Struggling With Depression
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Cleveland
Posts: 320
Struggling With Depression
Hey,
I haven't had a drink in over four months which is great, but I am really struggling with depression and anxiety. The depression is the worst. It takes a lot of effort to remind myself that I am just depressed when I have negative thoughts.
I was depressed before I stopped drinking so I didn't expect it to stop right away, but I am hoping that by not drinking and going to a therapist and having healthy habits that it will go away by itself. I really don't want to take any medication now that I am sober.
This is really frustrating but I am trying to remain hopeful since it hasn't been that long since I stopped drinking.
Thanks for listening. If you had a similar problem with depression once you stopped drinking please let me know. I would like to know how it went.
Thanks,
SoberInCLE
I haven't had a drink in over four months which is great, but I am really struggling with depression and anxiety. The depression is the worst. It takes a lot of effort to remind myself that I am just depressed when I have negative thoughts.
I was depressed before I stopped drinking so I didn't expect it to stop right away, but I am hoping that by not drinking and going to a therapist and having healthy habits that it will go away by itself. I really don't want to take any medication now that I am sober.
This is really frustrating but I am trying to remain hopeful since it hasn't been that long since I stopped drinking.
Thanks for listening. If you had a similar problem with depression once you stopped drinking please let me know. I would like to know how it went.
Thanks,
SoberInCLE
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Congratulations on your recovery of 4 months! I hope your depression will clear up soon.
I was depressed years before I began drinking. I had to get the depression treated before I could begin recovery so I do take medication.
I was depressed years before I began drinking. I had to get the depression treated before I could begin recovery so I do take medication.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,697
At almost 5 months and in the same boat.
Reading a book that says its normal to get more depressed when you stop using or masking your feelings with substances or other things.
I have tried to be more mindful and realistic.
I feel it and think and move on. Nothing in my life is threatening or shattering. Its the amount of pressure i put on myself.
I also use medication for depression and anxiety.
Exercise, meditation and doing things help. If you sit, think and ruminate things get worse.
When you have a negative or unreleastic thought move on.
I hope you feel better. Its rough but ride the wave and it will go away.
See a doctor. Talk things out and journal them out also.
Reading a book that says its normal to get more depressed when you stop using or masking your feelings with substances or other things.
I have tried to be more mindful and realistic.
I feel it and think and move on. Nothing in my life is threatening or shattering. Its the amount of pressure i put on myself.
I also use medication for depression and anxiety.
Exercise, meditation and doing things help. If you sit, think and ruminate things get worse.
When you have a negative or unreleastic thought move on.
I hope you feel better. Its rough but ride the wave and it will go away.
See a doctor. Talk things out and journal them out also.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Southern Oregon U.S.
Posts: 1,023
I definitely got my lowest after getting sober. For me it took a year before I slowly started feeling better. It was tough but I stuck with it. A year sounds like a really long time but I'm doing much better and you will to. It could happen much sooner for you, but for me it was about a year that I started trending back up. These rough patches can stand as good reminders as to why we don't want to drink again. Keep up the good work!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Yes - I did.
I struggled through the first month sober on my own, slowly thinking I was going mad. Then I bit the bullet, and started going to AA meetings, which helped make things better for a while. I didn't get a sponsor or work the steps because (a) I thought I wasn't THAT much of an alcoholic (hahahaha) and (b) when I looked through the list, the concept of most of them seemed either alien to me, or would be impossible for me to carry through (c) I didn't want to put anyone put by asking them for help / to be my sponsor
I then moved somewhere where there was only one meeting a week, which I went to and continued without a sponsor. The novelty of settling into a new city worked wonders for a month or so (and also I was still visiting my old city for extra meetings and to see old friends). But then the depression really swelled up again - people talked about waves of depression and I remember feeling like mine was a tsunami. Finally I felt all washed up and I ended up getting close to breaking point. My boss noticed I was struggling and referred me for counselling. This helped a little bit - but I noticed that I was going there and still unable to be honest with her. I just sat there each week building on a little web of deceit. Suddenly it clicked that I needed to actually do this recovery work. And I finally felt desperate enough to push my will aside and humble myself to ask someone (someone who had what I wanted - humility; dignity; strength; serenity; resilience) for help and to be my sponsor, and listen and learn from her. I also decided to travel to some other meetings as well as the weekly local one. This has had the bonus of developing a wonderful friendship with the lady I travel there with (who has the same sponsor as me, so I think of her as my AA sister).
That was just over a year ago. I am slowly working through the steps. I pray / meditate daily as per my sponsors instructions. I try to apply the recovery program to my daily life; the choices I make; and my interactions with others. It's been like a walk in the mountains. Mostly it's just keeping on going and sometimes it feels a bit like hard work, but mostly it's been exhilarating, and every so often I've reached a 'wow' point that makes me stop and take a good look at life from that new and beautiful perspective. All the promised have come, or are starting to come true - which I never really expected could happen to me.
