letitgo

Can i do the steps on my own or do I need a sponsor?

MIRecovery

I could not have done the steps without a sponsor. I needed the guidance of someone other than myself

sugarbear1

I found it most beneficial to work with a sponsor. We naturally isolate and seem to be introverted, but working with another who has already worked through those steps really makes a difference.

page58

Consider working with a sponsor - finding one is not that difficult - I suggest listening to people at meetings and if you get a sense that someone "has something you want/need" and feel a sense of inspiration, simply go up to that person and say hello. The process will take care of itself from that point

I needed someone to talk with daily about what was going on inside me - when i came to the rooms i was deeply scared, confused, not knowing what questions to ask, bewildered - I needed someone who would listen and be able to relate to my experience - and explain in depth how he had been there, and how he evolved.

I think if you simply start having conversation with folks you feel you can relate to, the answer to your question will become apparent, and you will be releived that it's not necessary to do this alone

Be well

john

Riverbird

If it was something you could do on your own you probably wouldn't have made it to AA to begin with. The words in the book really do need to be "translated" by someone who has been there. They seem to make sense, but there's really so much more there when you hear it in terms of someone else's experience.

I just recently ran in to a friend who has been sober for a few years. She said she'd decided to do it on her own because she hadn't liked working with sponsors. She said she was doing fine, but frankly she sounded miserable. She reminded me of how I was when I first started doing the steps....blaming everyone else for my problems, listing excuse after excuse of why I couldn't be happy, etc. I needed a sponsor to get me out of that.

If you don't like the idea of a sponsor, I've heard of groups doing the steps together. It's not meant to be done alone though. It's a we program.

Gottalife

Yes it is possible but to do them fully you will need to become a sponsor. One of the things a sponsor should teach is how to be a sponsor, though you can get directions from "Working With Others" in the Big Book.

AA in my country was founded in just such circumstances. The founder worked for two years on the steps and trying to help others before he finally found someone to form the first group with. He had help from both the medical and religious professions by the way.

It can be done up to a point, but if you leave out working with others you might be wasting your time. It is much easier to have someone who has travelled the path before you.

letitgo

Someone mentioned a spiritual sponsor and a an AA sponsor? Is it hard to find someone that does both or better to have two seperate advisors. Reason i am am asking is because i have been all over the place in recovery and i think its time for some perspective and to work the steps.

letitgo

I havent found a sponsor because i havent really gotten to know anyone. I dont just want to use a random stranger. I guess i will just trust the higher power that i will find my sponsor when the time is right.

aasharon90

Going to step meetings and Big Book
Studies can guide folks in learning how
to work those steps to incorporate them
in all areas of our lives.

Learning them helps us live them on
a daily bases.

Sponsors or someone you trust, someone
who understands addiction, understands
the process of living a sober or clean life,
someone who shows care, understanding,
is your choice.

Having them nearby, close at hand, a
phone call away so that we never have
to go thru anything in life alone again
or figure out anything by ourselves.

I sat in a many many meetings with my
step book and big book, highlighter,
openminded, willing, listening, absorbing,
learning how to apply what I heard and
read in my own recovery life.

Just like going to school to learn
and better ourselves for what lies
ahead of us in our everyday lives.

Berrybean

Could you ask someone to be a temporary sponsor (for up to a set period of time so that the boundaries are clear). That way you can get started on the step work, and then once you've got to know people a bit better ask someone to be your long-term sponsor (either your temp sponsor if that's going well, or someone else if you have formed a preference by then).

Dave42001

Keep going to meetings, the right sponsor will happen.. Wishing you the best!

Gottalife

This is a really good point to raise. As AA is a spiritual program it follows that all sponsors ought to be spiritual sponsors.

My sponsor was like that. He saw his sole job as using the twelve steps to help me get connected to a power greater than myself that would solve my problem. He was under no illusions about his own power to keep me sober.

He was a great listener, he helped me unravel the tangles I got my self in by asking me questions, like he loaned me his reasoning power when I could not think for my self. He taught me how to think, not what to think, and he knew when to step back and let me make my mistakes.

He never once told me how to live my life, what relationship to have or not have, what job to have, what friends to have, or what I should do about anything. He simply taught and practiced the 12 steps, and set a great example of selflessness.

Johno1967

I've used the 12 steps to foster the spiritual outlook and mental attitude needed to keep sober and grow and I continue to use them as I step 3, 10 and 11 everyday. I've not really been an AA person though and only been to a few meetings. However, I've managed to keep sober without a sponsor but have to admit it would be nice to speak to someone who is on the journey and get advise from them. I don't get lonely often and "golden key" it if I do.
To be honest I'm not even sure that sponsorship is common in the Australian AA community. I've never heard it mentioned in the meetings I've been to. Maybe someone who is from Australia here can share their experiences as a sponsor or working with a sponsor.

Familyhelper151

I would get a sponsor, it is a primary resource that is there to help you in your recovery.

Especially, one that knows where you been, it is easily to relate!!