LittleLeo

Posted this elsewhere and then realized I needed to post here:

Just want to look for friends, it's hard handling this all by myself. I am hoping to find some relief in the sharing. My situation is not horrible and I walked straight into it knowing his problem. I married my alcoholic husband too soon I know. I am totally supporting us too. I recently told him I would not be buying his liquor with my money anymore. He quit drinking for a few days after running out, but he found money for it somewhere today. My biggest problem is feeling bad for wanting to kick him out without a dime. It's not like I owe him anything, he lost everything right before I met him. I am feeling like a total idiot.

searching peace

Welcome little Leo. You are not an idiot and not alone. Keep reading the posts and threads and you might want to look into a local alanon group meeting. Maybe read codependent no more. You will find strength, wisdom and guidance just by reading the posts on here.

honeypig

Welcome, LittleLeo. Glad you found us here at SR. There is a lot of experience, strength and hope being shared here, and I hope you find it helpful.

I hope you can spend some time reading thru the various areas of the forum, especially this one. I'm sure you'll see yourself in many of the posts. Don't miss the stickies at the top of the page--there is a lot of concentrated wisdom there.

Having some form of face-to-face recovery program can be useful--for me, Alanon and SR was a powerful combination.

Again, glad you found SR, and I hope you keep coming back.

killerinstinct

Hi Leo,

Feel free to look through my posts so you realise that all you feel is relatively normal for what your dealing with. You'll have lots of support on here!!

KI

catlovermi

I am saying this with kindness, not judgement.

According to the law, the minute you legally married him, every asset you accumulate, including your future retirement money, he has a legal claim to. Whether he puts one red cent into them, or not.

Every debt he accumulates, with your knowledge and consent or not, you are legally tied to.

Now that you are legally married to him, if he drinks and drives and causes damage or death, the injured party can sue YOU for YOUR assets, because he is legally tied to them.

If you have any children with him, he has rights to custody/visitation and child support, even if he is blasted drunk, unemployed, and contributes nothing toward them.

Every day that goes by, these situations accumulate.

Every decision that you don't make, is also a decision, by default, about your future security.

So, actually, by being married to him legally, you DO owe him, a WHOLE lot, by law.

Please love yourself enough to secure yourself a healthy future.

CLMI

Duckygirl1

Welcome and ((((hugs))))
You are by no means an idiot. If you were like so many of us, you thought that the power of love could overcome anything. You envisioned a bright future and believed his promises that he would stop. But he can't. The disease will protect itself with or without you. Well done not giving the money though! That's actually setting a huge boundary and not easy to do by any means.

As all have said, read everything that you can here, keep posting, vent, cry, scream if you have to! We've heard it and most likely lived it. You are among friends!