meggem

I'm trying to piece together where I was mentally the last time I posted here, before my absence. What was I thinking then? when and why did I decide to just "stop" doing anything towards recovery?and was it even a conscience decision?

Even though I was only doing "some" things, it was still better than doing nothing. Instead of building on it, I just stopped all together.

Maybe I needed a break? Maybe I needed to just settle in to the new chapter of my life, let the dust settle and figure out my next step. Maybe for a while I had to pretend I was a normal person.

My last post was February.

Instead of being hard on myself for not being in a certain "place" 12 months later, I think I am going to liken the last 5 months to a medically induced coma. My brain needed to heal and the best way to do that was to knock me out for a while.

I'm awake now. I actually feel refreshed and ready for my next phase.

Looking back at my posts didn't really give me the answers to my questions, but I can definitely say all of my posts are centered around my Ex. What he was doing, not doing, saying, not saying and the effect of all of that was having on me. As much as my actions were about me and my girls, my thoughts revolved around him.

Interesting.

hopeful4

You know what, I can totally relate to this. I think after constant chaos for long periods of time, your brain does just need to be a safe place doing....not much...for a while.

Thank you for this post!