hpdw

I'm sure this topic has been raised before ,iv'e certainly heard it asked in AA meetings but there was never a unanimous answer .
My questions : Are we predisposed genetically to become abnormal drinkers , is there some faulty gene ? , was there a set of traumatic circumstances or a specific individual traumatic event that set us off to become abnormal drinkers ?
Were we normal drinkers at one time but crossed the line to become abnormal drinkers .
I mainly raise this because my eldest son 32 goes over the score at times and it worries me he will end up like me at some point .

I loved drinking from the word go at about age 15 as it took away my shyness but I was in my late 30's before I realized I had a problem .

If this is the wrong area for this type of post feel free to move it .

FeelingGreat

My personal belief is that there's a genetic tendency towards addiction in some personalities. Whether the genes are expressed depends on upbringing, environment and opportunity.
My own story is that I always liked alcohol, but didn't develop a problem until I was in middle age because previously I hadn't had the opportunity or social setting. I've seen this story apply to many people my age who only became alcohol dependent after they'd raised their families.

doggonecarl

You could answer yes to all three questions. Which means there is no simple answer to alcoholism.

ubntubnt

I agree there is no simple answer. I know of not a single other case of alcolism in my extended family. Everyone is a moderate drinker. Except me. Since I first started aged 14 or 15 I hit it very hard and would drink to get drunk. I had no issues around shyness etc. I just loved drinking and getting blotto. That said I tend to be a very extreme person in life which has generally served me well, drinking aside.

MIRecovery

Personally I believe there is. In my case my mother and father did not drink alcoholicly when my brother and I were growing up but we are both alcoholics. It was in their latter years they drank alcoholicly and they eventually died of it. Also my grandmother was an alcoholic as was my grandfather.

That said it really does not make a difference. Knowing that i was genetically predisposed to alcoholism would not have stopped me from drinking. My niece knows the family history and displays multiple red flags in her drinking behavior but she is steadfast in her belief that becoming an alcoholic is not something she needs to be concerned with.

I'm not sure what alcoholism is or why I have it but there is no doubt I do. Then the only real question is what am I doing about it today and for the rest of my life

Shantilove

I really wonder about this also. I don't understand how at one point in life I had a strong tolerance for alcohol but only drank socially and was never causing problems in my life, and now I'm a mess. Was I always an alcoholic? I understand it's a progressive disease but still It's all very confusing.

Soberwolf

I think of the cucumber in a pickle jar soak it long enough it ain't a cucumber no more

Mountainmanbob

I think that there is an invisible line that alcoholics seem to cross over. My wife is a normal drinker today and has been for many, many years. But, she does talk occasionally about a time in her early life when she believes that she came close to being addicted. Seems that some escape before it's too late ?

I also started drinking and doing other unmoral things at the age of around 15. I thought that I would always want to drink and get high. I carried that thought throughout most of my life. Then after (a few horrific) bottoms I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I thank God that I was finally able to see the pain caused to myself and the ones around me due to my excessive drinking.

M-Bob

hpdw

When youv'e been through the alcoholic wringer and at some stage of sobriety you are more able to spot alcoholic traits in others . maybe i'm too tuned in and thinking fearfully where its not justified but I don't like the way one of my sons drinks . I also see many of my earlier drinking traits in my other sons girlfriend . I say nothing but really want to .


None of my parents or 5 siblings drunk alcoholically , only me ( as I wrote that last sentence I felt a wave of emotion a sort of why poor old me ) .

Well i,m sober today and when tomorrow comes I will begin another 24 hours of sobriety and continue like that until i'm 92 .

Zebra1275

There is not a simple answer to your question.

But for me it doesn't matter. There is a simple solution. I don't drink.

SoberLife90

Yeah I dont know the reasons behind my alcoholism, I just know I am an alcoholic and if I drink I am going to lose.

hpdw

I accept 100 percent that no matter how it happened I can never drink .

My long term plan is to live a more simple life to help my sobriety .

I have always been one for somehow getting too involved with things that shouldn't bother me .

Thank you all for kindly responding

nomis

I posted my thoughts on this before, and I know many have disagreed with them. I've tried to learn alot about the nature and science of addiction as part of my recovery. And much of that has led me to Gabor Mate, who Soberwolf posted a link about the other day.

