Traumatic Incident Leading to Heavy Drinking Again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: CA, USA
Posts: 206
Traumatic Incident Leading to Heavy Drinking Again
I haven't been on in a while, some of you may remember me. I had something truly terrible happen which exacerbated my preexisting trauma issues and now I've been drinking a lot and I have to quit all over again.
While moving last month, I packed a 15' rented truck full of my entire life. The truck was stolen off the street with everything in it, and when it was recovered I got very little back. I collect art and all of it was stolen except for the largest pieces. I also make my own art and all of it was stolen--every last piece.
Here's what else they stole: all the memorabilia of my entire life, my scrapbooks, photo albums full of pictures, about half of my personal journals, they basically wiped out most of my personal history. They took my ceramics, small sculptures, all my decorative stuff, everything I'd collected abroad on my travels including quite a few antique traditional handmade blankets from around the world and other decorative fabrics. They took my entire wardrobe, including many vintage, original and handmade pieces, all of my coats, bags, belts and other accessories, jewelry boxes, all my luggage and most of my travel gear. Some shoes and bike gear, all of my bedding and towels, some kitchenware, some electronics, all of the books that were in there, government IDs including my pasport and social security card, pay stubs, my personal checks, and other stuff. They left behind the furniture, the largest paintings, stacks of paper, and loose photos. My computers weren't in the truck, so those didn't get stolen.
For a little back story on what this means for me, most of my closest friends are also artists and I acquired many many of their pieces over the past 15 years. One of my painter friends, my best friend of five years, died in 2004 after going off his meds for manic depression. I had many many of his original paintings, drawings, and prints. He's gone now, and all I had left of him was his art and it meant the world to me. Although my own work was also stolen, it's harder to lose his. I also had some of his writings which they took. Also I'm a very hard worker who comes from very humble means and I've worked really hard for everything I've ever had. I work in the service industry which isn't exactly my calling, but it's my personal connection to the arts and writing that have kept me afloat and that's what I really had to show for myself and my existence.
Everyday I can't get it out of my head how stupid I feel for letting this happen. Some days I can't see the point of even trying anymore. I've been properly depressed for the past month, and can't bring myself to look after myself well. I've been in therapy before but I can't afford it now, and I don't have any insurance. I still can't believe these people that walked right up and thought, oh perfect. Let's just walk right up and destroy this woman's life.
While moving last month, I packed a 15' rented truck full of my entire life. The truck was stolen off the street with everything in it, and when it was recovered I got very little back. I collect art and all of it was stolen except for the largest pieces. I also make my own art and all of it was stolen--every last piece.
Here's what else they stole: all the memorabilia of my entire life, my scrapbooks, photo albums full of pictures, about half of my personal journals, they basically wiped out most of my personal history. They took my ceramics, small sculptures, all my decorative stuff, everything I'd collected abroad on my travels including quite a few antique traditional handmade blankets from around the world and other decorative fabrics. They took my entire wardrobe, including many vintage, original and handmade pieces, all of my coats, bags, belts and other accessories, jewelry boxes, all my luggage and most of my travel gear. Some shoes and bike gear, all of my bedding and towels, some kitchenware, some electronics, all of the books that were in there, government IDs including my pasport and social security card, pay stubs, my personal checks, and other stuff. They left behind the furniture, the largest paintings, stacks of paper, and loose photos. My computers weren't in the truck, so those didn't get stolen.
For a little back story on what this means for me, most of my closest friends are also artists and I acquired many many of their pieces over the past 15 years. One of my painter friends, my best friend of five years, died in 2004 after going off his meds for manic depression. I had many many of his original paintings, drawings, and prints. He's gone now, and all I had left of him was his art and it meant the world to me. Although my own work was also stolen, it's harder to lose his. I also had some of his writings which they took. Also I'm a very hard worker who comes from very humble means and I've worked really hard for everything I've ever had. I work in the service industry which isn't exactly my calling, but it's my personal connection to the arts and writing that have kept me afloat and that's what I really had to show for myself and my existence.
Everyday I can't get it out of my head how stupid I feel for letting this happen. Some days I can't see the point of even trying anymore. I've been properly depressed for the past month, and can't bring myself to look after myself well. I've been in therapy before but I can't afford it now, and I don't have any insurance. I still can't believe these people that walked right up and thought, oh perfect. Let's just walk right up and destroy this woman's life.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Violet, how absolutely awful. I'm so sorry that this happened. Don't beat yourself up about it because really, you did nothing wrong.
Have you checked area flea markets to see if any of your stuff has turned up?
I wish you the best.
Have you checked area flea markets to see if any of your stuff has turned up?
I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Oh honey, sorry to hear of your mishap! It sounds like you are in a vicious cycle!
Part of my recovery plan of action is writing...I have found that very helpful when I am feeling tempted.
You're not a failure. We've all been there and know what you're going through.
You're not stupid at all, so get that persistent idea out of your head!
