1dayaddatime

First of all let me start by saying, I understand how "airing dirty laundry" on SR can help one with sobriety, but couldn't it be a trigger for others as well? I haven't checked yet (maybe I should before asking this), but is there not a forum for a topic like "unsupportive spouses" or anything like that? Airing your "dirty laundry" is definitely not a "trigger" for me by any means, but more of a irritant when I log on and hope to read positive posts and start to read about someone's "dirty laundry". Like the title says, I'm sure I'll get more flak than answers for this, but just thought I'd throw it out there. Have a happy, and sober day SR fam!
"1dayaddatime"

ScottFromWI

There are separate forums here for discussion of alcoholic family members ( Friends and family ), is that what you are referring to?

ElleDee

So you're just looking for happiness and upbeat posts on SR?

mecanix

When i was early on in sobriety i found some of the things people wrote triggering , emotionally draining , upsetting , annoying , irritating .

It spoke more about where i was in my own recovery than others .

By judicious use of ignoring certain posters and threads i found that i could tolerate it.
Later on in my recovery i found it useful to learn from others how i wanted my sobriety to be, sometimes learn how i didn't want it to be.

If someone irks me or gets on my nerves it was and is now a useful exercise in checking that i am calm, centred and strong in my own recovery.

Their issues, it's not about me. It is my choice if i let their drama effect me, if i read more of their thread or take a pass, sit the hand out .

I keep on building and strengthening my own recovery so i can let people know that a worthwhile life free from drink and drugs is available to us all

Bestwishes, m

Bailey3

Getting and staying sober is hard work. If coming on here and, venting prevents someone from drinking then, I have no problem with it. The responses are nothing but support. Support is what we come here for. I also find that by reading those threads I often glean information that can help me in the future. So, they're not only helpful to the person who starts the thread but to me and, possibly others also.

Anna

If you are irritated please make use of the Ignore tool. That's what it's there for.

And, please keep in mind the Mandate for the Newcomers forum:

The Newcomers Forum is a safe and welcoming place for newcomers. Respect is essential

Carlotta

The newcomer forum is just that: for newcomers and most of them do have a lot of wreckage to deal with or are struggling. Early sobriety can be kind of prickly.
There are many parts of SR which are quite positive. Coffee Central is a hoot for example
I would suggest that you bookmark this
The Gratitude List - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
so when you log on to SR, you start with some really good positive posts.

TroyW

I think it's pretty easy to tell whether it's a positive or negative post just from the topic title, so you should be able to avoid the negative stuff if you wanted. I guess in places like the class thread it would be tough to avoid though.

I personally don't mind though. It's up to me to not trigger myself.

ArtFriend

Some positive posts and some negative too. That is the way of the world.

Soberwolf

Is something bugging you Day ?

entropy1964

Hi 1dayaddatime
For me I learn from most posts. Sometimes the message is directly in the poster's words, sometimes the learning comes from how I respond to the post. I welcome diversity in issues, problems and beliefs. I also welcome the stories of those who are affected by alcoholism/alcoholics. While difficult to read the views of the other team, it helps me understand how deeply I have the ability to affect others with my actions.

bexxed

I'm here to read, and to share. I often don't have anything to say. Sometimes I read about how happy people are, how positive they are, and I think "humph". That's helpful, because it shows me that I'm probably not centered. Sometimes I read how desperate people are, and I think "humph". That's helpful, because it shows me that I'm probably not centered. Sometimes I have a lot to say. Often, I'm just thankful.

Carver

I find it helpful to my recovery. I'm going through an awful lot of crap in my life (alongside which, I've quit drinking), so it helps to read that other people have struggles in relationships, etc.
A lot of the time, it shows me that some people are so much worse off than I am. Nothing I've read here so far has been a trigger for me, and if it was, then that'll just give me some extra practise at beating the evil AV

NestWasEmpty

I understand your point of view & the others replies . Honesty after I joined some posts I found upset me , caused my anxiety to come pretty strong .
I backed off for awhile to figure out Why . Finally it came to me - I never dealt with my past . Things in many of the posts reminded me of what I went through .
So that showed me I still needed work - which I would have never known, if it wasn't for joining SR . I've done more work on myself - I had to let go & Forgive myself for my past . I feel Free with less anxiety
I thank SR & all the truly helpful caring people for that

Dee74

Maybe you misunderstand the function of this forum 1day?

Like Anna said Newcomers Forum is meant to be a safe place for everybody, and all SR members are welcome here, always

I have a pretty simple rule of thumb that I think anyone can follow - if you don't like a thread, or if it brings up bad memories for you, move onto another one

If you have a problem with a particular poster, use the ignore function.

If you feel it breaks a rule report the post by hitting the button on the relevant post.

Using the Alcoholism Forum is always another option

D

Ruby2

I air dirty laundry sometimes. Dealing with someone in active addiction is hard, especially when I'm trying to maintain my own sobriety. Posting on the family and friends forums wouldn't get me far sometimes because not everyone on that forum is an alcoholic and wouldn't understand. Sobriety isn't all sunshine and light and there are ugly, stressful things I have to air out that my normal friends and family just wouldn't understand. People on here do understand, especially if they're dealing with the same stuff. I may find support and tips to cope that I won't find anywhere else. Bottle it up inside and end up drinking over it or air it out and start healing. I'd rather heal.

Time2Rise

The thread title is usually a good indication of the thread's content. I find it easy to simply ignore a thread. Even if the title isn't a good indicator, the first few sentences of the original post are. So again, I find it easy to ignore the thread and discussion.

Personally, I have no problem with members airing their problems, obstacles etc. Many people need a place to vent. However, I do find some of the discussions sad, i.e. I feel bad for the poster, and at this point in my sobriety, I'm unable to really offer any sound advice or support. And while these types of threads aren't a trigger for me, I do prefer to stay as positive as possible in my sobriety, so I simply ignore any thread or discussion that is not constructive and positive.

Hopefully, once I have some significant sober time, I will eventually be able to help others who are still struggling.

1dayaddatime

hahaha, wolf every time I post a thread you assume something is bothering me. I appreciate your kindness, but you should know by now, from the threads I post that if something is on mind I express it. The dirty laundry was irritating to me but someone educated me on the ignore button which I wasn't aware of, but glad I am now.
"1dayaddatime".

Soberwolf

Day im glad D helped you he's helped me with this aswell (thank you D)

Keep up your fantastic work your doing great