SpartanGreen

So I drive a semi. Today I was going down a two lane highway through a mountain pass through a small town. Was almost dark out. A pick up truck without it's lights on swerves into traffic, swerves onto the shoulder, back into the traffic lane then tried to floor it off the next turn where it smashed into an electrical pole and fell off the cliff.

I can only assume I watched a person die. Hopefully only one.

I've been in shock since then. It made me reflect a little bit on when I was drinking very heavily and how easily I could have done something like that.

Mostly though, I don't even know how to process it really. Everyone I've talked to since then today, I've acted like nothing has happened and haven't mentioned it. I think my natural survival instinct is going to be to compartmentalize it and try to never think about it or talk about it, to pretend it never happened.

I don't even know what I'm asking here. I just wanted to tell someone about what I saw today and this seems like the safest and most anonymous place, because I feel incapable of telling anyone in my personal life about it or trying to process it, at least right now.

Dee74

I'm really sorry you experienced that, SpartanGreen.

'did I just see that' kind of things like that can take a day or two to really sink in...

I don't believe this is a 'man up and get on with it' thing - don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

D

MythOfSisyphus

I'm sorry about your experience, SpartanGreen! That's awful. I'd feel terrible, too. In a way it's good that you feel bad; it means your best human parts are still working. There's nothing you can do for the person now except to pray for them (if you're a praying person) and try to make something positive come from it. Use it as motivation.

I'll also say that it's possible no one died. Obviously I didn't see the accident but the person may have survived. Have you checked the local news?

Thinking of you, SpartanGreen.

Jeremiah2911

SpartanGreen,
I was recently diagnosed with PTSD because of a series of traumas that I experienced in a short time. I tried to believe that I could just move on and that's how I ended up with a drinking problem. Please make sure that you take care of yourself through this and make sure to talk to a trusted friend or therapist if it continues to get to you.
Praying for you...

Soberwolf

What D said

PurpleKnight

Very sorry you had to experience that SpartanGreen!!

biminiblue

I've been witness to several deaths. I was a skydiver, so that accounts for a few, then I was at the scene of a self-inflicted gunshot/suicide. Just recently, my neighbor died of an overdose - ten feet away in his condo.

It's shocking, but I somehow knew that I couldn't grab onto that horror and make it my own, you know? I had to accept that it happened and had nothing to do with me. The skydiving things were tough. The first one, the guy was on the plane with me and then two minutes later he was dead. I was 19. I had to get right back in the plane and make another jump - or I was afraid I'd be unable to jump again. I guess I was trying to distance myself from it in some way. The aftermath of those deaths was tough - they were friends I spent every weekend with - young and strong and able bodied people, taken by a twist of fate.

Verte

Hi SpartanGreen,

I along with another witnessed a man die on the highway when I was 17years old. We had to make statements with the local authorities and highway patrol. All involved were extremely helpful in putting the entire experience and process into perspective as they must also do this for themselves and as an agency. Honestly, I was in shock for quite a bit and still have a recurring figure in my dreams to this day. It was a violent experience.

Can you call the State Highway patrol or local authorities and ask for guidance? I am aware that my local area does have voluntary and occasional mandatory debriefing with counselors for EMS/fire/police personnel who experience trauma.

Maybe you could walk over to the local PD and talk with the desk clerk?

Do not stuff it. Our brains try hard to make sense of things on our own if we do not reach out. Good job reaching out!

ScottFromWI

Lots of good info here Spartan, definitely a tragic event and something you can't just "bottle up". By chance does your employer have any kind of employee assistance that you might be able to access for counseling, even if maybe just over the phone? I would have to think that as unfortunate as traffic accidents are, they do happen and truck drivers are more likely to witness them purely by the large amount of time spent on the road.

Opivotal

I can sure relate to your post, SpartanGreen.

I've witnessed similar accidents twice. I won't get into the details but I've never been able to forget them.

I think, I was in shock for quite some time. Certainly talking about what transpired helps us process, somewhat.

I'm glad you posted. Please continue to share and know you're not alone in your feelings.

Anna

Gosh, what an awful thing to witness. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Please don't think you just compartmentalize this and move on. Talking is often the best way to manage. We're here for you.

SpartanGreen

Well it was like Chriatmas morning when i saw this story: http://www.castlecountryradio.com/Accident-Closes-Poplar-Street-Exit/21641004

The guy didn't die or get seriously hurt. Apparently wasn't even drunk, just really stupid.

Dee74

I'm really glad that it didn't end in tragedy SG.
Now you can relax

D