Pebbles2012

After being separated since Feb I have listened to my gut feeling and told my AW that I plan to proceed with divorce. She agreed that she was also "done" with me as well. It's so insane how I put up with so much BS and how it could have been avoided. In a way I'm thankful that it did happen because it has helped me battle my self confidence demons and codependency head on. I'm in such a better place than I ever have been mentally. The improvements I've made are proof that it can be done. I have a long way to go to battle my insecurities but I'm so much more prepared today than I was even 6 months ago.

Our divorce will be uncontested and can't happen soon enough as the wife was just in a car accident that was likely related to drinking.

My declaration for myself. Always listen to my gut. If it's telling you something back off and reassess things but don't give in no matter what. I would have saved so much of my life of unhappiness if I would have left her yrs ago. All of this is time in my life that I'll never get back. That infuriates me...

Thanks for listening SR. You guys are great.

maia1234

Pebbles,
Its turning out ok for you because you waited, got healthy and strong and can now execute what you needed to do. I know you regret the time wasted, but it is the way its suppose to be. Everything is a stepping stone to where we are going. This is the exact reason alanon doesn't want you to make any decision for 6 months, so you clear your mind and make the right choices.

Hugs my friend dont regret anything, its God's plan not ours!!

ShootingStar1

Take care, my friend. You are on a path toward health and a better future. It is always a great loss when your life partner can't accompany you there, but that is their choice, not yours.

ShootingStar1

Liveitwell

What shooting star said. Absolutely. Take care, friend. Peace to you tonight

Pebbles2012

Thanks for the responses. I have realized recently that I'm not as screwed up as I once thought, what a relief right? It's amazing how many of my AW's issues made me a control freak and just a mess. So many triggers... I recently met a woman who is the exact opposite of my aw. Calm, extremely understanding, goal oriented, supportive, all the big ones that I have never experienced before. It's amazing how much you let go when you genuinely trust someone. It's amazing how life can be enjoyable again with someone that doesn't make everything about them.

FeelingGreat

That's great Pebbles. All the best for the future.

ksos

Congrats on what must have been a reclamation "process" of yourself, your heart, and your health. While we may not know each other on the forum, i can say that you know things that truly are important.

Bless You!

Firefighter

Happy for you. Very happy.