THE A.A. PROMISES
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and selfpity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
I hope you find something that rescues you from your own personal tsunami soon. Wishing you recovery; peace; serenity and joy.
I struggled through the first month sober on my own, slowly thinking I was going mad. Then I bit the bullet, and started going to AA meetings, which helped make things better for a while. I didn't get a sponsor or work the steps because (a) I thought I wasn't THAT much of an alcoholic (hahahaha) and (b) when I looked through the list, the concept of most of them seemed either alien to me, or would be impossible for me to carry through (c) I didn't want to put anyone put by asking them for help / to be my sponsor
I then moved somewhere where there was only one meeting a week, which I went to and continued without a sponsor. The novelty of settling into a new city worked wonders for a month or so (and also I was still visiting my old city for extra meetings and to see old friends). But then the depression really swelled up again - people talked about waves of depression and I remember feeling like mine was a tsunami. Finally I felt all washed up and I ended up getting close to breaking point. My boss noticed I was struggling and referred me for counselling. This helped a little bit - but I noticed that I was going there and still unable to be honest with her. I just sat there each week building on a little web of deceit. Suddenly it clicked that I needed to actually do this recovery work. And I finally felt desperate enough to push my will aside and humble myself to ask someone (someone who had what I wanted - humility; dignity; strength; serenity; resilience) for help and to be my sponsor, and listen and learn from her. I also decided to travel to some other meetings as well as the weekly local one. This has had the bonus of developing a wonderful friendship with the lady I travel there with (who has the same sponsor as me, so I think of her as my AA sister).
That was just over a year ago. I am slowly working through the steps. I pray / meditate daily as per my sponsors instructions. I try to apply the recovery program to my daily life; the choices I make; and my interactions with others. It's been like a walk in the mountains. Mostly it's just keeping on going and sometimes it feels a bit like hard work, but mostly it's been exhilarating, and every so often I've reached a 'wow' point that makes me stop and take a good look at life from that new and beautiful perspective. All the promised have come, or are starting to come true - which I never really expected could happen to me.
THE A.A. PROMISES
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and selfpity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
I hope you find something that rescues you from your own personal tsunami soon. Wishing you recovery; peace; serenity and joy.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 226
I'm still battling but every time I hold out I get stronger. For me the depression was awfull. It was so hard to be strong and hold out. While at the same time not able to sleep because of all the negative feelings. It was like the opposite of a nightmare. I could fall asleep and find peace but I would wake up at all hours of the night. When I woke up I wasn't groggy and tired. It was wide awake with the same horrible feelings as when I tried to go to sleep. I would lay there with my guts in knots wishing it would go away. But with time it got better.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 302
I have never been diagnosed but I have dealt with depressive mood, especially after quitting. Through different reading I have read that depression and anxiety go hand in hand.
What has really helped me is to work out. I find cardio to really help with my mood. Lifting weights can also help but I find better results with the cardio. Running is my favorite, but I also do a sequence of burpees when the weather doesn't permit me to run. Basically any form of cardio that gets me sweating and gets my heart pumping.
Isolation is very easy to do when I'm not feeling good but it doesn't make the matter any better for me. If you have someone to talk with in person such as family or close friends, I really recommend it. I do understand how hard it is to talk with people when feeling down so I understand it is not easy.
I notice that it gets better for me as my sober time adds up, but that is just me. If the depression is really bad please see a doctor as suggested above.
What has really helped me is to work out. I find cardio to really help with my mood. Lifting weights can also help but I find better results with the cardio. Running is my favorite, but I also do a sequence of burpees when the weather doesn't permit me to run. Basically any form of cardio that gets me sweating and gets my heart pumping.
Isolation is very easy to do when I'm not feeling good but it doesn't make the matter any better for me. If you have someone to talk with in person such as family or close friends, I really recommend it. I do understand how hard it is to talk with people when feeling down so I understand it is not easy.
I notice that it gets better for me as my sober time adds up, but that is just me. If the depression is really bad please see a doctor as suggested above.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: St.Petersburg, FL.
Posts: 1,077
I have suffered with depression throughout my life and self-medicated with alcohol, which of course just made matters worse. Now that I have six months of sobriety I am working with my psychiatrist in finding the right medications. I take trazodone to sleep which helps a lot since I have problems with insomnia as well. I do feel less depressed since I've stopped drinking , though. It is very different seeing my life through a sober prism.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,010
Thanks for starting this thread SoberIncle. I'm a depressive and can relate to a lot of what is being said here. I concur with the exercise recommendation although I struggle to do it. Antidepressants have helped me but I know don't work for everyone.
I've heard of folks doing acupuncture to help depression so this might be worth a shot.
I've heard of folks doing acupuncture to help depression so this might be worth a shot.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a long time before I started drinking. The drinking was my short term solution to the despair I felt. Of course, that just made things worse. 
I take meds for both and see a shrink regularly. It helps.
I take meds for both and see a shrink regularly. It helps.
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