For me, and that part I stress heavily, understanding why I'm an alcoholic has been tremendously helpful in my recovery. I've learned that I'm not a bad person, whose weak, immoral, lacking moral fibre, etc... Rather I'm an alcoholic because that's the way my mind adapted to the environment I was exposed to as a child.

Just to be clear, that' doesn't excuse the behaviour, at all. I have to own that, but by better understanding my illness, I feel like I have a better chance at doing the things I need to do to stay healthy.

So short answer, no I don't believe alcoholism is genetic. And this coming from a guy whose father whose was a drug addict/alcholic, whose sister is a recovering heroin addict, and who drank himself for 18 years.

beautifulpines

Lots of crying today - but my crying means I'm actually feeling something. Grateful I can come here. Thank you

hpdw

I research many things to do with how and why things are the way they are . Sometimes I find someones hypotheses and get a eureka moment . I especially researched mind - body and at one point decided my drinking was a symptom of an underlying emotional problem and if I could get to the root of it I would be a normal drinker . Nothing I ever tried made me a normal drinker and after 2 years sober I put it to the test and within a month was as bad as ever .

Cunning baffling and powerful .

PurpleKnight

It's hard to know, my dad was an alcoholic, my mum has been teetotal all her life.

I spiralled into alcoholism, and I have one sister who can drink moderately without any issues . . . so work that one out!!

I think there's a lot more to it than genetics, social and environmental factors are probably included in the equation somewhere as well.

But who knows . . . the reality is I can't drink moderatly ever again, and have taken the necessary steps to deal with that reality, as to my future kids? If we knew for certain the genetics what even could be done?

We can only beat what's in front of us on any given day!!

LiveInPeace

Have you read The Doctor's Opinion in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous? I think that might help you with your questions.

OpenTuning

The question gets even more confusing due to different definitions of alcoholism. Allen Carr suggests that everybody who drinks any alcohol at all is an alcoholic, and it's all just about what stage of the disease you are at. Some never reach a point where it damages their lives before they die from old age, others plummet straight to the bottom, but they all share the same disease. Crazy as that sounds on one level, it makes some sense. Alcohol is a poison. Deliberately taking a poison makes no rational sense. Therefore anyone who willingly chooses to poison themselves, even if not at a fatal dose, has to have a problem.

But of course that's not a very useful definition given around 80% of the population of the UK drinks. In which case, is being an alcoholic based purely on the number of units of alcohol you drink each week? What if you drink 50 units a week but hold down a great job, have a nice home, a lovely wife and kids, and nobody thinks you have a problem. Are you an alcoholic? What if you only drink 8 units a week, but when you do drink you get abusive and always get into fights. Are you an alcoholic then? If so, does that make it subjective? Can you have a genetic basis for a subjective disease?

A bit of a rambling reply, but I guess my point is that it's ultimately kind of irrelevant to me how and what alcoholism is. My rather simplistic view is that if your life, or the lives of the people around you, is being harmed by your use of alcohol, then you should stop.

Keepnitreal

Thomas-
I understand your worry about your son. Even before I drank "alcoholic ally" I warned him because his paternal grandmother is a recovered alcoholic and she would warn us all it was genetic. My parents didn't drink, and many of my siblings don't drink. I didn't much in my 20's-30's but made up for it the past 8-9 years!
Anyway, my son stopped drinking a few months ago on his own. He in fact mentioned that I should cut down about 6 months ago. I asked him last week if he stopped for good and he said he thought so. Maybe having those reminders that it is a genetic tendency somehow helped him. I hope so because I don't want him to be a stumbling or functioning drunk now or later!
I also have concerns about my other sons GF of 8 years because she has a lot of alcoholics in her family and I am seeing signs. She is still young and just finishing up law school, but I pray for her just the same.

KIR

hpdw

Open Tuning you said >My rather simplistic view is that if your life, or the lives of the people around you, is being harmed by your use of alcohol, then you should stop.
I could not agree more . For example my sister in law only needs 2 drinks to cause mayhem , I have never saw a transformation of personality within 20 minutes of 2 vodkas , so yes your right .

ALL > very interesting and wise responses .