renee18

I know I posted a good post the other day but it did not last long. I got very mad at my alcoholic dad this past week. I asked him if he was going to the football game and he said no and i asked him if he want to watch my march in the band and he said no. At that point my heart broke. My mom was going to the game so I thought he would go too. I guess not. I love my dad alot and i know he has a disease but at times when he is not drinking and says this stuff makes me sad. It does not matter if my dad is drinking or not he is still the same person. He is a little nicer but still will not come watch me march. After that happen I went to the angry mood and I was feeling down because next month we have Parent night when you get to walk across the field with your parents I told my dad about it and is said he will go but the more I think about it he may not go. I have to have a plan B if my dad doe snot come. Yes my mom will be there and that is great but I want my dad to walk me across the field so much I have been waiting for this day since 8 th grade when I started marching. I know I should not have expectations of my dad but it is hard for me at this time. It is my senior year and my dad is missing out and i hate to see him missing out on the things I am doing this year. I though I could handle my dad sayng no about the game but I didn't. I know I can get mad but I can't let it bring me down and that is what I did. Today I feel better about it butI am still mad at my dad a little bit.
Love,
Shana, 18

splendra

Hey Shana,

All of your post are good post it is the tone that is different and all of your tones are fine too. I am glad that you come here and post and get your feelings out. You never know who will be helped by what you say.

I am sorry your dad does not want to go and see you march. But, maybe he will eventually go. I know you want him there and that makes you sad when he does not go. Truely he is missing out more than you because you are living your life and getting as much as you can out of it and that is more than what he is doing!!! I would even go as far to say that he is punishing himself by not going and enjoying seeing his baby girl doing her thing.

I have you and your family on my prayer list and I will be asking that your dad have a change of heart. You take care of you and try not to take what he does personally!!!!

(((((BIG HUG )))))

renee18

Thanks splendra. I hope my dad has a change of heart too. I know he is missing out more than I am but it is just had sometimes and this week was. your post are always helpful. Thanks for the words and I will talk to you soon
Love,
Shana, 18

kj1221

I would have a heart to heart talk with him before he starts drinking, maybe a hour after waking up?

renee18

Thanks kj1221 that is a good idea but I have never in my life talked to my dad and the think is I think I did my part I finally asked him to come but he said no so I did what I could it just broke my heart because of the answer. My dad knows that parent night is very important to me so if he does not good then he is missing out on a lot in my life. I can't make him go. I would talk to him but I am never home that much I am at my house to eat, sleep, and do homework that is it. I do wish I could sit down and really talk to my dad but I am not ready for that yet. I thank you for your response. It does make me think a lot about really talking to my dad.
Love,
Shana, 18

Magichappens

Shana,
Your dad sounds like he is incapable of giving you the time and caring that you need. I know how hard that is. It's frustrating and sad. It is hard to detach from the people we love. We want so badly to share things with them.

I would love to share more things with Mr. Magic, but I realize that he can't. It's not because he doesn't love me. He has problems that keep him from it. I tried for a long time to try to get him to participate more in our life. I finally had to move on and realize that he gave what he could.

That left a void in my life. I needed to find people who were capable of giving me some of the things that I was missing.

Have you asked any of your Al-Anon friends to come see you march? I bet that you would feel really great to share that with them. If I lived near you, I'd come. Hugs, Magic

renee18

Thanks magic you post was really great for me to read. I have asked Al-Anon friends to come watch me watch and they are going to come. thank for the post that was great I needed that.
Love,
Shana, 18