This one last drug of mine....
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This one last drug of mine....
Well I was perusing the list of side effects from caffeine the other day.
Stuff like anxiety, depression, GERD, elevated heart rate, chronic stress response, sleep disruption, etc, etc, etc.....
All symptoms I've had for quite some time. I wake in the morning and go right for the coffeepot. For nearly my entire adult life, I've consumed a lot of coffee, caffeine in energy drinks for periods of my life. Before adulthood it was sodas. Coca-cola, mountain dew. And copious amounts of sugar. Caffeine and sugar were probably my real gateway drugs.
I imagine they all pile up in the body. The effect must surely be cumulative. For the past few years I've said aloud to myself many times a week - sometimes many times a day - "I need to quit drinking so much coffee".
I quietly try to cut back, then fail
I go a few days having less - then binge
I tell myself "tomorrow"
I say "just one cup" - then wind up having five
I suffer physical symptoms but I'm unable to stop
Does this sound familiar?
Caffeine is a drug. It is a highly-addictive drug and it operates on many of the same chemicals in the brain that other drugs and alcohol do. I want to cut back to a reasonable one-a-day or less. I'm not sure if I'll be able to. Maybe it'll wind up being all-or-nothing like with other drugs and alcohol for me.
For now, though... I have managed to have just one red-eye, a half cup coffee, two excedrin (for headache) and a half a coca cola yesterday. Today, I had just one strong red-eye.
For most of the day I've felt tired, glum, irritable, edgy and stressed. These are all symptoms of caffeine withdrawal. It's also Christmas and that's a tricky, stressy time for me that comes along with triggers and depression. I'm sure though that much of this is a direct result of my cutting way back on caffeine.
What we put into our bodies does have an effect on them. Some substances, like alcohol and caffeine - effect our entire body. Over a course of many years, it just seems logical that excessive amounts of a substance which fires up our adrenal system, triggers the fight-or-flight response, sets our neurons a-firing, and keys us up with anxiety and hyper-alertness would lead to negative effects.
I'm having an herbal stress relief tea this evening and am going to continue on trying to keep cutting the amount back. It's so obvious that my body is intensely dependent on caffeine. I have consumed very strong coffee for decades. Often in ridiculous excess. I have a suspicion that it has greatly contributed to anxiety, depression, intestinal distress, negative personal beliefs and self-talk, and the perpetuation of issues that keep me 'stuck' in parts of my growth and development.
There's nothing inherently wrong with coffee now and then, perhaps even daily. But the truth is that I have had a very addictive relationship with caffeine for a very long time. It's time to determine whether it's possible for me to have a healthy relationship with this one last drug of mine..... or it's going to have to go, with the rest of 'em.
Stuff like anxiety, depression, GERD, elevated heart rate, chronic stress response, sleep disruption, etc, etc, etc.....
All symptoms I've had for quite some time. I wake in the morning and go right for the coffeepot. For nearly my entire adult life, I've consumed a lot of coffee, caffeine in energy drinks for periods of my life. Before adulthood it was sodas. Coca-cola, mountain dew. And copious amounts of sugar. Caffeine and sugar were probably my real gateway drugs.
I imagine they all pile up in the body. The effect must surely be cumulative. For the past few years I've said aloud to myself many times a week - sometimes many times a day - "I need to quit drinking so much coffee".
I quietly try to cut back, then fail
I go a few days having less - then binge
I tell myself "tomorrow"
I say "just one cup" - then wind up having five
I suffer physical symptoms but I'm unable to stop
Does this sound familiar?
Caffeine is a drug. It is a highly-addictive drug and it operates on many of the same chemicals in the brain that other drugs and alcohol do. I want to cut back to a reasonable one-a-day or less. I'm not sure if I'll be able to. Maybe it'll wind up being all-or-nothing like with other drugs and alcohol for me.
For now, though... I have managed to have just one red-eye, a half cup coffee, two excedrin (for headache) and a half a coca cola yesterday. Today, I had just one strong red-eye.
For most of the day I've felt tired, glum, irritable, edgy and stressed. These are all symptoms of caffeine withdrawal. It's also Christmas and that's a tricky, stressy time for me that comes along with triggers and depression. I'm sure though that much of this is a direct result of my cutting way back on caffeine.
What we put into our bodies does have an effect on them. Some substances, like alcohol and caffeine - effect our entire body. Over a course of many years, it just seems logical that excessive amounts of a substance which fires up our adrenal system, triggers the fight-or-flight response, sets our neurons a-firing, and keys us up with anxiety and hyper-alertness would lead to negative effects.
