thomas11

Long post warning. I am posting this simply to share what's rattling around in my brain. As some of you know, the last 6-7 months of my life have been eventful to say the least. Some bad, but mostly good. Its been painful both physically and mentally, and things have happened. On the 4th of July my wife and my mother got into an argument that was bad. They haven't spoken since. My mom had been drinking. There is good that came from that, today we are hosting our first Thanksgiving instead of being guests. We are excited and working as a team. It will be a pretty standard menu, a lot of work, but still excited. We also won't be spending the Holidays with them either. We are going to California and then to Mexico. We are renting an Oceanside villa for 4 days and 3 nights. I'm REALLY excited about that. Its not in a touristy town either, its some out of the way place where the food is caught daily by the local fishermen. Its going to be neat. The villa is gorgeous. 3 bedroom, 2 bath, full kitchen, living room with deck overlooking the ocean. Well, last night my Mom (again, was drinking) finally cracked, and called me last night crying and how bad she felt that she's not going to have family around this year for Holidays. I feel bad, but what she did on the 4th of July was extremely inappropriate. So, hopefully lesson learned for her. She still refuses to apologize. Its an old fashioned Mexican stand-off.

As far as myself, my physical health is doing very well. I plan to start walking on a treadmill starting December 1st. My knees feel really good. I am steadily decreasing my pain medication (oxycodone) and have totally quit taking Valium. I have not been drunk since May, I have admitted that on two occasions I sat down to drink, and it didn't "work". Poured it out, and it has stayed that way. Feel good about that.
Last but not least, I last worked the week of October 23rd. I have enjoyed the downtime, but if this week was any indication, when the Holidays are over, I need to get back to work. I got bored, and I got crabby. So I've reached out to a guy I've known for awhile who runs a successful business coaching/consulting business. In fact, his son worked for me. He was a senior executive for a software company and made a fortune, so he is now teaching his skills to others. We are going to meet and he is going to perform two functions for me. One is to build my resume and two, he is going to be a headhunter and hopefully find me a job. He gets a pretty hefty fee if he finds me a quality position. I don't want to sound arrogant or shallow, but with my education, corporate experience and 12 years of building a company from the ground up, I feel I am qualified to do more than be a cashier at a gas station (although I would not hesitate to do so, if I had to and do NOT pass judgement). So anyway, that's kind of been what's going on below the surface. Maybe sharing it can help someone--somewhere. jeff.

biminiblue

Your journey has been a pleasure to watch.

I am certain you will land on your feet (as soon as your knees allow.)

The trip to the sun sounds wonderful, so does your TDay without drama.

2ndhandrose

Ditto!

entropy1964

That has to be a wicked spot to be in, between wife and Mom. I hope your Mom realizes at some point that apologizing is not weak but strong.

I love Mexico. Been there more times than I know (actually worked in Guadalajara for about 4 months) but haven't been back for quite a while. Have a fun and safe trip.

Oh and I'm leaving for Hawaii on the 2nd!!!!!! I am so excited....

Anna

Thomas, I think it's good that you are distancing yourselves from your mother, at least for the time being. Enjoy your Thanksgiving dinner.

I wish you well on your job search.

Soberwolf

Keep up your good work Jeff

Ultramarathoner

Seems like things are going well for you Jeff.

Quick point. Headhunters are typically paid by the company trying to fill a position rather than the candidate

Saskia

I've been following your journey, Jeff and "ya done good"!

wpainterw

Hi Jeff. Do have a good time over in California and I hope the weather's good for that! Sounds like you're making real progress. If you stay sober in a year or two or maybe even sooner, you will look back on all this and feel so relieved to be free of alcohol. I found that I could not drink moderately, have "one or two glasses of wine, etc." It never worked and I was such a slow learner. The illness is progressive and time finally caught up with me. But with help from others I made it back. Have had three heart and two prostate operations. I don't expect to live long at my age but I'm so glad I finally got a handle on my health issues. Good luck to you and every good wish. Try tomato juice with lots of Tobasco and, when the weather gets hot Tonic Water with a twist of lime. No alcohol free beer-too many associations-Pavlov's dog and all that.

Bill

swindon32

Fab story! Best of luck on your hols, have a great time

Soberish

Oh I know how stubborn us Mexicans can be lol. Hopefully she'll come around to giving an apology, sometimes it just takes time.

Your vacation sounds really great and glad to hear you'll be able to get some exercise starting this December. Your life seems to have a good amount of positives reflecting on some of your decisions to better your life this year.

Hosting Thanksgiving sounds fun. I hope you and your wife have an excellent holiday!

Notimetoloose

Great job on the meds and alcohol...

..Be careful; getting to the point where you are sitting down with a drink.
One day the energy needed to not take a sip might not be there.
If possible come here and post before it gets to that point.

Your holiday sounds amazing. Have a wonderful time.

I am sorry about your mum and wife; I hope in the future it can be resolved with everyone okay.

thomas11

Congrats on your trip Hawaii, I'd love to get there someday. I've never been to Mexico, so I'm going with my eyes wide open. Regarding my wife and mother....yes, wickedis a very appropriate word, and I'm stuck smack in the middle.

thomas11

Thanks Anna, I agree that distance is necessary at the moment.

thomas11

Thanks Ultra, that is my understanding as well. I'm hoping for the best, but ya know, I could be dreaming that someone is actually going to hire me. After all, I was just a contractor, not some high level whiz kid.

thomas11

Saskia, thanks for talking to me in the kind of language I understand. My favorite teacher/coach in high school used to tell me when I did something positive "ya done good!" Funny.

thomas11

I hope so Bill, you are such an inspiration to me. Will heed your advice. Jeff

thomas11

I know I need to stay vigilant. I will say that from time to time I reflect on the hellhole I was in. All I have to do is go back and read some of my posts from 6-8 months ago. What an immature a-hole I was. Even my knees didn't hurt as bad as I was hurting from the alcohol.