Mountainmanbob

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Sounds so good on paper. A Step that I work the best I can everyday. So many times a day that it would be hard to keep count. Yet, this process seems to be a very slow one with many, many set backs.

At times I joke with ones stating that "Repent" should have been my middle name.

I do understand that I need help from a Higher Power (God) so as to overcome self (EGO). The true battle seems once more to be, with self.

MountainmanBob

paulokes

Bob....were entirely ready to have GOD remove these defects of character...which he seems to do in his own sweet time

Meanwhile we do the best we can...mostly that's damage control

P

Mountainmanbob

Thanks for you post, it made me smile.

For sure, God's timing has not much to do with my preferred timing.

MM

skg

And the defects that *I* think need to be removed can't be gone fast enough. Seems He's seen fit to keep them around to remind me of what I truly am in the flesh...

I've found that the more I look, the more I find, so I have to rely on His forgiveness and restoration through the blood of His Son.

And I forget THAT, too, because my SELF is so friggin' huge sometimes! And THEN it's off into self-pity, self-piety, or self-pithy...

Surrender. It's not just for breakfast anymore...

Music

Step 6 is about being "willing" to have these character defects removed. Not removing them. In Step 7 is the prayer in which I ask God to remove the defects "that He thinks" come between He and I so I can be of better service to Him. This process has nothing to do with me removing these defects. It's God who removes them but as has been said, He generally doesn't operate like that. He could if He would, remove my defects but mostly what He does is present me with the opportunity to practice exercising restraint with regard to my defects. If I become frustrated with my defects not being removed, it's because as usual I'm trying to do it my way. As with alcohol, I need to surrender to God's will and allow Him to do His work.

paulokes

For me the wording of the seventh step prayer is interesting..."My creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me - the good AND the bad"

Maybe God as I understand him knows exactly what he's doing...he's still got a use for some of those defects so I am just going to have to put up with them til they're not needed anymore

P

WMJ1012

Mountainbob
Thanks for your post. As I do 10th steps during my day (spotchecks), I find fear is the main one.
When I get angry I know there's a fear there.
I ask God for a lot of tolerance in the moment, then I quickly notice what fear has come up and say the Fear Prayer: "God, please remove my fear of _______ and turn my attention to what You would have me be.

As you said it's a journey with all kinds of bumps and hurdles etc...and a constant growth process. Our mistakes are our best opportunities to grow.

If I am giving a certain defect everything I can and it's still there, what God cares about is that I'm trying.

I ask for help - but then I have to do my part and not practice the defect if possible, or do whatever I can to take care of why I have it.

Fly N Buy

Thanks for the post - man, I am there with ya!

I can't repetitively ask God to remove my shortcoming without pondering Paul and 2 Corinthians 12 - my grace is sufficient for thee, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Not only do I have this shortcoming, but God wants me to have it...........

When I pray - Thy will be done - all other may be vanity - perhaps.


Sponsor suggested that many shortcomings never go away but we just choose not to act on them.

I really like the book drop the rock addressing steps 6&7 - the "forgotten" steps........

Thanks for the thread Mountain Man

Tommyh

my defects drive me to God and help me see the need for Him in my life.

Today,I am willing to help others,to be of service to them and God and I believe that is evidence of steps 6 and 7 working in my life

Bob,maybe they are working a little better than you realize sometimes??

Turtle82

I can only give my own experience: Step 6, for me, is about reviewing the first 5 Steps to make sure we were thorough in them. Personally, I thought I had been thorough but I was focusing only on Steps 4 and 5 and what I deemed objectionable revealed in them. But, this is where the fact that I had not fully taken Step 3 should have been caught but wasn't so though I thought I was willing to have God remove all these things and give myself totally over to His care, I really wasn't because I had not sincerely taken Step 3. I had to back up and do that one again. (Incidentally, it took getting on my knees to do it.)

Once I did that, a light bulb went on and I could see that Step 6 was only about my willingness to give up my will to God's. It was a deepening, for lack of a better word, of Step 3. In 3 I became willing to place myself in God's care but, now, I had to become willing to do His will which went further than just His care of me alone. Once I trusted Him completely and became willing to do that, I could then move on to Step 7 and ask Him to remove not what I deemed objectionable, which would still leave me controlling things, but what He deemed standing in the way of my usefulness to Him and His other kids. In the end, for me, Step 6 was about doing a review up to that point, getting to know myself better through that and being willing to let it all go if need be but, with Step 7, trusting God to decide what would stay and what wouldn't and trust that completely.

