Persys

I have a question that I have struggled with for a while: During my drinking career I used to cut myself. Not really sure why, but I did this for some time. Now I have these scars all over my upper and lower arms and as we approach summertime I wanted to ask if anyone had any advice on how to respond when people ask what they are from...

I've been sober for almost two years now but don't necessarily go around advertising that unless I am speaking with other addicts. What would you say if someone asked? Do I tell the truth?

I've never asked in a meeting because it wasn't directly related to alcohol but I really could use some help. Thank you!!

FreeOwl

I don't really know how I might handle that - but I have a couple of friends who share this circumstance.

In both of their cases, I've seen them be honest about it. Of course, it's actually kind of obvious. The nature and type of scars left behind - for them - make it difficult to conceive of another explanation.

That said, they both moved beyond that stage and worked through it with help from counselors. They're now able to talk about it freely, without shame or fear as the part of them and the part of their journey that it was.

We ALL have pieces of our past that caused us pain. We've all done and said and been things that we are not today. That is human. What you went through is incredibly (sadly) common. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Soberwolf

I have the same scars my arms are filled with them & i know what you mean you dont have to explain yourself to anyone

Ive found wearing longer sleeve tops cover them up but thats not always possible and if i am out & about & i see ppl staring i acknowledge thier staring by staring bk lol

If and it has happened to me ppl mock you or think your crazy im here to tell you your not maybe use bio oil to help reduce appearance on your arms

As for the depression speak to a Dr asap dont let it fester

If you ever want to talk im here bud

QuietToday

Cutting isn't that strange anymore. I was a cutter; my wrists are ruined with scars also.

People oddly don't ask that much. The only one's who've really noticed/asked are girls I start seeing regularly. When they do ask I don't worry; I just say I was a wrist-cutter when I was younger, that's all.
My family also know that I was a cutter because I got thrown in a suicide ward as a teen and my parents told everyone. But! If they didn't know and it was a family member that asked, I would also be honest, and just say, "I would cut myself when I was younger." And that's it; no need to expand on it. If they're curious tell them to google it because you're not interested in talking about it.

It's never been a big deal when I tell people about it though. Wrist-cutting was sort-of the "in" thing for a while, so lots of people of all different shapes and sizes have self-inflicted scars on themselves. It's not a big deal, really.

Returning2drink

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I have burn marks all over my arms from self harm, Persys. I did most of them in cool weather and am dreading Summer.

I would never tell anyone the truth about how I got them because I think it gets u labelled as a freak. (People who have their own wouldn't generally ask or stare!)

Early on, when I only had a few, I pretended I burnt myself on the oven or had infected mosquito bites that scarred. I have way too many for those lies now! Cutting looks different.... If u steered away from singlets and just wore tees, is there any lie that might explain them?

Some people get tattoos to cover them (I'm not a tattoo type), others use make up... Would sun tanning help?

I think that unless they're close friends (who may already know) it's an OVERSHARE. Maybe you could treat extra starey strangers you'll never see again to the confronting truth if u get irritated?

That's just my opinion but I'm not the type to be very open with people in real (not online) life.

R2D

Anna

I absolutely believe you do NOT have to explain or defend yourself. Please hold your head up high and be proud of what you've accomplished. In my opinion, it's rude for someone to ask such a personal question and you have no obligation to respond. How dare someone make you feel 'less than' when you have worked as hard as you have to recover.

ArtFriend

First of all, I don't think people really even notice stuff like this. If they do ask, just say it's a long and involved story and I don't want to bore you. They wil make their own conclusions one way or another. You needn't explain anything to anyone.

sleepie

What Anna said !!!

Usually though, nobody asks. They haven't in years and years. How bad are they? Are the flat/raised/flesh toned?
They to tend to fade over time.

thomas11

Hi Persys, I have a question and if you are not comfortable answering I totally understand. What "relief" does cutting give someone. Why is it done? I have never understood it? 2 years sober, wow. Good on you.

PurpleKnight

Yeah I agree you don't need to explain yourself, when it comes to not drinking alcohol no one gets an answer, and I don't explain anything to do with having a problem, I simply don't drink!!

Soberwolf

i found this article DBT in the Treatment of Addiction | The Fix