Help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 263
Help
Today I was supposed to be picked up by family to get away from alcohol. The weirdest and most terrible coincidence happened, one of them got a heart attack (thank you higher power...) He's going to be weak but fine.
Which has lead me to drinking like never before. I feel selfish every sentence I type about myself, give how much worse a heart attack is,
But I'll be in the same position or worse if I don't quit. Btw, he wasn't an alcoholic.
At this point I can't cope and just drink, and drink, and drink, and drink. I'm about to black out and tomorrow I will drink, and drink, and drink and drink.
It's futile right now. I can't stop.
Which has lead me to drinking like never before. I feel selfish every sentence I type about myself, give how much worse a heart attack is,
But I'll be in the same position or worse if I don't quit. Btw, he wasn't an alcoholic.
At this point I can't cope and just drink, and drink, and drink, and drink. I'm about to black out and tomorrow I will drink, and drink, and drink and drink.
It's futile right now. I can't stop.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
Jerry, you can't depend on family or anyone for that matter to keep you sober. It's a decision you have to make for yourself.
I hope that your family member recovers from the heart attack.
I hope that your family member recovers from the heart attack.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Jerry, you need to do whatever it takes to stop. Is there anyone outside of family that you can call? If not, AA has a hotline. There may be other resources near you. Please make the effort to reach out instead of assuming that it is a foregone conclusion that you will drink.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,413
Jerry, can you get a friend to take you to the hospital for a medical detox? You need to take a step... get rid of any drinks you have.
Alcoholism won't solve itself you may need to take steps you may not want to... like surrendering, accepting, and giving EVERYTHING you have to your recovery. Spend as much time on your recovery as you do on drinking.
Alcoholism won't solve itself you may need to take steps you may not want to... like surrendering, accepting, and giving EVERYTHING you have to your recovery. Spend as much time on your recovery as you do on drinking.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 263
I will see in the morning.
Btw, if I seem more concerned about myself than my family member, that's not accurate. I am far more concerned about them. On here I focus on myself though, which is the appropriate place.
And let me say: this is a terrible situation.I hope to come out of it well. For now, I cannot stop drinking.
Btw, if I seem more concerned about myself than my family member, that's not accurate. I am far more concerned about them. On here I focus on myself though, which is the appropriate place.
And let me say: this is a terrible situation.I hope to come out of it well. For now, I cannot stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,413
Well go to bed early Jerry so you are not totally screwed up in the morning, so you can make phone calls to get into a hospital or detox. You need to act on this Jerry.... it is YOUR life and you need to take a step to stop drinking and then take recovery very seriously and WORK at this diligently as if your life depends on it.... oh, yeah, your life does depend on it Jerry. .
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Hi Jerry - I'm sorry for your struggle.
If you find it impossible to stop on your own, or when you're on your own, I don't see many other options besides inpatient rehab.
I hope you'll think about that and look into it - a little time to get your head right, and to work out how you might live a sober life, may be just what you need..
D
If you find it impossible to stop on your own, or when you're on your own, I don't see many other options besides inpatient rehab.
I hope you'll think about that and look into it - a little time to get your head right, and to work out how you might live a sober life, may be just what you need..
D
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Dee is spot on as always Jerry. You need help right now above and beyond what we can offer. If you cannot stop drinking initially, you most likely need to be admitted to an inpatient program or a supervised detox at bare minimum. Don't rule out calling 911 either....hospitals are for more than just heart attacks. Your situation could easily qualify as an emergency. Get help and get it soon please.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
Jerry I'm so sorry to hear about your family member. That's terrible. It's a really good reason to NOT drink. I think that ALL of the "reasons" we say we "have to drink" or for which we "cannot stop" are actually good reasons to stop. The most important, is for you. If you stop, you will be able to actually cope. Drinking keeps you from coping. You can stop now. I'd recommend dumping what you have, drinking some water, not touching any pills or anything else, getting some sleep, and checking yourself in to detox if you really can't stop. It seems like you struggle when you are on your own and a facility can help you with strategies to deal with that. Take care.
B
B
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 263
Tomorrow I will re-connect with my family and stay sober. It really sucks that I couldn't have been there for him. But he's going to be fine, fortunately.
I hope to stay sober from tomorrow on.
And my trust in a higher power is gone. The moment I started accepting one, someone had a heart attack.
I hope to stay sober from tomorrow on.
And my trust in a higher power is gone. The moment I started accepting one, someone had a heart attack.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
Sounds like you have a plan.
I'm not one for lots of religion, etc, but I wouldn't say that a higher power is like a Santa Claus or anything. People have heart attacks. People get in car accidents. War happens. For me, it's an understanding that there is something larger than me, that I and everyone and everything has a purpose. That I cannot control this thing about me, that isn't all of me, but a thing about me, that I am an alcoholic. I can't, because I am an alcoholic, control drinking. I hand that over to this larger thing, and take the days as they come. I don't think I know everything, but I will tell you one thing I do know, for absolute certain: you developing a relationship with god as you understand her to be, did not cause your family member to have a heart attack. You hear me? I promise, from the bottom of my heart, that those two things are unrelated.
I'm not one for lots of religion, etc, but I wouldn't say that a higher power is like a Santa Claus or anything. People have heart attacks. People get in car accidents. War happens. For me, it's an understanding that there is something larger than me, that I and everyone and everything has a purpose. That I cannot control this thing about me, that isn't all of me, but a thing about me, that I am an alcoholic. I can't, because I am an alcoholic, control drinking. I hand that over to this larger thing, and take the days as they come. I don't think I know everything, but I will tell you one thing I do know, for absolute certain: you developing a relationship with god as you understand her to be, did not cause your family member to have a heart attack. You hear me? I promise, from the bottom of my heart, that those two things are unrelated.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 263
Originally Posted by FLCamper 
Just so I'm clear: are you saying your trust in a higher power caused your family member's heart attack?
So I believe that higher power is there, I just shouldn't ask for anything specific. A synergy of trust and knowing it's there seems to work. Don't ask for specifics. It doesn't like it and it knows what is best,
I need to get to sleep now. Hopefully tomorrow will be day 1.
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