I'm having an herbal stress relief tea this evening and am going to continue on trying to keep cutting the amount back. It's so obvious that my body is intensely dependent on caffeine. I have consumed very strong coffee for decades. Often in ridiculous excess. I have a suspicion that it has greatly contributed to anxiety, depression, intestinal distress, negative personal beliefs and self-talk, and the perpetuation of issues that keep me 'stuck' in parts of my growth and development.
There's nothing inherently wrong with coffee now and then, perhaps even daily. But the truth is that I have had a very addictive relationship with caffeine for a very long time. It's time to determine whether it's possible for me to have a healthy relationship with this one last drug of mine..... or it's going to have to go, with the rest of 'em.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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well.... it's less about bravery and more about acceptance.
I'm tired of having heartburn. I'm tired of anxiety. I'm tired of feeling more winded than I should be during a workout. I'm tired of sweaty palms, nervousness, over-active sweat glands and soaking through shirts when I am experiencing heightened social anxiety. I'm tired of sleep problems and irritable bowels. I'm tired of pretending to myself that excessive caffeine consumption isn't a part of all this.
The idea of NOT drinking coffee really stinks. I really enjoy coffee and even moreso the social aspect of it. It's an experience and a ritual that brings me together with friends. Hmm... again... all of these same statements were statements I made about alcohol....
Anyway, I do hope that unlike alcohol I can find a way to moderate. But I'm to the point that if I am unable, then this last drug also has to go. It's not worth it. I'm tired of accepting negative health and life consequences for the sake of any drug.
I'm tired of having heartburn. I'm tired of anxiety. I'm tired of feeling more winded than I should be during a workout. I'm tired of sweaty palms, nervousness, over-active sweat glands and soaking through shirts when I am experiencing heightened social anxiety. I'm tired of sleep problems and irritable bowels. I'm tired of pretending to myself that excessive caffeine consumption isn't a part of all this.
The idea of NOT drinking coffee really stinks. I really enjoy coffee and even moreso the social aspect of it. It's an experience and a ritual that brings me together with friends. Hmm... again... all of these same statements were statements I made about alcohol....
Anyway, I do hope that unlike alcohol I can find a way to moderate. But I'm to the point that if I am unable, then this last drug also has to go. It's not worth it. I'm tired of accepting negative health and life consequences for the sake of any drug.
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I love coffee, too, FreeOwl, and the thought of giving it up sends shivers down my spine.
It's something I need to tackle and I fear abstinence is the only answer for me. One cup of coffee only makes me want another.
It's something I need to tackle and I fear abstinence is the only answer for me. One cup of coffee only makes me want another.
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Location: The Deep South
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I went through a period where I was drinking a little too much. I quit altogether. And then I started drinking it again. My tolerance was reset to low again. Ever since, I stick to 2-3 cups and I'm fine.
Have you thought of just cutting way back? I have found I can stay under three with no ill effects, and usually, with no urges to drink more.
Have you thought of just cutting way back? I have found I can stay under three with no ill effects, and usually, with no urges to drink more.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
In 2005/06 I quit caffeine but for occasional green tea. It did seem to help but of course back then I was still drinking and smoking pot. It lasted about 9 months tops and then I started drinking coffee again. Then my caffeine use crept up to new levels... a lot like alcohol after attempts to quit and then going back to it.
The parallels are pretty clear.
The parallels are pretty clear.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 737
I am right there with you Freeowl, down to the GERD and anxiety. I go through phases where things are okay and then I just make myself sick with coffee. I am very particular about how I have it, and will plan my activities around it too.
I try to crack down on my intake sometimes then "relapse" when I need it too much.
Thanks for reminding me the addiction struggle with coffee is real! As my sobriety from alcohol strengthens I hope to apply my growth to gaining freedom from coffee and compulsive eating as well.
Best of luck in your own fight!!
I try to crack down on my intake sometimes then "relapse" when I need it too much.
Thanks for reminding me the addiction struggle with coffee is real! As my sobriety from alcohol strengthens I hope to apply my growth to gaining freedom from coffee and compulsive eating as well.
Best of luck in your own fight!!
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Location: Somerset
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Add me to the list.
I've cut back to two cups (strong, black and real (not instant coffee that we tend to drink in the UK) first thing in the morning.
I do question whether I should knock it on the head because I do struggle with stress and anxiety.
I think I'm going to make my fledgling sobriety my priority for a while longer. Quit the coffee further down the line.
Maybe!
I've cut back to two cups (strong, black and real (not instant coffee that we tend to drink in the UK) first thing in the morning.
I do question whether I should knock it on the head because I do struggle with stress and anxiety.
I think I'm going to make my fledgling sobriety my priority for a while longer. Quit the coffee further down the line.
