Hard Times in my brain...
SoberCenobite
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Westfield PA
Posts: 13
Hard Times in my brain...
Today i struggle with the fact that even with a bit of recovery mylack of trust in my strength is judged on my inability during addiction. My mom worries about triggering me by not telling me about the degrading issues with my father who has alzheimers. She thinks im not yet able to handle big deals but i struggle with this because im trying to practice life on lifes terms... My brain tells me that i need to be trusted but havent given anyone the reason too in recovery so i know i dont deserve the trust yet but it be nice to be trusted. Either way im sober and not going to use over it.
Eric- I think your mom is coming from a good place. She so badly wants to see you succeed, she doesn't want to do anything the jeopardizes your sobriety since some of these issues are hard to deal with. It does suck to feel people can't be completely honest with you. It will just take those you love some time to realize how strong you are and have become. Awesome job on not letting this derail your sobriety!
Are you sure you aren't just making some assumptions? How do you know why your mother is or isn't telling you things? Did she sit down with you and say, "Your father is getting worse, but I'm not going to tell you about it because it might jeopardize your sobriety?"
Have a talk with her. See what you can do to help. Seems like her hands are pretty full at the moment. Being of service to others can be a great benefit to sobriety. Open up the communication and see what happens.
Have a talk with her. See what you can do to help. Seems like her hands are pretty full at the moment. Being of service to others can be a great benefit to sobriety. Open up the communication and see what happens.
I also think your mom is coming from a good place, not wanting to add stress to you. Heck in my family people keep stuff from each other even when there isn't a drinking (or former drinking) issue.
SoberCenobite
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Westfield PA
Posts: 13
Rough Days
My mom finally came to me and accepted that im not going to run out and do dope just cause a little **** with someone in the family... Im far from being in a place to shoulder a burden but she is being honest with me... Ofcourse on top of that my computer crashes my phone is off for 5 days and life continues to be hard, thanks for the kind words and i continue to try to expand my social circle. Hard as it is with out a connection to the outside world for the time being i continue to do meetings and maintain a healthy recovery positive outlook... lonely as i am my outlook is very good for the way my mind feels. Hopefully my limbo of out of touch connection is only temporary but well see... As hard as life is though its 1000x easier then active addiction and that is the truth!
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