Tell me I'm not the only one?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 1
Tell me I'm not the only one?
My name is Emily,
I am not new to beginning recovery but I just can't seem to make relationships in 12 step meetings that help me stay sober, and rejuvenate my soul. I feel like everyone I've met already has "enough friends," I feel like the meetings i go to are really clicky and I feel like I am on this journey alone. I work in healthcare by day and I am an artist by night and I am desperately trying to find others with a dual diagnosis of depression that was there way before the addiction ( for me, drinking.) I feel like my life is passing me by and I haven't been brave enough. Thanks for letting me share. ❤️ and peace to all.
Emily
I am not new to beginning recovery but I just can't seem to make relationships in 12 step meetings that help me stay sober, and rejuvenate my soul. I feel like everyone I've met already has "enough friends," I feel like the meetings i go to are really clicky and I feel like I am on this journey alone. I work in healthcare by day and I am an artist by night and I am desperately trying to find others with a dual diagnosis of depression that was there way before the addiction ( for me, drinking.) I feel like my life is passing me by and I haven't been brave enough. Thanks for letting me share. ❤️ and peace to all.
Emily
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome to SR, illuminateme.
I don't use AA but many people here do and they will be along soon.
You will definitely find the commonality of dual diagnosis here, also. People speak of it.
The support, understanding and encouragement of the members here is superb.
Again, welcome.
I don't use AA but many people here do and they will be along soon.
You will definitely find the commonality of dual diagnosis here, also. People speak of it.
The support, understanding and encouragement of the members here is superb.
Again, welcome.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Hi and welcome, Emily 
You are not alone. I felt very much the same in those meetings many times. I also have a day job while being a writer on my own time. And I very much relate to the feelings of not being brave enough at times (though I doubt we as artists are anything less than brave! tbh). I also struggle with depression , and am currently in the depths of it.
This is a great forum and great bunch of people in recovery. I hope you will hang around, do some reading, posting, and find some friends here
You are not alone. I felt very much the same in those meetings many times. I also have a day job while being a writer on my own time. And I very much relate to the feelings of not being brave enough at times (though I doubt we as artists are anything less than brave! tbh). I also struggle with depression , and am currently in the depths of it.
This is a great forum and great bunch of people in recovery. I hope you will hang around, do some reading, posting, and find some friends here
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Cleveland
Posts: 320
You are definitely brave if you are coping with depression and in recovery.
I think not drinking gives us the only chance to deal meaningfully with our feelings of depression and create truly positive thoughts.
I recommend the book Reinventing Your Life. Written by two therapists, they talk about some of their patients who constantly felt alone. You may find some answers in there.
You have all my respect for tackling these two difficult problems.
I think not drinking gives us the only chance to deal meaningfully with our feelings of depression and create truly positive thoughts.
I recommend the book Reinventing Your Life. Written by two therapists, they talk about some of their patients who constantly felt alone. You may find some answers in there.
You have all my respect for tackling these two difficult problems.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Healthcare by day and artist by night...two things that require a certain amount of giving and passion by their nature. You might be feeling 'sapped' from all that. Well, the healthcare field is a science as well as an art at times. It requires folks to put forth a lot of their self just to do it well and right and good. The comments and advice given here is great! As far as connecting with people and making friends in meetings...that's kind of tough...and not sure what the answer is, but hopefully they do encourage you to stay sober and that's a good thing. For me, the meetings are not there so I can make friends, but there to help me on my path of sobriety. I hope that is happening for you...good luck, friend!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
I felt the same way when I first started going to AA meetings. Once I hit the 1 1/2 year mark, I started to feel like I was falling into the fold. In the beginning I felt like other women weren't very warm towards me, but now I'm developing some pretty solid friendships. I think it might be that way because they see so many come in and out of AA that in the beginning they assume you are going to be one of those who goes to a few meetings and then disappears. Also, after a lot of trial and error, I found the meetings that suit me best for my recovery. Finally, once I moderated a particular women's meeting for a month, everyone began to know me and know my name and those very same women are now very welcoming and comforting to me.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi and Welcome,
For me, the depression began in my teenage years and I struggled with it for decades before I began self-medicating with alcohol. I don't use AA and the best friends I made in recovery were in a volunteer position that I had. That's a great way to meet people.