Maybe!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Day three of my efforts to wean off this drug. Yesterday I had only one (though a large strong redeye so probably upwards of 350mg caffeine).
Last night I was tired and irritable and had a slight edge of an incoming headache. This morning I've woken to a headache and feel a bit sick to my stomach. May have to take excedrin (which contains about 120mg caffeine) if it gets worse.
My guts are still overactive and I have been having mild bouts of sweats.
It's not terrible, but I can definitely feel the withdrawal. I have read it takes 1-2 weeks to work fully through the caffeine withdrawal process. Given how long and how consistently I've used daily caffeine I expect it will take at least that for my body to recalibrate.
Last night I was tired and irritable and had a slight edge of an incoming headache. This morning I've woken to a headache and feel a bit sick to my stomach. May have to take excedrin (which contains about 120mg caffeine) if it gets worse.
My guts are still overactive and I have been having mild bouts of sweats.
It's not terrible, but I can definitely feel the withdrawal. I have read it takes 1-2 weeks to work fully through the caffeine withdrawal process. Given how long and how consistently I've used daily caffeine I expect it will take at least that for my body to recalibrate.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Hi FreeOwl,
I had all those symptoms many years ago. Anxiety, depression, insomnia.
One day I woke up full of the joys of spring, felt good. Had my usual pot of ridiculously strong coffee, and the anxiety swept in. Finally put two and two together. Quit caffeine, and the symptoms pretty much went away (unless there was a very good reason for it). I didn't have any caffeine for about 15 years. And yes, I was surprised how strong the withdrawal symptoms were. Shakes, headaches, sweating. Reminded me it really is a drug.
I actually started drinking it again, a few months ago, as I realised my not being a morning person was really getting in the way of things. But I've been working out the dosage ever since. I only drink it in the morning. If I make my coffee too strong, or have an extra tea or something on top, the symptoms hit again (which happened a few days ago). But I've pretty much figured out the right amount to get the kick start to the day I want, but without the insomnia and anxiety that I really don't want.
Good luck working things out. I think a lot of people follow the morning only rule. Which gives a nice, finite stopping point for the day which might help. I never did understand people who take it in the morning to wake up, and then at night to help sleep. It's the same drug. How can it do different things at different times of the day?
I had all those symptoms many years ago. Anxiety, depression, insomnia.
One day I woke up full of the joys of spring, felt good. Had my usual pot of ridiculously strong coffee, and the anxiety swept in. Finally put two and two together. Quit caffeine, and the symptoms pretty much went away (unless there was a very good reason for it). I didn't have any caffeine for about 15 years. And yes, I was surprised how strong the withdrawal symptoms were. Shakes, headaches, sweating. Reminded me it really is a drug.
I actually started drinking it again, a few months ago, as I realised my not being a morning person was really getting in the way of things. But I've been working out the dosage ever since. I only drink it in the morning. If I make my coffee too strong, or have an extra tea or something on top, the symptoms hit again (which happened a few days ago). But I've pretty much figured out the right amount to get the kick start to the day I want, but without the insomnia and anxiety that I really don't want.
Good luck working things out. I think a lot of people follow the morning only rule. Which gives a nice, finite stopping point for the day which might help. I never did understand people who take it in the morning to wake up, and then at night to help sleep. It's the same drug. How can it do different things at different times of the day?
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I can handle coffee in moderation but I can't take Excedrin. That stuff gives me major anxiety to the point of shaking. Something about it just does not agree with me. Maybe it's the way the caffeine in it is delivered to my body all at once.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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Originally Posted by FreeOwl 
Well I was perusing the list of side effects from caffeine the other day.
Stuff like anxiety, depression, GERD, elevated heart rate, chronic stress response, sleep disruption, etc, etc, etc.....
Stuff like anxiety, depression, GERD, elevated heart rate, chronic stress response, sleep disruption, etc, etc, etc.....
I used to act just like an alcoholic around coffee. I'd sneak sips from my mother's daily iced coffees as a kid. I couldn't wait to drink my first cup as an adult. I got seriously addicted. No I wasn't going to die from it, but I was absolutely obsessed about coffee. I'm sure my friends and coworkers thought I was nuts the way I talked about it, and the way my personality changed when I drank it.
I tried to quit at least 15 times. Even donated my coffee pot to Salvation Army. I'd swear it off, then rationalize something like "I'll just have one cup in the morning to get me going" or "I'll switch to decaf." There were many times I drank coffee instead of food. I absolutely loved the happy-buzz coffee gave me, and how that hot liquid warmed my soul. Yeah I hated the coffee breath, the nervous bladder, the jitters, but it was worth it. Coffee masked my depression so good, and helped me with my facade of "Life is great! I'm not depressed! I'm not angry! I have everything in control! I'm happy!" Ugh.
