Pastcaring

Why is it after so few weeks that I have failed?
Why is this stuff allowed to be sold when other less harmful products are banned?
Why are all the soap operas in Britain based around pubs and they all drink in the day as well as the evening?
Why does wine have to be so high in alcohol to be dry and palatable?
Why don't we have dry bars where people can have fun?
Why are my most memorable evenings the ones when I've had a few to drink?
Why are we so uptight that we need a few drinks to lighten up?
Why are the messages regarding wine so mixed eg a glass of wine is good/bad for you?
Why do we all look for excuses to have that drink?
Why do we think we deserve that drink?

Soberwolf

Everything ok Pastcaring ?

Pastcaring

Thank you for asking. Feeling angry. Had wine this evening, had already failed this week so thought why not? Will definitely be starting again tomorrow. I always become angry when I've had a drink and to be honest this is the only place I feel safe to offload even if I am blaming everything other than myself and feeling sorry for myself.

I read a thread today about somebody wanting to know why sometimes people behave as though they're the victim every time. It hurt to read the comments because the people making those comments haven't walked in the shoes of the people they're talking about. So what do they know or understand? Who are they to judge?

Sorry, on my soap box as happens after only one drink....... too much anger inside this head of mine....

Pastcaring

Just read some of your blogs Soberwolf, one hell of a life by the sound of it.
One of the things I like about this site is that you can share/offload stuff and it doesn't matter because nobody knows you.

This is the only place I feel safe to express myself or get **** off my chest. I haven't done so yet but I know the time will come. I just hope nobody judges me when I do.

resolute50

Why= cause there's probably some people somewhere that can honestly drink just a few and stop.
I'm not one of them. That would have just wasted my time,back in the day.

PurpleKnight

The reality out there is that not everyone has a problem with alcohol, because we have such an issue, we see alcohol everywhere we go, but the majority of the world don't see alcohol in the way we do.

Go at things again Pastcaring, tweak your plan, you can do this!!

Soberwolf

You can always feel safe to express yourself & vent if need be i dont think anyone would judge you

The good news is there is fantastic support & advice here the mods are wise intelligent & caring & so is the SR community

The anger will pass with sober time through understanding & acceptance

If you ever need to talk chat vent whatever feel free to send a msg

You never have to feel alone with this again you have our support 5000%

Spk soon my friend

Fly N Buy

I got away from the why's and started focusing on the why not's.

Why not be sober, I asked myself - others seem to quit and live productive lives, improve their health and circumstances moving forward.

Why not me!?!?

Why not get help if I need it?

Why not today?

Why not keep coming back ............

Glad we're both here today Past......why not catch the sober buzzzzz????

doggonecarl

Your post is very "drink" centric. The only way to get past the loss of alcohol ( and it is a loss, with a grieving cycle) is to center your sobriety around recovery, around learning to live a sober life and enjoy it.

Feeling deprived won't keep you sober.

Good luck.

least

I used to waste my energy on figuring out the 'why' of things. Now it's easier and better to just take action to correct the problem rather than figuring out why it exists.

NestWasEmpty

Pastcaring , I'm still asking those same questions in my head , even though I know the answers . What I usually say " Is It's not fair" ! Why can't I just have a few drinks and stop like some can ?
That's when you grab hold of yourself and say - Cause you are an alcoholic and it's ruining your health , your life and you can't handle it . Let it go like a bad relationship that's only harming you in the long run .
It's like any disease it only touches some and not others . Only good thing about it is you can heal from it .

ScottFromWI

I will also agree that once I stopped wondering "why" and simply accepting that I "AM" an alcoholic things changed dramatically. Life ain't fair, as much as we would like it to be....but it's a lot easier to work with what you have vs beating your head against an immovable wall.

Pastcaring

Thanks everybody, some really positive responses that I very much appreciate. I need to change the way I think although I will say I am not a "why me?" type of person. I ask myself questions and those around me all the time. Drives my husband around the twist.

I know why I drink having gone through neglect and psychological and sexual abuse throughout my childhood and early adult life. I just get angry with myself for not having the strength to get it all behind me. I know alcohol doesn't make things any better, in fact it makes things worse because it increases the symptoms of my anxiety and depression. But I will get through this, maybe not as quickly as I hoped.
Thanks for listening.

Soberwolf

Anytime Pastcaring

dwtbd

Alcohol makes not one thing better, so by definition it makes every thing worse.

I am sorry to hear about your past and the things you may need to do to help yourself heal from them. But drinking , obviously, will not be a help. Addiction will tell us that it will or may or at the very least help to endure until we heal, but its a lie. Drinking just puts everything on hold and then can take on a life of its own(actually it steals the time and life from us). Concentrate on breaking the cycle of believing the lies of addiction, take back your time and use it to health, release the hold button. Once you can do that ( and you can) you will see how small a thing alcohol is , how little(zero) time and life it can sap from a nondrinker.
wish you well

thomas11

Hi pastcaring, I just get angry with myself for not having the strength to get it all behind me.
This sentence struck a chord with me, you do have the strength. You mentioned you survived some pretty terrible things in your childhood and early adult life. That would lead me to believe there is a very strong person in there somewhere. I wish you the very best.

Ruby2

I was struck by that comment as well. If you're here and posting and wanting answers you are showing strength. Asking for help is strength. Many people go on and never say a word to anyone and slowly die inside when three simple words could save them. "I need help".

You've gotten through some rough crap in your life. You're still here. You haven't surrendered. Keep going. You do have it in you.

Pastcaring

I have to tell you I have tears right now reading all your kind words. They make me feel so much stronger. Thank you from the bottom of my heart x

On The Road

I have to agree with doggonecarl. I treated the end of my relationship with alcohol like a death. She died and I couldn't bring her back. Went through all of the emotions (good and bad) and anxiety of that relationship -- and asked myself one question "what do I do now?" And only then did the option of sobriety make any sense.

Olive1

Hi Pastcaring,

I remember asking all of those 'why's' when I first stopped drinking. After I had some time sober, the 'why's' changed.....

Why are there not more hours in the day?
Why can't I go to bed at 7pm? (oh, thats right, I can if I want)
Why does this really good book have to end?
Why does my dog eat cat poop?

It gets better. It really does.