For me, the depression began in my teenage years and I struggled with it for decades before I began self-medicating with alcohol. I don't use AA and the best friends I made in recovery were in a volunteer position that I had. That's a great way to meet people.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Northern California
Posts: 36
Hey Emily,
I too struggle with AA due to my social awkwardness. I want to get a sponsor, but I can see it's going to take some time making connections first. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, I'm out of options. I have to make AA & my recovery work. I need to re-invent myself after my divorce with alcohol and I need to gain some social skills to benefit from AA. It isn't easy, but as the cliche goes, nothing worthwhile is ever easy.
I wish you well.
I too struggle with AA due to my social awkwardness. I want to get a sponsor, but I can see it's going to take some time making connections first. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, I'm out of options. I have to make AA & my recovery work. I need to re-invent myself after my divorce with alcohol and I need to gain some social skills to benefit from AA. It isn't easy, but as the cliche goes, nothing worthwhile is ever easy.
I wish you well.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 9
Hi Emily,
Being brave is very tough in a social setting for many of us. In my younger years I was a Light Infantry soldier for over a decade and physically I felt invincible(most of that was alcohol related) but take away alcohol and the fear and anxiety come rushing back. That fear and anxiety has been with me since childhood and before I started drinking and using drugs at age 14.
I do go to AA in my recovery but because of my social anxiety I also see a counselor a couple times a month. Many of us suffer from depression and anxiety which in my case was a big factor in my drinking.
For those reasons it is important for me to work on both staying sober and working on myself through counseling. Utilizing both avenues of recovery has definitely started to chip away at my social anxiety and I feel more brave today than I ever did in uniform with a rifle.
As far as AA it has taken a few attempts for it to stick in my case and I didn't think it was for me. A lot of my initial reactions were based on my anxiety and fear of fitting in. As time has progressed I have taken what may be baby steps for some but were giant leaps for me in putting myself out there and doing some service work in my group.
Much of this help in taking the first steps were part of seeing my psychologist and working through my fears.
In my case I need/needed both the professional help of a psychologist and the communal support of a group of like minded people to get sober. Whether you get that communal support from AA, or SR, or wherever it doesn't matter as long as your getting the support you need to become physically and mentally healthier!
Either way, your far from alone!!!
Best Wishes.
Being brave is very tough in a social setting for many of us. In my younger years I was a Light Infantry soldier for over a decade and physically I felt invincible(most of that was alcohol related) but take away alcohol and the fear and anxiety come rushing back. That fear and anxiety has been with me since childhood and before I started drinking and using drugs at age 14.
I do go to AA in my recovery but because of my social anxiety I also see a counselor a couple times a month. Many of us suffer from depression and anxiety which in my case was a big factor in my drinking.
For those reasons it is important for me to work on both staying sober and working on myself through counseling. Utilizing both avenues of recovery has definitely started to chip away at my social anxiety and I feel more brave today than I ever did in uniform with a rifle.
As far as AA it has taken a few attempts for it to stick in my case and I didn't think it was for me. A lot of my initial reactions were based on my anxiety and fear of fitting in. As time has progressed I have taken what may be baby steps for some but were giant leaps for me in putting myself out there and doing some service work in my group.
Much of this help in taking the first steps were part of seeing my psychologist and working through my fears.
In my case I need/needed both the professional help of a psychologist and the communal support of a group of like minded people to get sober. Whether you get that communal support from AA, or SR, or wherever it doesn't matter as long as your getting the support you need to become physically and mentally healthier!
Either way, your far from alone!!!
Best Wishes.
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