Youcangetthere

Morning all. Hate today. Hate the feeling. Why can't I say no....

Dee74

I think it takes a good deal of effort to do things differently...top stop and reach out for help rather than reaching for a bottle...

it will get easier tho the more you reach out

Apart from posting here, do you have a recovery plan

D

FarToGo

Feel for you, been there many times. Do as Dee suggests, reach out. We're a good start on SR.
love and good vibes to you
x

Gottalife

I read your other posts and I can relate. I couldn't say no because I had lost the power of choice in drink. Often I would find myself drinking without any conscious thought at all, even having sworn off that very morning.

It was because I was suffering from alcoholism, a progressive terminal illness. I thought I was doomed. Every attempt failed.

I failed to understand my own behaviour. I set out to do the things I wanted to do, and ended up doing the things I hate. For though the will to do good was in me, the performance was not.

I found a permanent solution, but then, I was willing to do anything to stop the misery.

least

It took me a long time to be able to say No, but I kept trying until I succeeded. Now I have six years sober. Keep trying!

Youcangetthere

Hi Dee. No plan, just remorse for what I do

Youcangetthere

Thanks FarToGo, its not a good place to be. I know that now as I sit with my head in my hands, trying to act normal in front if my family. Pity I couldn't see that last night......

Dee74

This is a really cool link to help you devise a plan

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf

Youcangetthere

Thanks Gottalife,
I am slowly accepting that I have no control over my drinking. What I can't do is convince myself I don't need to drink. Right now, this minute I feel horrid, shaky, close to being unwell and the thought of a drink repulses me... What scares me is when the thought enters my head tonight, I won't say no.

On The Road

Hi youcangetthere. It's difficult for all of us to break the cycle. I spent years thinking that I'll stop drinking TOMORROW. It never happened until I just did it. It was as simple as saying F-it not TODAY. It was scary as hell, but under all the cravings and hangovers and poor health and low self-esteem, I had had enough. The good news is YCGT, you can do it, too. Give yourself the gift of sobriety this holiday season. I chose to stop the day after Christmas and will have one year under my belt in 3 days.

Please join the rest of us TODAY.

Youcangetthere

Thanks On The Road
I wish with all my heart, as I do every morning for the strength to say no. What is sad is that my mind cannot think of anything else. Right now it's thinking "why did I drink", and I know later today it will be thinking" when can I drink....I need a plan to stop me from going out to buy that bottle I don't need.

Youcangetthere

Hi Least,
Thanks for your words of encouragement...oh what I'd give to be rid if this thing that has a grip on my life.

doggonecarl

You can start saying no when you stop listening to the voice that tells you its okay to drink. The voice is a lie. It's your addiction and it doesn't want you to say no.

But you can. Thoughts can't make you drink. Only you can make yourself drink. Tonight, when the urge comes, take out a pen and paper and write down your acceptance that you can't drink, your commitment to not drink, and why you won't drink. Do it every time you think of drinking. Stay busy, read recovery literature, come to SR and post before you drink.

You can say no. You can say no.

Soberwolf

Here's a ton of useful links to help

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

On The Road

Having a plan, imho, is the most important part of getting and staying sober. And in a second I'll give you an idea of my mine. But before that, it's important to know that you need to create it. It doesn't just appear from no where and everything's better. From the handful of your posts I've read, I sort of get the sense you're waiting for something to happen (not judging you, mind you)?

You must create your own plan for your own benefit. It means you'll have to change. I certainly did.

So here goes, my plan:

1. Don't drink. Ever.
2. Weekly therapy to deal with anxiety and depression which are HUGE triggers for me.
3. Meditation. I set aside time at least once a week to think about the good bad and ugly of last week and what I learned and how I will try to apply to my next week.
4. Regular exercise.
5. No caffeine (cuts down on anxiety).
6. Use SR for getting/providing support.
7. Reading about my addiction.
8. Having exit plans ready for social situations.
9. Knowing what my responses will be when various people ask me what I'm drinking/why I'm not drinking.

I hope this gives you an idea how you can start creating and living your own.

Bird615

I was finally ready to say no when things finally got so bad that the thought of drinking was at least as frightening as the thought of not drinking.

Then I had to get help. Trying to just stop without a plan and a lot of support was impossible for me. I also had to be willing to suffer for a while, but I trusted that the suffering wouldn't last forever, provided I did the work.

I am now coming out on the other side and seeing the light of day. Life is good again and I can't think of a drink without remembering all the awfulness that comes with it.

Get a plan and if you stumble, make some adjustments and keep trying. Life can be better than you can imagine right now.

freshstart57

It helped me to make two lists, YCGT. The first one was the easy one, the list of bad things that would stop when I quit drinking. The second list was harder, and became the basis of my plan. It was a list of good things that could start if I quit, things I could do ONLY if I quit.

This made quitting the first step to regaining my old life, and building a new one. It made quitting the necessary action before all the good things I needed started to happen. It made quitting a completed thing in the past, and made every day something to look forward to, rather than something to dread and fear.

Keep posting here, there is a lot of support for you. You CAN DO THIS.