thomas11

I've read on this site that people who are contemplating whether or not they have a problem with alcohol should try to go 90 days without drinking and see how they do. I'm at about that point. I want to be clear that I am making no plans, but I am curious. I wonder if I can handle the occasional drink on the weekends. I know that I certainly don't want to go back to full-on weekend warrior status. But maybe I can enjoy a couple drinks watching a football game (my favorite).
On the other hand, I feel pretty good about the amount of time I have accumulated and I would have to throw all that time down the drain. I have genuinely enjoyed all of the benefits of being sober. I do want to make it clear though that I have no plans, but I am curious. I'm guessing the question many will have is why would you want to? Also, please don't blast me for bringing this up. I'm just throwing it out there.

biminiblue

*sigh*

Really, Jeff? Really?

Of course you know the reaction you are going to get. How many times in the past have you voiced some similar thought?


We'll be here.

Saskia

Jeff, let me ask this question ... is it worth the risk? I don't think alcoholics can drink moderately. So, have you not accepted the fact that you are an alcoholic?

Even if your answer to my last question is "no", then you might want to chew on this: if you tried to drink occasionally, how would you feel ... truly feel, deep inside ... if you tried it and you ended up back where you started and repeated going through the same stuff you did this time to get sober?

Or, to think of it another way: if you were not an alcoholic, would you even be wondering if you could drink occasionally or would you even care?!

zerothehero

Tried it. Bottom line is I failed at moderation. My guess is you would, as well, or you wouldn't be on SR.

silentrun

You are doing great Jeff. That is EXACTLY the kind of post that is going to keep you moving forward. It's pure AV and I think part of you realizes it and that is why you are posting. So I will be one of the first to tell you...don't fall for the moderation scheme in any of it's forms. It still tries to get me even over 2 years clean.

LexieCat

Sounds to me like you're well on your way to talking yourself into it. I don't know your history, but I have been around recovery for a VERY long time (since my first husband got sober 35 years ago), and I spent four and a half years in a "moderate drinking" program. In all that time, out of the thousands of people I encountered, I believe I met two or three people who were able to sustain a moderate drinking pattern after discovering they had a "problem". There are probably more cases of spontaneous cancer remissions.

I doubt whether anyone here will convince you not to. But as bimini said, we'll be here.

Mags1

Hi Jeff, years ago I got to 8 months and then I thought, yeah, I'm in control, I just went off the rails for a while.

Then I had a 15 year stint of booze, loads a regrets, embarrassments and then some.

doggonecarl

When you read, "The relapse starts long before the drink..." this is what we are talking about.

But as you've stressed, you aren't making plans. However, in thinking about it, wondering if you can drink now that you've proved you can go 90 days (and hence, aren't an alcoholic), you are no different than most of us. I remember when I hit 90 days sober after 35 years of pretty much daily drinking, I thought, "Maybe I can drink every ninety days. That would be 4 days drunk out of 365. Much better than the 365 out of 365."

Almost talked myself into it, if I recall. Most likely, some wise head here on SR told me how ludicrous that idea was.

I'm coming onto five years sober, mainly by not taking action on every foolish drinking thought that came into my head.

2ndhandrose

Hi Jeff, I have read some of your previous threads.

I think you know what the answer to this question is. I hope you do, too.

VDGS

I was exactly six months sober, to the day, when I had a long and frustrating day, and I swore to myself upwards, downwards, left, and right that I would have ONE night of a few beers and continue on the sober path. I wasn't craving booze anymore. I was in good graces with my sober friends. I had just started a new job. Everything was great and I felt awesome. But that little voice persuaded me that I could drink just the once. Needless to say, I stepped right into a trap. My thoughts? Don't do it. Three months is a long time and you have earned it. I, too, wish that I could have just a few beers while watching TV. That 2% of my drinking was thoroughly enjoyable. All of the hellish misery that brought us here, though, is the inevitable price.

Bubovski

I drank sporadically for over 50 years.
The extreme to the light ridiculous.
Joined SR and got up 20 months total sobriety.
Opted for a stubby a day post this.
No fun, just a worry and risky miserable waste of time.
No smart drinking>>>>

letitgo

Jeff, I hit 90 days last year and thought I can have a few it's the 4th of July. Merica's birthday dammit. Well it didn't end at a few or on that day. I too felt threaten when I came back to SR. Everyone is talking about a magical plan and just never drinking again. They threatened my av and I let the AV win. Back to 40 something days. July 5 being my start time this go around. It's not worth starting over. You can prevent it.

Your posts are sincere and amusing. You know people are going to tell your bat **** crazy and you keep posting similar dilemas. The same battles that go on in my head. You have the courage to say them on a public forum. Take care bud and don't drink. The vikings will suck regardless bear down lol

growpath

between days 97-100 have been my last three relapses.

I start thinking I am "ok". I understand where your thought process is.

It may not go back to full throttle right away but I can promise you with a little time you end up right back where you left off.

Don't waste time learning the same lessons!!

I think it is good Thomas that you posted here. It shows you know this is testy thinking... Stay sober and keep growing.

buk1000

I'm not blasting you Jeff and I don't know you personally. But I was around for the last few times you drank. And they started with threads like this one where you just opened the door a crack and began to entertain the thought, even though you were not making plans.

I thought you had made it about 45 days before the last time you drank. What difference would another 45 days make? I don't want to log on here and see threads about Pink Floyd lyrics again. You know this is a very bad idea. You know it. Go back and read some of your own words after you got out of the hospital, don't take it from me.

You can't drink safely Jeff. You've proven it to yourself. Don't forget it.

Be well.

RogerD

Doggonecarl,

I had the same thoughts. Except mine was every 30 days. Hey, I can get drunk 12 times a year. Then it was 15 days, then 7, then 2. Yeah, the slope gets steep pretty quick

Anna

Jeff, I think you are well on the way to deciding to drink again.

I hope you reconsider.

Dee74

Don't confuse abstinence for control Jeff.

I had two months of abstinence once - I decided to have a night off at my school reunion, cos I could start over in the morning, right?.

It was two and a half years before I stopped drinking again - and the drinking was very destructive - it was that extended 30 month bender that damn nearly killed me and bought me here.

I have to ask - what is it about drinking that's so important to you Jeff?

D

Dharma33

....."people who are contemplating whether or not they have a problem with alcohol".....

So Jeff- you are now one of these people? You aren't sure?

I really hope you are listening to the Old Timers on here with years of sober time, and also then months/years of relapse after believing the same theory of "just a couple".

Just like you, I have around 3 months. I romanticized having a couple of drinks- just this weekend in fact. As an alcoholic thinking about it is danger enough, I most certainly cannot afford to act on it. Let's keep going forward- sober.

advbike

I "quit" repeatedly for over 10 years because I kept thinking I could drink moderately after some period of time. Would have been nice to have been living in sobriety those ten years.

D122y

What was your bottom? Obviously it wasn't enough to sufficiently terrify/ruin you.

That is what all these nice people are offering us...learning from their mistakes.

98 days here.. hate booze. It is a drug that kept me weak and wrecked my mind.

Prefer strong body and mind these days.

Thank God I quit. Just now feeling a lot better. I was a weak trembling mess for a long time.

I decided to think about trying drinking/smoking pot again someday again too, but the day I am going to think about it is 30 years from now. When I'm 80.

That is my plan.