jojo

A success story can mean different things to different people. We all start out hoping that the A in our lives will find the miracle that we all hope for. Success means that they quit drinking/drugging and we live happily ever after. As time goes on and the disease escalates our definition of success often changes. Some are able to find peace in their lives and continue to live with the alcoholic. Some cannot do that for a variety of reasons.

My story is one of success but not in the way that I would have hoped and dreamed. I successfully left my husband after his addiction completely took over his life. I couldn't let it continue to destroy mine. I left and moved to a new state and lived with my daughter and her family for several months and have just moved into my own place.

I feel very peaceful. I am thrilled to be on my own. I listen to alot of people worry about being alone or lonely and have a hard time understanding that. I really enjoy my own company and how could anyone miss the overwhelming stress and trauma of living with an alcoholic?

My husband went to jail for a month, got out and almost drank himself to death, went to detox, went into residential treatment for 6 weeks, is now living in a halfway house, got a job and seems to be doing very well. For now, that is his success story. One day at a time.

I left a few days after he was arrested for assault. The assault was on me. First time but also the last time. I could no longer take the chance of continuing to live with this man even though I loved him. I felt that my life had more value than that. So I consider my story to be a success story. Certainly not the life I would have chosen for myself but your life is what you make it. I have a chance to build a new life and I choose to make it a happy one.

My AH has that same chance for a happy life and he is working hard toward achieving that. I give him alot of credit for working hard and I pray daily that he makes it. He calls me a couple of times a week and we talk and I see the progress that he is making and am very happy for him but I don't belong with him anymore. I would be too fearful of him relapsing and going down that road again. I truly wish him nothing but the best but my success has to be based on what I do with the rest of my life.

I hope that all of you find your own success story. Our hopes and dreams and goals change throughout our lives. It is hard to give up on some of the old dreams but sometimes it is necessary so that we can live better lives. Change comes hard to most but change is always easier if we have a new dream or a new plan - something to work towards.

Hugs, Jo

paula a.

(((((Jo)))))
You're an inspiration, thanks Jo.
Paula

Gabe

I agree with Paula.
Jo, your recovery is amazing.
Thanks for sharing it with us.
Hugs,
Gabe

bikewench

Jojo...

Great post... very positive.

Causes me to ask myself..... What would my success story be?

I'm gonna think on that for a bit... never looked at it in those terms before...

I was also zinged at my meeting last night. A man from out of town blessed us with his presence and we got talking about codependancy and it's effect on our lives...

He shared that one time... he was lamenting his lack of peace in his life even though he had given up so much bad behavior. Then someone had asked him... "yeah... but what aren't you willing to give up?

When he said that... I actually felt something let go inside me. Five things came to mind that I use to give me a lift... and although they aren't hardcore... I am still dependant on them. Two of them are men.

I have a whole new perspective this morning. (It'll probably last till noon... lol)
It's like the doors in the sand in Stephen Kings Dark Tower Trilogy...
You see them fine one way...but look from a different angle ... and they disappear.

I also read a few days ago about Bill W and his ongoing stuggle with depression and
lack of serenity in his life. In the end... what he realized for himself was that as long as he was dependant on anything... he would always be giving his wellness away.

So.. today... recovery is more to me than just giving up the booze or the coke... or the food.. or the sex...

It's about being dependant on anything... other than God.

Sandy Marie

Jo,
You've come a long way and I imagine it hasn't been easy, but, like you said, you did it on your own terms. You're an inspiration in that you're making something positive out of something that would have sent some into a permanent downward spiral. I admire you for that. Change is a hard thing to manage, especially as we age. It's so important to challenge ourselves everyday to something new. Thank you for keeping me on track. Hope to see your posts again soon.
Prayers,
Sandy

Magichappens

((Jo))
I know how much you struggled and fought for this success. You deserve to be proud and happy with yourself. You are a strong and courageous woman. Thanks for sharing your story and your serenity with us. Hugs, Magic