

gettingsmarter

It is. It was only possible when I made the decision deep down in the core of my being that drinking is no longer an option EVER.

Carlotta

I have done it. It is definitely possible the key like Ruby said is to get a lot of support and focus on your own recovery and also not to make your sobriety contingent upon someone else.

ALinNS

For me no, I stayed single for 7 years after my divorce, single parent. Met a lady who had a professional career, high level, lots of stress, I discovered early she was an alcoholic, took her for help, she spent 28 days in a program that helped me, her drinking was wearing me down mentally, I knew I was starting to relapse mentally, so when she came out and went back to drinking within two weeks, I gave her a choice, me or the bottle, she chose the latter and yes the pain from leaving was off the charts but I stayed sober and I have no idea how as I wasn't following my program at all.

We are all different, but that is what happened in my case, I can't let anything get in the way of my sobriety and I will not.

I wish you well, talking it over with him/her is a good first step.

DG0409

Absolutely.

I quit drinking and quit smoking weed while living with my then boyfriend who continued to do both things. My first year quit was in these circumstances and eventually I decided that the relationship wasn't what I wanted anymore.

It is certainly easier not to have drugs or alcohol around but it is more than possible to get sober whatever the circumstance.

I relied heavily on SR for support. I also changed my thinking and really looked at my boyfriend's behavior. I saw him sitting in front of the computer smoking weed day in and day out and I knew I wanted more than that for my life. I watched how he would get irritable if he ran out of weed- I no longer had to worry about that. I saw how he would turn to a drink if he was having a bad day- I found healthier coping mechanisms.

It can be a struggle- more than anything, I felt really alone. It wasn't even that I was tempted to drink, I was VERY set on my sobriety. Maybe it would have been a little easier if I had gone to AA meetings during that time. SR did help a lot though.

Of course, getting sober is never an easy process no matter the circumstances. So worth it though.

2ndhandrose

Yes, for me.

I have been with my husband for coming up on 23 years, drank with him for the first 22 years. I have been sober for 1 year on Jan 1. Husband drinks daily and has no intention of quitting that I am aware of.

I am sad for him, but over the moon for myself. I will never drink again.

PurpleKnight

Non drinkers and those that are teetotal can live perfectly happy alongside those that drink

. . .we can too!!

Coldfusion

For me the answer is also, "No."

My wife and I stopped drinking many times, but always went back to it because one or the other of us did. Finally, faced with the prospect of losing everything, we both quit three years ago and with the help of AA have stayed sober. But I think that if either of us started drinking again, the other would too.

Anna

Of course it is. You will need to set some boundaries to take care of yourself, but go for it. You can do it!