Assertiveness
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Assertiveness
Man, I've struggled being assertive all my life. In the past I've just stuffed it down with alcohol hoping things just go away. And I've done that for many, many years. Obviously that didn't work. But now that I'm sober it's one of the things I'm working on. But boy is it hard and filled with anxiety. Mostly its being assertive in my personal and work life. I'm not really looking for any answers, just want to get it out there. I know, baby steps, but I have a big issue at work I need to address right now.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Somewhere in California
Posts: 1,136
With alcohol, it's so easy to "drink at" a person or situation and let it go- without dealing with the issue. The resentment stays, though and has lasting effect.
I would imagine many of us struggle with this issue, particularly if we're introverts. It was always easier to drink away a problem rather than work through it to resolution.
After I quit drinking, it was like I "woke up" and began to see patterns that emerged during my drinking days. This issue was a big part of the pattern.
I would imagine many of us struggle with this issue, particularly if we're introverts. It was always easier to drink away a problem rather than work through it to resolution.
After I quit drinking, it was like I "woke up" and began to see patterns that emerged during my drinking days. This issue was a big part of the pattern.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Big issue of mine too. And I'm also am introvert. Thanks for the input. I'm giving myself 15 minutes and then I'm going to have to address the issue with an individual at work.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Ok, an update. As I intellectually knew the thinking and worrying about it is worse than the doing. I had the discussion and it went well. However, I'm not convinced this individual is going to work out long term and I'm going to have to do something about that. There are a lot of important projects riding on this position and it's not going to be easy to fix and pretty disruptive too.
Thanks everyone! You all helped me to have some additional accountability.
Thanks everyone! You all helped me to have some additional accountability.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Yup. I understand completely. And in order for me to be assertive in a sensitive and diplomatic fashion I have to understand my needs, values and boundaries. That's been a big challenge for me. As a codie my needs tend to be everyone else's needs....and their sense of me, is my sense of me. So I have a hard time knowing where they end and I start. I'm working on it. But I am committed to understand myself better so that when I start to lose myself I can put up the stop sign and ask for what I need. That will be something.....
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