It didn't even matter how I quit, I always went back. I've tried going cold turkey, thinking the memory of the awful headaches would be enough to convince me to never go back to coffee. I tried just limiting the amounts and drinking coffee like a normal person, and talking about coffee like a normal person. I tried to switch to just drinking regular coffee and staying away from fancy latte drinks that caused more than the food I ate for breakfast and lunch. I tried to just have decaf. I tried weaning myself off of it. I tried just drinking that herbal caffeine free fake coffee from the health shoppe--chicory root or something. Nothing, nothing, nothing worked.
The one thing that got close to working, was switching to tea. I did get obsessive and compulsive with my tea drinking, but I found it to be a healthier "addiction" than coffee. It makes me less anxious and less jittery. I also find it to be less chemically addictive. I try to view my tea drinking as an "enjoyable hobby". I know at least the tea is better for me.
You know how most people wake up and the first thing on their mind is to pee? Well mine was, "Where is my coffee?." I know it sounds funny, but in hindsight it really wasn't. I also used to drink a lot of diet coke before my coffee addiction. Oh, and come to think of it, a lot of diet snapple iced tea when that was popular. I used to buy it by the caseloads. I also used to drink a lot of General foods internal coffees because of the sugar + caffeine. It made me giddy. I wonder if people at work thought there was alcohol in those drinks of mine. One time I sensed someone smelled it when I went to the bathroom. My personality definitely changes around caffeine (and sugar).
I've thought about working an OA program but right now I think I have the caffeine/sugar "drug" under control. I don't undereat anymore either.
I really think I should have treated coffee like alcohol.
I should also mention that I've had depression and anxiety since I was a kid, and the caffeine does nasty things to my anxiety. I lie to myself that the caffeine helped my depression.
I cringe whenever I read health articles about the benefits of caffeine and coffee, just like I cringe when I read about the benefits of wine. To me they are both drugs and both poisons to the body, mind, and spirit.
You wrote that you want to cut back to a one a day or less. My experience has shown me that only 100% abstinence works.
Have you tried green tea? My experience is that it is a lot less addictive.
How did the herbal stress relief tea work for you? I find that some nights chamomile tea works and other nights for whatever reason it doesn' t. But I still find it soothing to sip.
Oh forgot to also add--I also had the intestinal distress from all the caffeine, and I find that tea (green, white, or oolong--no black tea, too uch caffeine for me) does not bother my stomach.
I strongly encourage you to try to continue to give up the coffee for good. I was successful with quitting many times, or just having one cup in the morning, but there was always some stupid rationalization for my slowly increasing the intake again. And switching to just decaf didn't work either because again there was always some stupid reason for switching to caf.
Good luck and keep us posted. And thank you for allowing me the chance to be honest with myself about my coffee addiction. Yeah it's not drugs or alcohol but the chemical addiction and behavior around it is the similar, no?
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Originally Posted by ZeldaFan
I can handle coffee in moderation but I can't take Excedrin. That stuff gives me major anxiety to the point of shaking. Something about it just does not agree with me. Maybe it's the way the caffeine in it is delivered to my body all at once.
People socialize around coffee like they do with drinking. I miss everything about coffee--the smell, the taste, the heat, but especially how it made me feel. Plus it was key to helping me have that false giddy energy to keep up my fake happy facade.
Thanks again to the OP for starting this thread.
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Originally Posted by FreeOwl
Day three of my efforts to wean off this drug. Yesterday I had only one (though a large strong redeye so probably upwards of 350mg caffeine).
Last night I was tired and irritable and had a slight edge of an incoming headache. This morning I've woken to a headache and feel a bit sick to my stomach. May have to take excedrin (which contains about 120mg caffeine) if it gets worse.
My guts are still overactive and I have been having mild bouts of sweats.
It's not terrible, but I can definitely feel the withdrawal. I have read it takes 1-2 weeks to work fully through the caffeine withdrawal process. Given how long and how consistently I've used daily caffeine I expect it will take at least that for my body to recalibrate.
Last night I was tired and irritable and had a slight edge of an incoming headache. This morning I've woken to a headache and feel a bit sick to my stomach. May have to take excedrin (which contains about 120mg caffeine) if it gets worse.
My guts are still overactive and I have been having mild bouts of sweats.
It's not terrible, but I can definitely feel the withdrawal. I have read it takes 1-2 weeks to work fully through the caffeine withdrawal process. Given how long and how consistently I've used daily caffeine I expect it will take at least that for my body to recalibrate.
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