Timetoheal12

Hi, all. So I was checking out my FB account and I came across this post, so I wanted to share with you guys: https://www.facebook.com/humansofnew...type=1&theater

I think that addiction will always make me sad. I am sad for exabf and his self destructive ways. But what makes me sadder, is that he thinks he is enjoying his life. (Maybe he is? :/)


I am also sad for my A dad, and for everyone else who does this type of things.


Well, I just wanted to share because it was food for thought to me.

Katchie

I saw that on FB this morning. It is sad. My cousins husband has smoked pot since we were all in college together and sees nothing wrong with it. Well, good for him, but it's irritating to see him look down on others for using drugs (ya know, weed isn't really a drug!) or being an alcoholic. He has little tolerance when others don't have his awesome power of self discipline!

honeypig

I'd agree that addiction "stops the experimenting." One of the things that struck me when I had first come here and was just beginning to see what had really been going on all the years I'd been w/XAH was just how small our world had become. We had no friends anymore and did almost nothing outside of our daily routine at home. XAH had been so unreceptive to any suggestions I'd made--how about if we go to the park and go swimming this afternoon? I think it would be cool to go to the planetarium, do you want to go?--that I'd just stopped making them. I also didn't do those things on my own, being stuck in codependent thinking.

That is all changing for me now, and I'm doing my best to give myself permission to try and fail--to go to an activity and maybe have a good time and maybe say "well, that was interesting but not again." I am one curious girl by nature, and it feels really good to let her out to run again!

Thanks for the post.

FeelingGreat

I agree about the way young people can lose motivation with pot. I didn't know much about it, but had co-workers who smoked every day, and there wasn't much else to their lives.

HHTexas

Honeypig, wow! I relate! He never wants to do anything so I've stopped trying. Just realized this. What a 👀 realization.

Wisconsin

HP, I've been out for three whole weeks, and I've already done more in those three weeks than I've done in the last three years. It's amazing how I allowed being married to an active addict incrementally chipped away at my life--my joys, my interests, my sense of adventure. Even that year that he worked out of town, the kids and I rarely did anything. At the time, I blamed it on finances and the fact that my son was in the midst of his terrible threes. But in retrospect, it was just as much an emotional block for me as anything else.

healthyagain

^ what Wisconsin says X 1000

Liveitwell

Honeypig-I could have written your words...every one of them. Thanks for sharing your story!

NYCDoglvr

What makes me sad is that I picked one and stuck around too long instead of choosing someone healthy.

Timetoheal12

Thanks to you, for sharing this
I also noticed that exabf would act that way. He went as far as to ask me: "would you be happy if we didn't hang out at all? I don't really like it, so maybe you could be that way too".

I am not the most social person (I'm actually socially awkward, tbh) but I love fresh air, meeting new places and people....

It is good that we are free now.

Timetoheal12

Yes, I am sad about that too, NYCDoglvr. I am sad for the lost time (2 years, from 19 to 21)..., but I will make the most from now on.