Timeforchange18

So I woke up this morning with a sinus infection. I feel horrible and all I want to do is crawl back into bed but my wife won't let me. She has plans and that's more important I guess. Am I wrong to be really upset right now? I know if she was not feeling well I would cancel all my plans and stay home with the kids and let her crawl back into bed. Sorry for my little rant. Just not happy. Really missing the chat room as well.

GoesWithTheFlow

Unfortunantly women always have plans for us. I was sick not to long ago and my gf (of about 14 yrs) was lets go here and here. I came back slept but ended up worse the rest of the week. Sometimes we just got to put our foot down and say no!... But that really doesn't work does it.. I don't know why we let ourselves get bullied so much.

Hypernova

No advice on the wife (still trying to figure mine out after 30 years) but I do hope you feel better soon, sinus infections suck!

Dee74

Hi timeforchange

Every time I have expectations (I would do this for you why won;'t you do this for me) I get resentments, and justified or not, resentments are bad for me.

I don't really have a solution for you other than communication between equals - women aren't really a different species in my experience

For what it's worth...lying in bed all day just makes me feel worse with sinus - I'd much rather get up and out there.

Hope you feel better soon
D

chardis

Hi time,

I feel you should have put your foot down and asserted yourself.
There's only so much one can do, especially with children to look after.
Sorry if that sounds harsh.

At this point, your needs come first.

FreeOwl

hmm.... this kind of sounds like the rant of a teenager.

Listen - if you truly feel that you are too sick to tend to things today, then listen to your body and give it what it needs.

Tell your wife, with respect and kindness, that you need to honor your own needs.

If you feel that your wife and kids need to take priority and you need to suck it up, then suck it up and do it.

Your wife isn't your mother.

That said - sometimes as husbands and fathers we make sacrifices for our family.

The choice is yours - not your wife's - to make.

By putting this on your wife and making yourself the victim, you honor neither yourself nor her.

You're not a victim.

chardis

You're very caring.
I wasn't so caring with my attitude in my post.
I apologise for that.
Could i re-phrase it.

Taking care of yourself is number one priority. Asserting yourself, distancing yourself and being okay with it. You might have been taking on too much.

ZeldaFan

As someone who has been single for six years now, I have no advice here but I do hope you feel better soon. I just got over a sinus infection that stuck around for a few weeks. I took a week off work and just decompressed mentally and physically. Had someone been around making me do things, I would have been upset as well.

Soberwolf

What D said 5000%

Sorry your not feeling well have you tried a steam face bath that really helps & the chinese swear by a hot cup of boiled water in the morning

get well soon

red3215

I don't think it's a just a female thing. My ex-husband was pushy and and made it very hard because saying "no" can get you punished later. It's just not always that simple.
Say No and if all hell breaks loose than you've got a bigger problem than not being able to stay in bed.

Mountainmanbob

Yes, I agree. Seems to be a lifetime project which we are blessed to have.

MB

sugarbear1

"I know if she was not feeling well I would cancel all my plans and stay home with the kids and let her crawl back into bed."

When is the last time this happened? just curious.

I hope you feel better! Can you call a doctor and get an antibiotic? These can be contagious.

Cleomie

Try a neddy pot to flush out the sinuses

OpenTuning

Wow, just wow. That's really made me think about how I've dealt with similar situations. Which has often been badly. You're right. The worst option is to go along with what I feel is the wrong choice, and then complain about it. As an adult I need to just make my own decision and take responsibility for it. One way or the other.

Thank you.