mnh1982

Hey guys, my AH has been off his Suboxone for over a month now. Obviously, initially, he had all the classic symptoms of withdrawal, but also, of course, those subsided over time.

He disappeared on Monday night to "go get a phone card". Apparently "getting a phone card" took until 5am Tuesday. His excuse? He "fell asleep in the car, in our driveway, listening to the radio."

Yeah. Right.

On Tuesday, he stayed at home with our 5mo old all day, then fell asleep early & therefore didn't go anywhere that night. On Wednesday morning, he woke up & told me he had been throwing up/sick to his stomach all night & "didn't feel well".

And, of course, when I told him it sounded like he had gone back to using & didn't get the chance to on Tuesday night, & was in withdrawal again, he stonewalled & kept saying that wasn't true. His excuse is that he "just gets sick easily".

I don't for a second buy it, but was curious if anyone has experienced a flare-up or relapse of withdrawal symptoms after going off meds, even if the initial withdrawal period should be over?

I don't know why I'm even trying to give him any benefit of the doubt, to be honest with you...

zoso77

mnh...

I suspect he has picked up again. I'm sorry to have to say that. Disappearing until 5 AM does not give me the warm 'n fuzzies. Nor does his subsequent behavior.

mnh1982

Hey, Zo.
Nope. I think you're absolutely right, especially given that this is not the first disappearance & insane story to explain the absence.
These are actually kind of funny in a terribly depressing way. He's gone AWOL at least 5 or 6 times over the last few weeks, coinciding with his supposed return to AA. Here are just a couple of the spectacularly-bad excuses for not returning home until after 3 am:

1. I took your car to get a part for my car, & I almost hit a moose, & I went in the ditch, but then I didn't have reception & I had to walk up & down the road for hours trying to find a signal.

2. This guy I know needed help loading a moving van but then he backed the van into his house & needed help repairing it.

3. I lost my phone at said "guy I know's" house & I went to go get it & it was all the way under the house by a water main. (WHAT?)

4. My car broke down at *insert x distant location* & I had to get someone to tow me back here.

Riiighhhhttt.

auroraxborealis

Hello, fellow Alaskan! I didn't realize until I saw the part about the moose!

Sorry you're going through this.

allmirages

mnh - based on what you described, it does sound as though he is using. I remember all the crazy stories my x came up with...near the end when he lied daily, they were so ridiculous that I would just tell him to stop and not say another word. He was always helping "such n such" move this or that. I told him he might as well go into the moving business since he just so happened to have so many friends in need with moving stuff. Then there were the lies about fixing cars/trucks, etc.

Oh, and my x told me your #3 almost to a T. He "lost" his phone at a house they were rehabbing. Looked for HOURS and finally found it below the front porch. Had to wiggle underneath the porch, could barely get it but he did. Riiiigghhht....yea, that took about 4 hours. Such craziness!!!

I bet if we all took a moment to write the crazy lies we are told by our addicts that we could publish a book and make some money on it!!

Hang in there! We are here for you! Sending you hugs and strength.

maia1234

Hate to say, but who cares what his excuses are. He is not being a good husband or father, he's an addict. You don't need someone else to back you for what you know in your heart. (they make you feel like you are crazy, part of the their/our disease)

Work your program, hit meetings, educate yourself. You deserve respect and dignity and he can not possibly give that to you know. Stop listening to his BS and work your program. Get strong enough to do what is best for you and your child!!

Tough love, Sorry!!

mnh1982

No, it's all good. I guess Im mostly using these forums as a way to "think out loud", basically.

There is always going to be another excuse with him. Or another "mistake". Or more sneakiness, lies, & covert BS going on.

I don't believe for a second that anything will "snap him out of it" or make him realise what he's losing, anymore. He's chosen over & over again to put himself first & now it's up to me to man the **** up & do the same.

Thanks for the support, guys.

hopeful4

These forums are great support, and a great way to keep your head in reality. I know for myself, when things got bad with my X, I would keep pushing that line back of what is acceptable or not. And denial is a powerful thing, so these fine folks here at SR have a way of keeping reality in front of your face, which is a really good thing.

Many hugs! XXX

atalose

The first time is a mistake - the second time is a ----decision. Sounds like he's picked up again. More will be revealed.

mnh1982

Guys, HAHAHAHAHA!
I'm really sorry. I shouldn't be actually laughing at this but...

Husband claims that his "illness", after being out until 5am Tuesday, was because...

"he ate a can of salmon on Monday that he found in the back of my car & it gave him food poisoning..."

...that didn't flare up until Wednesday morning?

I can't even.

KeepinItReal

mnh - I honestly can laugh with you on that!! We should start a thread of lies addicts come up with and all get rights on publishing!! HAHA.

I'm sure we are not the only one's being lied to like we are fools.

hopeful4

Oh wow, that should go on the quackers thread!!!! Nice try!

He has picked up again, and has a huge problem with the truth!

XXX

mnh1982

Wait is that a thing?????? I will totally put it there!!

hopeful4

It is, let me see if I can find it!

hopeful4

Go over to the F&F of Alcoholics forum, I just bumped it to the top. People put addiction quackers on that thread, read them. Some are hilarious, most are pathetic!