Stewy84

Been on sertraline 100mg for just over 6 weeks, before that I was on sertraline 50mg for about 4 weeks. Over the Christmas period I've had a few spells of severe social anxiety which was extremely painful and has spiralled me into a consistent low mood. People keep telling me I'm doing well. Doing well with what? Doing well by punishing myself by attending multiple social events and suffering crippling anxiety? It's taking over

I have no idea what to do. I've got a social event that I was invited to at my neighbours starting in a few hours. My plan was to chill out before going back to work tomorrow but now I'm expected round there and I know they will be disappointed if I don't go.

I also have no real reference point for what it means to feel better. Firstly I was on citalopram then venlafaxine and now the sertraline. I've had recurring headaches most prominently with the venlafaxine.

I've felt "lousy" for the most of the year, something I can't really put my finger on but I've just felt sluggish and low consistently.

I'm done with feeling like this, I want to improve my life and beat the anxiety but at the moment I'm getting into social situations and just freezing which is causing major major problems. You just come off as rude and aloof rather than relaxed and at ease. I'm the type that isn't really able to laugh the anxiety off, it is very noticeable when something isn't right and almost always someone will ask- are you ok?

What do I do? What can I do? Is this what I have to work with in sobriety? Can anyone help me?

There will of course be drunk people at the engagement which just adds to the chaos

I'm sorry everyone, I'm trying my best to get on with things and help myself and not post but I'm really finding things hard at present

Stewy

Soberwolf

Hey Stewy I don't know what to say I know you have suffered with depression & anxiety I found this link see if it helps

Depression support groups - Stress, anxiety and depression - NHS Choices

I'm now down to 10mg citalopram a low dose after trying both setraline & venlafaxine which I didn't like

Stewy I think you could write a bucket list of things to do that would bring you joy

If you don't feel up to the gathering don't go

Do you read ? that's another idea or how about volunteering ? or a new course in something ? a holiday perhaps ? try & be kind

Ask yourself what are you depressed about what is causing you to feel this low ?

PurpleKnight

I'd give it a miss if you're not feeling up to it.

Putting yourself first in all of this isn't a bad thing, sometimes we have to keep ourselves right!!

courage2

Stop punishing yourself! Social events are for people who enjoy them. If you don't enjoy them, why go? Because others expect you to and will be disappointed if you don't? Not if because of your anxiety you appear rude or aloof. Because they're really work, not social? Then do the work if you absolutely have to, and leave.

Nowadays, I make the first move by inviting others out, one or two at a time, for coffee. Then I let them know that they won't be seeing me at parties etc. No large gatherings, no evenings out, no bars, no feasts. But I'm very available as a delightful coffee date!

I wish you luck & ever-increasing skill at setting the boundaries you need to be happy.

uncorked

Hey, I agree with courage -- just don't go if they make you uncomfortable. I don't think I could handle being in a party situation just yet so don't push yourself. I turned down two xmas eve invitations because of that. I know this sounds cliche, but yoga and meditation have helped me a lot. Also, there's an amino acid called L-theanine that they gave me in rehab for sleep and anxiety. While it doesn't make you sleepy, it relaxes you.

JK130

Another perspective is that you do have an invitation, to an event, with real people. Can you make yourself go for a short time, and smile? It's good to be part of a community, at least part of the time, even if it feels stressful. In the long run pulling away from people isn't very fun. Lots of us are isolated, and that leads to a different kind of depression and anxiety.

I'm happy that your neighbors have included you. Take care of yourself.