Later, when I would find something about myself "objectionable" my sponsor would ask: "Did you do Step 7?" I would, of course, say yes and she would say: "Then God finds it useful... just let it be." She was right. Later down the road I saw where even those things I disliked were used by Him for some purpose.

Johno1967

First time I looked at it I thought "OK, no worries....next". Over time I've realized its more involved than that.
For me Step 6 is "right motivation, thought, words and actions". It calls for a lot of self discipline. The more I think about it the more I see the genius in this step even if its the one step that many people skim over.
It says to me if one of my defects is being an "POS" to certain people I need to change that, even if it means "fake it till I make it". I need to clear away the mental obstacles and let my inner higher power come to the front. Change comes from inside out.
That's my interpretation anyway.

DayTrader

While I'm guilty of this on a daily basis it seems, the problem with character defects that remain in effect isn't so much that they're present so much as my (mis)judgment of them as being bad in the first place.

Sure, it sounds good to not have any distractions on the spiritual path. Sure, it seems like it would be a good thing to be free of all my defects. And sure, it bothers me that I continually make the same darn mistakes over and over. It SEEMS like I'd be far better off if none of that stuff happened.

On the other hand, it's the very presence of those things that leads to 100% of all my growth (I work to overcome deficiencies/problems......not to overcome things that aren't a "problem"). Additionally, it's those same "bad" things that motivate me to seek a connection with a HP after my inability to correct or solve them myself.

If all my defects were gone, given MY history, it's highly likely I'd become quite antisocial as my false ego rose along with my negative judgments of those around me who were still "victims" of defects. It's also reasonable to believe that once I become defect free I'd lose a big chunk of my motivation for my connection to and relationship with any sort of HP to solve my problems........because I wouldn't have any.

Looked at in that light, I'd be far less a person withOUT my defects.......

Seems that, once again, my opinion of what would be ideal is likely 180 degrees off course.

Mountainmanbob

Getting tired of these defects of character !!


I'm not sure of what is going on ?

8 years without a drink and right when I was starting to think that some of these character defects I would never be free of, I think that there has been a period of spiritual growth here lately.

Sometimes it seems to take forever -- does it not ?

If I (we) were drinking today,
would we be seeing any real growth in ourselves ?

I'm thinking not much -- possibly none -- maybe going backwards ?

MB

Dave42001

I can relate to this big time and deal with it every day.. There's a great book Hazelden published called Drop The Rock, it really helped me and it's a quick read.. Thanks for sharing.. You might have already seen it..

http://www.amazon.com/Drop-Rock-Remo.../dp/1592851614

Ken33xx

Imo, character defects are human emotions which will always flair up time to time. What recovery has given me is the ability to better recognize such emotions as they heat up and hopefully before saying /doing something I regret.

dox

It's been 11 years for me and this is the one part of my recovery programme that I work the most.

I am reading Drop the Rock.

It is a slow read for me.

I mentioned this in a meeting and how I am struggling, sometimes, with character flaws.

My sponsor said that I should lay them at the foot of the cross.

PAC86

I was always told that sometimes God doesn't remove our defects for a reason and sometimes they can even be beneficial if used in a positive way. Sometimes maybe certain defects can not be fixed by AA step work. For example my anxiety can not be treated by step work and I had to seek outside sources for help. Unfortunately there is some in the rooms who believe AA is a cure all and if an individual is suffering from problems they assume they are not working the steps.

PAC86

Also there is the chance that maybe you are just being overly critical of yourself. I mean what kind of defects are we talking about here and what problems have they caused you? Maybe you have placed unrealistic expectations on the program of AA. I personally don't believe that simply going through the steps will magically make someone perfect. No one is perfect. Although some in the rooms may beg to differ and accuse an imperfect individual of not working the steps.

Fly N Buy

If at all!!!

My grace is sufficient for thee..........He wants that thorn in your side at times, right?!?

uncle holmes

To me there's nothing wrong with having defects of character. It's more important to figure out where it's coming from and getting to the source of what's causing them.

If people are doing things in society that I don't agree with then I have a right to be fearful and angry. Many times it's a normal reaction.

If someone is wronging you, many times a normal reaction is to get angry. But it's more important in how I use that anger.

I think what can be torture for the alcoholic is when the incident or things still going on won't leave your head and the resentment and fear just never go away.

That's when I really have to seek God in prayer and meditation to help me with these issues. To ask that God protects me from all harm from people and things and to do God's Will.