DeltaBravo

Good day everyone. Currently on day 22 and have been going to AA once a week. I'm scheduled to go into a 4 week outpatient treatment here next month too. With all that being said...I find myself throughout the day going into the mental "filing cabinet" and reliving all the bad choices, mistakes, poor decisions, and "what ifs" from the previous years of drinking.

Working on finding some good avenues of approach with dealing with all my past transgressions.

Thanks.

Ruby2

I'm not currently dealing with this but have in the past. It's too soon to start sorting through all the stuff that's cluttering your head about past choices and actions. Focus on today and what you can do to make today a good day. I'm not saying it's easy. It takes practice.

Keep doing what you're doing. Maybe bump up AA attendance until you start outpatient treatment. If you've formed any connections in AA, talk to someone there about what you're going through.

doggonecarl

You can't change the past. That isn't a cliche, its a fact. I've felt what you've felt. The solution? Stay sober. Being sober I have made great choices, fewer mistakes, wise decisions, and have done things to replace the "What ifs" with "What is."

The scales being tipped by all your guilt and regrets will level out as you stay sober. That's how you deal with the past...by not repeating it.

Anna

I struggled for a long time with the guilt and shame of what I'd become during my drinking years. It was truly the hardest part of recovery - to be able to look at those memories and deal with them and move on. It's often easier to forgive others than it is to forgive ourselves. But, forgiveness is essential to recovery. Ultimately, I ended up starting a journal and when a difficult memory came up, I would write it out. For me, that made it much easier to let go of the feelings and move on.

Soberwolf

^^^^^^^

DeltaBravo

Thanks. I do feel the sense of empowerment from being sober this long. The longest I've been without drink since 2013 actually. I'll be bumping up the AA everyday (part of the program requirements).

PurpleKnight

Time is a great healer, the more we but some Sober time between the present and the past, things will ease, concentrate on writing the next chapter to your life and everything else will take care of itself!!

Day 22 is fantastic!!

Dee74

Hi DeltaBravo

I found the more I focused on what good I could do today the less I dwelt on what I'd done wrong in the past.

Learn from your mistakes, then walk forward.
Don't miss the beauty of today because you're focused on looking back

D

Needanewme

I am very new to recovery. I go to AA at least 3 times a week. For me, I need these meetings as a bare minimum. I sit silently and listen, and find people's comments and stories very helpful. It helps to know we are not alone in recovery...

Today we read step 9, which helped shed some hope on how I can eventually address previous wrongdoings.