Have faith
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Have faith
I have at terrible fear of heights. In fact it can be classified in my mind as unreasonable. So much so that even while living on just the third floor I hold on to the rail and get a bit woozy looking over my balcony.
I had one of the most vivid dreams. The kind where I not only can recall the place but it was most vivid in the emotion it left me with when I woke. Now that I am writing it down the comfort that if gave me has stayed with me. Quite amazing really.
I was reading a book. A sort of mystery. I knew only that I had to get to a very specific location. It was vital I did and did it in short order. I was on a roof top. It was flat and had a castle like feel as I could walk in between turrets flatly. I was running from door to door and window to window searching. I said it was a dream so yes my roof top had doors and windows. But it was the overpowering sense that I was about to find a way out of this place. I was going to discover something new.
I also had someone with me who I felt as though was in an official capacity. Together we searched high and low. And then he saw it. He noticed on the floor a colored tile that did not fit with the pattern of the floor. And so he opened this type of trap door. He gasped. And said there it is!
When I looked in I could feel my heart sink. I looked down and could not understand what he seemed to see so easily. He said you are going to have to jump. What? I actually thought what's wrong with a door or a window to pass through. Jump? Really?
His authority instilled a trust that if I were to jump I will be safe and where I was supposed to be. I guess in dreams we have courage beyond ourselves. I jumped.
I started to fall fast and then slowed and felt held up. I felt calmed by something greater than me. I had a power that I had never felt. I felt loved. It was nothing less than an amazing feeling. Sureness. Hope. Satisfaction deep within. Like everything that was, just simply passed away with my faith in that jump.
How could I ignore the relationship the dream has to my life events of recent years. No stone unturned looking for the exact spot where I could escape.
Looking for the obvious as that's all I could conceive would save me. I must pass through a door or a window to find the other side. Nothing exists unless it's something I can understand.
It's when I suspended my belief in what I can't do for what I should do that I found comfort... Saftey... Joy.... And even hope.
Stop looking to stay sober by drinking. Stop acting as is life goes on unnoticed by those around me. Stop wanting for a solution in only the places I am willing to look. Look also at the inconceivable as completely possible.
As a drunk man the inconceivable was not drinking. I looked in every hole I could find for the solution. When all I had to do was jump.
I had one of the most vivid dreams. The kind where I not only can recall the place but it was most vivid in the emotion it left me with when I woke. Now that I am writing it down the comfort that if gave me has stayed with me. Quite amazing really.
I was reading a book. A sort of mystery. I knew only that I had to get to a very specific location. It was vital I did and did it in short order. I was on a roof top. It was flat and had a castle like feel as I could walk in between turrets flatly. I was running from door to door and window to window searching. I said it was a dream so yes my roof top had doors and windows. But it was the overpowering sense that I was about to find a way out of this place. I was going to discover something new.
I also had someone with me who I felt as though was in an official capacity. Together we searched high and low. And then he saw it. He noticed on the floor a colored tile that did not fit with the pattern of the floor. And so he opened this type of trap door. He gasped. And said there it is!
When I looked in I could feel my heart sink. I looked down and could not understand what he seemed to see so easily. He said you are going to have to jump. What? I actually thought what's wrong with a door or a window to pass through. Jump? Really?
His authority instilled a trust that if I were to jump I will be safe and where I was supposed to be. I guess in dreams we have courage beyond ourselves. I jumped.
I started to fall fast and then slowed and felt held up. I felt calmed by something greater than me. I had a power that I had never felt. I felt loved. It was nothing less than an amazing feeling. Sureness. Hope. Satisfaction deep within. Like everything that was, just simply passed away with my faith in that jump.
How could I ignore the relationship the dream has to my life events of recent years. No stone unturned looking for the exact spot where I could escape.
Looking for the obvious as that's all I could conceive would save me. I must pass through a door or a window to find the other side. Nothing exists unless it's something I can understand.
It's when I suspended my belief in what I can't do for what I should do that I found comfort... Saftey... Joy.... And even hope.
Stop looking to stay sober by drinking. Stop acting as is life goes on unnoticed by those around me. Stop wanting for a solution in only the places I am willing to look. Look also at the inconceivable as completely possible.
As a drunk man the inconceivable was not drinking. I looked in every hole I could find for the solution. When all I had to do was jump.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Great analogy, Ken. The Unknown often holds many of us back from quitting. That haunting question: "What's going to happen when I stop drinking?" is so scary that some of us keep hanging on to the familiar, drunken routine. It takes trust, faith, and courage to just jump and hang on. Sobriety can be a wild water-slide at first, but once you get on calm seas it's clear that it's the right decision for most!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You know I'm an ex-skydiver. I made hundreds of jumps.
I was terrified at some point on every plane ride up. Every. Time.
That feeling serves me well in times of fear in my life today.
I only rode the plane back down one time.
Every other time I jumped through my fear. Once out of the plane, there's nothing to do but have fun and remember to pull the parachute at 2000 feet.
I now have a sticky note in my kitchen - decades later, "Are you kidding me, I was afraid every single time. Just jump. Do it."
Courage. It's what defines us.
I was terrified at some point on every plane ride up. Every. Time.
That feeling serves me well in times of fear in my life today.
I only rode the plane back down one time.
Every other time I jumped through my fear. Once out of the plane, there's nothing to do but have fun and remember to pull the parachute at 2000 feet.
I now have a sticky note in my kitchen - decades later, "Are you kidding me, I was afraid every single time. Just jump. Do it."
Courage. It's what defines us.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Living and accepting the fear , embracing it .
Take a leap and life will support you .
Boredom is as boredom do . Have you ever stood in a bar to listen to how much people nearly did this or was going to do that ? I know i have … and that guff came outta my mouth too..
What steps to take to get sober ? blooming great big ones as hard and fast as you can , pain and nerves tells me i'm taking adequate risks .
no turning back , onwards
m
Take a leap and life will support you .
Boredom is as boredom do . Have you ever stood in a bar to listen to how much people nearly did this or was going to do that ? I know i have … and that guff came outta my mouth too..
What steps to take to get sober ? blooming great big ones as hard and fast as you can , pain and nerves tells me i'm taking adequate risks .
no turning back , onwards
m
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