Jdvivre

Hi all,

Yesterday was my 5 month sober mark. As I've mentioned a few times since joining, I've only recently learned that recovery is more than staying sober and that I have a lot of work to do.

This means getting my depressed ass out of bed, to get on a 40 minute bus ride to the train station, on an hour bus ride to another city to attend my first ever AA meeting.

I'm pretty good with the internet and research in general - but there is so much information around. This isn't something I feel like I can do alone. A part of me is wrecked with anxiety, another part is sort of excited that I might find a contact since I lost all my friends in this change.

Big sigh.

Looking to the sun for courage - it's a beautiful day here and I want my life to involve more than fear, I want to flourish and I know I need to work for it.

Anyway - I just thought I'd get that off my chest. No one in my life knows about this...and that, I find, is really sad.

Thanks SR, abstract concept, group of total strangers who are experiencing the same things. Even if it were to turn out that none of you were real...I still feel like I've got something like a safe place here.

Hope everyone else is doing well. If not, if you can - get some vitamin d...maybe, just maybe...it'll bring a little reprieve (it's at least worth a shot, no?)

Wish me luck.

Jdvivre
xxx

Dee74

Hope all goes well jdvivre

D

Thepatman

I AM very much real and sober. So are you.

Rooting for you! Put in a lot, you will get a lot out.

awuh1

I think you'll find some like minded folks at that AA meeting. Make sure you ask around about other meetings which might be closer. Let folks there know you are new. Let us know how it goes. I'm just an artificial intelligence program but I enjoy hearing about 1st meeting experiences from you humans.

Jdvivre

Called it!

Thanks guys. Will let you know how it goes.

Kevin78

Well done on taking that step Jdvivre. I hope you get a lot out of the meeting. It worked for me.

FreeOwl

I am also real, also sober, and also use AA as part of my recovery.

I'm not an AA addict, I don't go every day, I don't even go every week lately... but I go regularly and I read my Big Book and I do some service work and I'm working the steps and I have a couple of sponsors and people I can call. I have a Home Group that really has come to feel like Home and I have a place I can reliably go to recharge my sobriety batteries in person, face to face, with real people I can look in the eye and who I know care.

SR has become a surrogate for that - yet as powerful as this place is, there is still a tremendous value to hearing the tenor of people's voices and laughing with them and feeling moved by them.... being there when the beaten newcomer shows up.... feeling the intensity of the one who has returned from a relapse.... being there for others... giving a hug and a medallion... holding hands in a circle.

We humans need human community - perhaps none moreso than those of us who have known the isolation of addiction.

Congratulations on 5 months and on taking this step.

Berrybean

How did you get on at the meeting??

PurpleKnight

Hope it all went well Kevin!!

Soberwolf

Congrats & good luck

Fly N Buy

Yes!


My lying, manipulative, non caring ways reached to much greater depths than simply removing alcohol from the equation and life would be grand!

I have found in the rooms of AA a program that helps us clean house, change our behaviors/thoughts and discover a solution for our common problem. It is indeed much more than just life sans booze......

Keep coming back!

Grungehead

I'm actually a virtual drunk...I was drunk virtually all the time.

Wishing you luck Jdvivre!

After getting the date for my first heart surgery I was a basket case. While it wasn't a pleasant experience I can honestly say that the fear and anticipation was by far the worst part of the whole ordeal. I think most people find that once they summon up the courage to walk through the doors for the first time they will find that their initial fear and anticipation of what might happen will turn to relief by the end of the meeting. That's how it was for me anyway. I was shaking as I walked inside and by the end of the meeting I knew I had found a group of people that "get me".

Jdvivre

Blegh. I went all the way to the next city (2hrs away, it turns out) - wrong directions on the site, ended up finding it eventually but was so worked up, in tears, just sat outside until I ran out of cigarettes. Eventually texted the POC and he told me there's one tomorrow morning in my city. So, that saved me from feeling like a complete failure. Sigh. That was awful. Awful awful awful.

Tomorrow is another day.

IOAA2

Hi and good for you for following through and going. Many new things for us is scary the first time and then we regret our procrastrations.
I suggest for newcomers to call an available AA office for times and directions to a meeting and perhaps meeting someone to go with.
One of AAs purposes is to help another alcoholic with sobriety.

BE WELL

newpage119

Hey at least you tried.....that is a great start! Feel proud that you took the first step....
Tomorrow is another day, and it HAS to be better! Good luck!

Berrybean

Aww - it's so hard to walk in if you arrive at a new meeting late isn't it. I remember getting lost on the way to one I'd driven to for the first time and praying to my higher power that 'someone will be there to help me get through the door because I'm not strong enough to do that alone'. Someone heard me arrive and came out to bring me in, or I'd have sat there as well. *Hug*.
Tomorrow's a new day. You're on my list to pray for you to find it no hitches. xx

Aellyce

One of my past online friends insisted for a while that he was pretty sure I were a supercomputer from Google or something like that. I'm not surprised... I was drunk almost all the time when I communicated with him, must not have felt very human.

I had this phase for a while regarding SR, when I got annoyed that we were having all these super personal and often intense interactions and technically, it goes via looking at and touching a machine. I'm over that phase now, more or less, but only because I've found some unmistakably human supplementation around me also. Still quite married to the virtual reality though.

Glad you did not get discouraged about the meeting, Jdvivre, and congrats on the 5 months

Leshar

Hello Jdvivre,

I'm sorry you had to go through that upheaval, but so well done on your courage to take this step. I hope it goes better for you tomorrow.
I've been going to AA meetings, I'm keeping an open mind as they say.
Recovery is a hard thing to embrace, you're right, it's about so much more than just stopping drinking.
Best to you and congratulations again on five months!

Gilmer

I'm really sorry that all that traveling turned out for naught, Jdvivre. There's nothing scarier than being completely lost when you're far away from home. I hope the morning meeting is good and doable for you.

least

I hope the meeting in your city turns out well for you after the disappointment of the other one.

And remember, you've got us here any time of day or night.

And congrats on five months sober!