Hang tough...You'll get through this.
Part of my recovery plan of action is writing...I have found that very helpful when I am feeling tempted.
You're not a failure. We've all been there and know what you're going through.
You're not stupid at all, so get that persistent idea out of your head!
Hang tough...You'll get through this.
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,428
Originally Posted by Ruby2 
Violet, how absolutely awful. I'm so sorry that this happened. Don't beat yourself up about it because really, you did nothing wrong.
Have you checked area flea markets to see if any of your stuff has turned up?
I wish you the best.
Have you checked area flea markets to see if any of your stuff has turned up?
I wish you the best.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
So, sorry, Violet, your loss must be devastating, but certainly not your fault and absolutely nothing that drinking will make better. No one can take your precious memories- except alcohol. We are here for you. Wishing you peace.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Oh my Violet, I am so sorry to hear of this.
How devastating. I am so sorry you lost those personal items with sentimental value, what a senseless and awful thing to do to a person. Please do stay with us, what can we do to help you through this?
How devastating. I am so sorry you lost those personal items with sentimental value, what a senseless and awful thing to do to a person. Please do stay with us, what can we do to help you through this?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
I know exactly how you feel. About ten years ago, our moving van hit a fuel tanker and we lost EVERYTHING! Unfortunately, the man who packed us for this move died instantly. My husband is also an artist so we lost every single painting, as well as, photos, wedding dress, yearbooks and too numerous sentimental items to list. The fact that the packer died really put into perspective that we lost material items whereas his family lost a husband, a dad and a son.
I can't think of one thing about that awful experience that would have been made better by drinking. Once you wake up after a blackout stupor, your stuff is still gone. Only now, you are violently ill on top of being depressed about what happened.
I can't think of one thing about that awful experience that would have been made better by drinking. Once you wake up after a blackout stupor, your stuff is still gone. Only now, you are violently ill on top of being depressed about what happened.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
That is awful.
I am sorry this happened after all your hard work and effort and love of collecting your artworks & personal belongings.
I know it is hard but please try not personalise what these awful people did...
..drinking won't give any answers or relief...try doing something really nice for yourself, something caring and nurturing, maybe something relating to art.
I am sorry this happened after all your hard work and effort and love of collecting your artworks & personal belongings.
I know it is hard but please try not personalise what these awful people did...
..drinking won't give any answers or relief...try doing something really nice for yourself, something caring and nurturing, maybe something relating to art.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Wow, that is the very definition of horrible. I am going to assume none of this work was insured, as it was mostly sentimental and purely blood sweat and tears that created this work? I really feel for you. That rental truck that was stolen must have turned up somewhere, I would start there and backtrack. I would also see if a GPS tracking device was on the truck....somewhere. If you have electronic records of the artwork or writings on a memory stick I would get that "out" and see if anything comes back to you. Again, that is horrible. I wish you the best.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'm very sorry Violet. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, and I hope you'll stop beating yourself up for this.
Someone else saw their chance and took it. It's despicable but it's not your fault.
as for drinking, that opens the door to the biggest thief of all...alcohol. I have whole years where I can't remember things that happened.
especially after something dreadful like this, your memories are so so important. Treasure them and guard them.
Look after yourself, ok?
D
Someone else saw their chance and took it. It's despicable but it's not your fault.
as for drinking, that opens the door to the biggest thief of all...alcohol. I have whole years where I can't remember things that happened.
especially after something dreadful like this, your memories are so so important. Treasure them and guard them.
Look after yourself, ok?
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Sorry to hear the news, Violet. That was a real crummy thing and I'm sure you're upset about it.
There's some good news, though. You weren't hurt in the event. Your bank account wasn't touched. You still have a home, and your family and friends. And, the great thing about being an artist is that you can always create NEW art and find inspiration in new things. We are constantly evolving as people, and sometimes we hang on to the past too tightly. Maybe there's a small silver lining here? It sounds like, if there was a time to start over, that time is now. A fresh and new horizon, with new adventures, and a sober life is yours for the taking! We look forward to hearing more of your thoughts. Stick around!
There's some good news, though. You weren't hurt in the event. Your bank account wasn't touched. You still have a home, and your family and friends. And, the great thing about being an artist is that you can always create NEW art and find inspiration in new things. We are constantly evolving as people, and sometimes we hang on to the past too tightly. Maybe there's a small silver lining here? It sounds like, if there was a time to start over, that time is now. A fresh and new horizon, with new adventures, and a sober life is yours for the taking! We look forward to hearing more of your thoughts. Stick around!
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Wow, that's terrible, Violet! I am glad you're back and trying to get sober again. As bad as your loss has been it won't be improved by being drunk. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, and it's sad that there are such evil and heartless people in the world.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 76
Hi Violet. I'm so sorry that this happened to you, I was tearing up reading your post. There are some evil people in this world. I just wanted to say it was not your fault that this happened, you could not have known (no one could). Take care, you need to be kind to yourself right now.
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