Lesson of letting go anger/resentment with my DD
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Lesson of letting go anger/resentment with my DD
Sunday morning my oldest daughter (14) was in an awful mood – didn’t go to bed when she was supposed to and then was pretty ticked off when she had to be up to fulfill our weekly obligation at church. Not to mention she was already signed up to help alter serve.
I had the opportunity to be alone with her for a moment – and as she sat there frowning and sighing hard I figured I could either lose my temper with her (what good would that do) or take this opportunity to talk to her.
So I chose to talk to her
I did not ask for a response – just wanted her to listen for once.
I told her that she could either hang on to her bad mood or sit back and look around and be thankful for her life. I told her I wish my mother would have taken the time to explain this to me. I explained to her how my mother “taught” me to hold on to anger and resentment. This was “normal” to me growing up. I explained to her she did not have to hold on to those angry feelings. Yes, experience them, but don’t hold on to them. A bad attitude can ruin your entire day. Holding on to anger can hold you back from enjoying other things in life.
She sat quietly and her face soften a little.
Gosh – I hope my words meant something to her. Better yet – I hope MY actions meant something to her. It is easy for me to lose my cool and then be very remorseful afterwards. These are the patterns from my past I am trying very hard to break!
Being a parent is hard enough but being a Codie parent – gosh – it can be exhausting!
It works if you work it doesn’t it!
Anyway – just sharing.
Thanks for reading.
I had the opportunity to be alone with her for a moment – and as she sat there frowning and sighing hard I figured I could either lose my temper with her (what good would that do) or take this opportunity to talk to her.
So I chose to talk to her
I did not ask for a response – just wanted her to listen for once.
I told her that she could either hang on to her bad mood or sit back and look around and be thankful for her life. I told her I wish my mother would have taken the time to explain this to me. I explained to her how my mother “taught” me to hold on to anger and resentment. This was “normal” to me growing up. I explained to her she did not have to hold on to those angry feelings. Yes, experience them, but don’t hold on to them. A bad attitude can ruin your entire day. Holding on to anger can hold you back from enjoying other things in life.
She sat quietly and her face soften a little.
Gosh – I hope my words meant something to her. Better yet – I hope MY actions meant something to her. It is easy for me to lose my cool and then be very remorseful afterwards. These are the patterns from my past I am trying very hard to break!
Being a parent is hard enough but being a Codie parent – gosh – it can be exhausting!
It works if you work it doesn’t it!
Anyway – just sharing.
Thanks for reading.
Last edited by knowthetriggers; 05-04-2015 at 10:31 AM. Reason: spacing
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 865
Originally Posted by happybeingme 
Wonderful! That is really healthy recovery work. Wish my mom had spoken to me that way.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Good for you!
My DD is 15, I completely understand the "sighs of misery" I call them LOL.
I try and do the same things w/her. It does absolutely no good at all to let her know I am aggravated w/her. She just sighs more! I try to step away and then talk to her, not lecture.
Sometimes this requires the patience of a saint, more than I have LOL. However, it has paid off hugely in our relationship.
Good for you! Very very proud of how you chose to handle this situation!
XXX
My DD is 15, I completely understand the "sighs of misery" I call them LOL.
I try and do the same things w/her. It does absolutely no good at all to let her know I am aggravated w/her. She just sighs more! I try to step away and then talk to her, not lecture.
Sometimes this requires the patience of a saint, more than I have LOL. However, it has paid off hugely in our relationship.
Good for you! Very very proud of how you chose to handle this situation!
XXX
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