The Doldrums
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
The Doldrums
I'm in that period of sobriety where the novelty has worn off and the long term benefits aren't all there yet. I'm 53 days sober. I also suffer from depression which isn't helping. But I'm not as excited as I was with some of the changes I've made in my life. Exercise and walks were something I looked forward to. Now they are feeling more like a chore. Even coming on SR is not the same.
I'm guessing this is just life and it's up to me too find gratitude and enjoyment of the little things in life. Does anyone have any comments and suggestions for this phase of sobriety?
I'm guessing this is just life and it's up to me too find gratitude and enjoyment of the little things in life. Does anyone have any comments and suggestions for this phase of sobriety?
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,825
As to the 'how to' kind of advice I'm at loss, but I think that's a unviersal condition, not having the specific advice, how to be happy or comfortable with 'life on life's term' , I'm not of a mind that it is unique to recovery , it's a human 'thing'.
Googling around last night(serendipity?) I was steered to a video of David Foster Wallace's commencement speech at Kenyon College titled"This is Water" . Check it out, he really has some interesting things to say, especially on the 'doldrums' of life's terms and how to keep perspective.
Keep truckin, you got this
Googling around last night(serendipity?) I was steered to a video of David Foster Wallace's commencement speech at Kenyon College titled"This is Water" . Check it out, he really has some interesting things to say, especially on the 'doldrums' of life's terms and how to keep perspective.
Keep truckin, you got this
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Jd
Yeah, normal. I'm so used to 'changing' my surroundings with something or someone that just kind of being is not a normal state for me. And I've always understood chaos far better than calm. In a way I'm always peeking around the corner wondering when chaos will arrive. This type of thing usually resolves pretty quickly and when it does you'll look back and think 'what was that all about?'. There are obvious external 'things' you can do to distract you, get a new exercise program, research health related stuff that you want to add to your life (a new way of eating or meditation etc), new hobby. But I think you know all that's external...helpful but a band-aide. Maybe plan a trip, even if its a ways out....something to look forward to. Beyond that, hang in there. It will pass. If there is something emotional going on maybe think on it and talk here or to a friend.
Yeah, normal. I'm so used to 'changing' my surroundings with something or someone that just kind of being is not a normal state for me. And I've always understood chaos far better than calm. In a way I'm always peeking around the corner wondering when chaos will arrive. This type of thing usually resolves pretty quickly and when it does you'll look back and think 'what was that all about?'. There are obvious external 'things' you can do to distract you, get a new exercise program, research health related stuff that you want to add to your life (a new way of eating or meditation etc), new hobby. But I think you know all that's external...helpful but a band-aide. Maybe plan a trip, even if its a ways out....something to look forward to. Beyond that, hang in there. It will pass. If there is something emotional going on maybe think on it and talk here or to a friend.
Didn't David Foster Wallace commit suicide? It doesn't take away from his genius, just that I imagine his doldrums must have been far deeper than the regular existential angst most of us feel from time to time.
It is for certain that none of us get out alive. If this life is all there is, I suppose it should be viewed with gratitude and humility. That's what I strive for, anyway.
It is for certain that none of us get out alive. If this life is all there is, I suppose it should be viewed with gratitude and humility. That's what I strive for, anyway.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,825
I really liked the premise of that speech and his ideas on perspective.I'm at least wiki familiar with his history , not coincidentally I'm sure, with the release of the current movie about him . Google has a way of finer tuning our 'perspectives' in an eerie way, ya know ?
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Hi jd, there are things that help like good diet, rest, exercise, but there's times I just had to ride it out. I know how you feel and it did get better but for me it took a while. Keep cruisin', you'll get past it:-)
It's a phase. It's won't suddenly disappear some day, but some day you may just notice it's not as bad or it's been a while.
I still get this way at 152 days, but it's not as bad. I have always been a little moody. Lately it's been a little brain fog and the November "blech" mood that's starting to set it. I'm not a big fan of winter and it's cloudy here a lot, so the weather gets me down. That too passes.
I dunno. Just my 2 cents.
I still get this way at 152 days, but it's not as bad. I have always been a little moody. Lately it's been a little brain fog and the November "blech" mood that's starting to set it. I'm not a big fan of winter and it's cloudy here a lot, so the weather gets me down. That too passes.
I dunno. Just my 2 cents.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Thanks everyone for responding. The depression has lifted today and I'm in a much better space. I guess I just need to ride out the emotions and this is just life. I find it kind of interesting experiencing emotions again and not just drowning them with alcohol. Kind of interesting because all those emotions don't always feel good but never the less this is just life. And life sometimes has sucky parts.
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