Slowly losing my friend to drugs. How do I help him?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 2
Slowly losing my friend to drugs. How do I help him?
I've never used recreational drugs, even though I was exposed to it growing up, I always had the willpower to say no. I have a close friend that I met at work and I've now known for over 10 years. When we first met I knew he smoked weed and did drugs with his friends. Over the years, he started to hang out with me and my friends more and he sobered up and quit smoking. I slowly realized that at his core he is a really good person and we have a lot in common and we've grown to be close friends.
Recently at work he met new 'friends' that do recreational drugs, hard drugs, binge drinking, and he's changed. They've lured him back to the drug lifestyle. He's smoking cigarettes and weed everyday. On weekends he parties and takes MDMA, binge drinks and he told me he's done cocaine.
I cannot stress how opposite we are in this regard. His parents have hereditary diseases that he might increase chances of getting by using drugs. He's also skinny, has no appetite, and doesn't eat much. I've been trying my hardest to sway him away from those friends and that lifestyle but it's unbearably hard. I've let him know how I feel without being preachy, but he doesn't see a problem with what he's doing. I've introduced myself into his drug-using group and tried being a positive figure to them all and maybe pull him out but it's so hard. It's like standing against a tidal wave. How can my friendship compete with drugs that make you feel so good?
He's never seriously offered me drugs because he knows me and seems to respect my decision. I want him to live a long and happy life but it's killing me knowing what he's doing. Should I continue to hang out with his new friends to watch over him? Do I back off? How do I help him?
Recently at work he met new 'friends' that do recreational drugs, hard drugs, binge drinking, and he's changed. They've lured him back to the drug lifestyle. He's smoking cigarettes and weed everyday. On weekends he parties and takes MDMA, binge drinks and he told me he's done cocaine.
I cannot stress how opposite we are in this regard. His parents have hereditary diseases that he might increase chances of getting by using drugs. He's also skinny, has no appetite, and doesn't eat much. I've been trying my hardest to sway him away from those friends and that lifestyle but it's unbearably hard. I've let him know how I feel without being preachy, but he doesn't see a problem with what he's doing. I've introduced myself into his drug-using group and tried being a positive figure to them all and maybe pull him out but it's so hard. It's like standing against a tidal wave. How can my friendship compete with drugs that make you feel so good?
He's never seriously offered me drugs because he knows me and seems to respect my decision. I want him to live a long and happy life but it's killing me knowing what he's doing. Should I continue to hang out with his new friends to watch over him? Do I back off? How do I help him?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 2
I read a sticky post regarding a doctor's opinion on addicts and their friends and family:
"Although we may believe we are acting out of love when we are critical of others or work very hard to change them, it's always about ourselves.
Before any intervention in the life of another, we need to ask ourselves: How am I doing in my own life?"
I don't know if I fully agree with the doctor's assessment. I feel I'm doing fine in my life. I have a very loving and supportive family, a good job and friends and I'm a very positive and happy person. I guess wanting my friend to be well /drug free can be 'about myself', but I only want the best for my friend without benefit to me - If his happiness and health meant I could never talk to him again /be his friend, I would sacrifice my friendship for that.
"Although we may believe we are acting out of love when we are critical of others or work very hard to change them, it's always about ourselves.
Before any intervention in the life of another, we need to ask ourselves: How am I doing in my own life?"
I don't know if I fully agree with the doctor's assessment. I feel I'm doing fine in my life. I have a very loving and supportive family, a good job and friends and I'm a very positive and happy person. I guess wanting my friend to be well /drug free can be 'about myself', but I only want the best for my friend without benefit to me - If his happiness and health meant I could never talk to him again /be his friend, I would sacrifice my friendship for that.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 39
Hello uhublue...and welcome...I have just gone through this situation with a "best friend" that I have lost to the exciting world of drugs. It has broken my heart and spirit, but if you will read stories and posts on here you will see common factors.
There is nothing you can do to protect him or compete with drugs. My friend felt sure that if he ever felt the urge again he thought he would be strong enough to tell me and I could reign him in. That was not the case and he is back in full blown addiction and it is as if he never knew me.
I miss my friend, but this site has made me realize I dodged a huge bullet. Keep posting and don't hesitate to ask questions. Everyone is very knowledgeable, regretfully from experience. Hope your friend is ok. Hugs!
There is nothing you can do to protect him or compete with drugs. My friend felt sure that if he ever felt the urge again he thought he would be strong enough to tell me and I could reign him in. That was not the case and he is back in full blown addiction and it is as if he never knew me.
I miss my friend, but this site has made me realize I dodged a huge bullet. Keep posting and don't hesitate to ask questions. Everyone is very knowledgeable, regretfully from experience. Hope your friend is ok. Hugs!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
