bexxed

So yesterday I was in my house putzing around, and there was a knock on my door. It was a man who introduced himself as the partner of the guy two doors down, who always walks this very cute little dog. So this guy asked me if this giant box near my recycle bin was mine, and if it was, if he could have it. I said yes. He seemed a little off, like he was high or buzzed or something. I couldn't tell really, but got the vibe. He then told me that the cute little dog had just been hit by a car the night before after escaping out the door. He stayed on my porch for a long time, talking and talking. I felt really bad for he and his partner. I actually almost cried. They were adorable with that little dog. So today, when I saw his partner, I introduced myself and gave him a hug, and expressed my condolences. He seemed to think this was very sweet, and said he would like to connect more, and I should come over for a glass of wine.

Boo.

I almost said "oh, I don't drink, but thanks" ...but that seemed awkward. I was on my way to my car. So I just said "uh, yeah, ok, well, take care." and left it like that. I felt a little sad, but also annoyed. why couldn't he have said coffee? grapefruit juice? ice tea? or, nothing? why couldn't he say "come over and chat sometime" "come over for cake" "come over and gossip about the people across the street?" ANYTHING BUT WINE.

Maybe someday I could navigate exploring new friendships with people who may be heavy drinkers, but right now it doesn't feel right. I'm thankful for what is here, now, though.

Soberwolf

Meraviglioso

I understand you, alcohol is really a big part of most cultures. It is a typical phrase "come by for a glass of wine" "let's get a drink sometime"
I feel a bit sensitive to this as well. But I am slowly discovering that it doesn't have to be such a big deal. YOu don't even need to address what you will be drinking when you go to visit or meet up. think about it, you don't plan out what you will talk about, do you? You can show up and when offered the wine ask for a water instead. Or come with your own beverage. Or invite them over to your house for coffee and cakes!

Berrybean

Bless you. I'm pretty sure he didn't mean come over and get wrecked with us. You are allowed to choose a different beverage!! Or even go over and take your alcohol free drink of choice with you and say you're off alcohol at the moment. In my heavy drinking days the last thing I'd have done is invite the neighbours into my chaotic home. Chances are it was just a turn of phrase, and it'd be fine to go over.

Dee74

Very few people I've met since I've gotten sober drink like I did

I don't make a fuss - when asked what's my poison, I just say I don't drink,
I get a soda and life goes on

D

PurpleKnight

Keep it simple, "oh I don't drink"!!

FreeOwl

when people say to me things like "c'mon over for beer" or "we should meet up for drinks"

I say something like "well I don't drink, but I'll join you with a root beer!"

or

"Sounds great... see ya then!!" and then just show up with a non-alcoholic option....

or

"I don't drink, but I'd love to get together.... I'll bring some appetizers!"

Ruby2

I'd love to visit over a cup of coffee. Wine doesn't agree with me.

kittycat3

Yes I agree, the invite was to hang out and chat over a beverage, not about the beverage itself. You did good! If it does happen then yes bring an N/a option and don't bat an eye....