Pia

I still can't calmly talk to mom and I feel empty and lonely. I keep thinking of call AH. I called a friend earlier ,cleaned and other things. I don't know what I would accomplish calling AH. He has been gone for weeks and have not heard from him.
I keep trying to focus on me but i am struggling. I can't seem to find anything that brings me relief so I choose to reach out here instead of AH.

D122y

If you are craving booze....eat..... ideally healthy. Drink water..Gatorade..take a vitimine...

Then...if you have the ability..use you sober strength to exercise.

Just don't drink...that resets the clock...

happybeingme

Well. If you called him what would you say?

Pia

Me: Hi How are you doing?
Him: I'm ok how are you?
Me: Haven't heard from you in weeks?
Him: Do you want me to come over?

And the cycle beings then he is here drunk and passed out on the couch.

It doesn't erase the hurt he did and continues to do.

I need friends that can go out and do things even a walk .
I don't have anyone that can do anything.

amy55

Play this forward in your mind.

Whenever I had that urge I would listen to the vm's he left, and the text he sent, if that wasn't enough, I would read his emails, then my journal.

It' not worth it. !!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for coming here first.

((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))
amy

Pia

Thanks Amy55 I already went over my lists. I guess it's just one of those days for me. I know I wont call him, He has been gone for weeks and I never hear from him. That is isn't a marriage. How dare he. I thought the other day if I take the drugs/alcohol out the picture he is still a sick perverted sex craze person.
I know it is over I've gone weeks without checking on his where a bouts or wanting him home. I'm just triggered because of mom and I am still to hurt to talk to her. The best thing for me is to leave her alone. I don't want to say something and regret it later.

amy55

Radiant,

Just stick around here for tonight, and tomorrow or for ever long it takes you. My ex used to just walk out on me all the time. Disappeared for days, then weeks, then months. I also felt that it was more then just the alcohol.

Can you find a funny movie to watch tonight?

I am really sorry about all of the things that you are dealing with, with your mom right now. That is really a lot to handle.

Redatlanta did give you a lot of things to think about with that stuff.

Just more (((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
amy

redatlanta

Best to talk to her when you are calmed down. Maybe make a list of things you wish to discuss with her.

It is your house and you have really done something nice by offering her to live with you. If you can't communicate with her this is going to be a problem.

Lilro

Hi. I want you to go back and read your thread from the 20th of this month. That should make you angry enough that you will not want to call him. Try to distract yourself. Maybe read a good book, turn on a movie... Anything... Just please don't call him. He doesn't sound like he deserves to hear ANYTHING from you. I know it's easy for me to say being that I am not the one going thru it but please find something to occupy your time that is more productive.
Many hugs to you.
Ro

Pia

You are so right it is more than Alcohol. It took me along time to wrap my head around that. I guess I thought I was special.

Pia

Thank you for the reminder. How quickly I foget.

Pia

Sorry I didn't respond last night. I cried so much I feel asleep. Hopefully today goes better I still feel like blah..

Refiner

Radiant you need a dog! They are your best friend, provide love and companionship, and love to go on walks and get ice cream cones! I would die without the companionship my dogs bring me and have learned to never trust a human as your sole source of it... they'll let you down every time.

Pia

I have one and I snuggle on him all the time!!!!

Refiner

Awwww (((Radiant)))

honeypig

Radiant, do tell us about your houndie--I'm a dog lover myself and would love to meet your doggle, even if only in the virtual world...