relapse prevention at 4+ months
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
relapse prevention at 4+ months
I am at 3 and a half months sobriety. However, I've noticed a lot of friends have been relapsing a little after 4 months, which has me worried since I consider them to be strong individuals. Were there particular signs that you noticed prior to relapsing? Was there anything you felt that would have helped you avoid the relapse?
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Some ppl use HALT
Watching out for your AV, writing in a journal helps with this Stratergy as its great for reflection
Congrats on 3 & a half months thats amazing
If you ever dont feel right for whatever reason i believe it can be helped by talking to ppl who completly understand
were in your corner and here for you 24/7 Stratergy
Watching out for your AV, writing in a journal helps with this Stratergy as its great for reflection
Congrats on 3 & a half months thats amazing
If you ever dont feel right for whatever reason i believe it can be helped by talking to ppl who completly understand
were in your corner and here for you 24/7 Stratergy
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,036
When I got the idea to start drinking again, I should have recognized that the support I was using -- SR & AA at the time -- wasn't enough, and asked someone for suggestions for more support, and listened. Instead I dwelled in the idea and let it become a plan. And once it was a plan, it came to seem inevitable. Relapse is not inevitable, but untreated it can seem that way.
I think at 4 months the physical cravings should be over, so if you're thinking a lot about drinking again, you should consider it a problem in your recovery plan and not rely merely on "this too shall pass."
I think at 4 months the physical cravings should be over, so if you're thinking a lot about drinking again, you should consider it a problem in your recovery plan and not rely merely on "this too shall pass."
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I just read your response on KAfkaesque's thread. For me, that sums up perfectly how I dealt with cravings at 3/4 months plus when they arose. and the will. But you sound like you have good coping skills in place to deal with them. Congrats on 3 1/2 months 
learning to live
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,665
Hey sweet strat -
Yes, there were particular things I noticed before I relapsed.
I was feeling really sorry for myself and lost my positive attitude. I started to be very negative and question why I was even doing this sober thing. I asked myself if it was worth it when life still sucked. In reality my life did not suck my mindset did.
I knew I didnt want to go back to daily drinking.....but I ended up back there eventually of course..... I (at the time) thought I could just go get smashed one night then turn it around the next. I should have known things were not going to be a bit different this time as time proved that time and time again. Now looking back that was the addiction quacking at me. I could have read back in my journals to see this. I could have read my old threads here to avoid this. I could have asked for help.
I think if I would have revamped my recovery plan I could have avoided a relapse. Like maybe started a meeting group or ANYTHING to avoid drinking and get past the "down time". That's all I needed was time and ACTION on my part to build a better mind set!
I am also realizing that I need to constantly be reminded of my problem...not like every second but to keep in mind by reading here, reading books etc
Oh, and I was secluding I realize to avoid relapse I need to surround myself with people that understand and avoid becoming lonely. I need to reach out for help too!
Still not exactly sure how to do that when the AV pops up. But I wont quit trying to figure it out. I learned a valuable lesson yet again and pray it sticks this time. I wont stop putting in strong effort to remain sober and recover.
You're doing so great and I am so proud of you. You are becoming such a beautiful flower and the best is yet to come with you. I just know it. I cant wait to grow with you. Stay strong sweety. I need you sane, sober, growing and happy JUST like I NEED myself. We can do this together.
Yes, there were particular things I noticed before I relapsed.
I was feeling really sorry for myself and lost my positive attitude. I started to be very negative and question why I was even doing this sober thing. I asked myself if it was worth it when life still sucked. In reality my life did not suck my mindset did.
I knew I didnt want to go back to daily drinking.....but I ended up back there eventually of course..... I (at the time) thought I could just go get smashed one night then turn it around the next. I should have known things were not going to be a bit different this time as time proved that time and time again. Now looking back that was the addiction quacking at me. I could have read back in my journals to see this. I could have read my old threads here to avoid this. I could have asked for help.
I think if I would have revamped my recovery plan I could have avoided a relapse. Like maybe started a meeting group or ANYTHING to avoid drinking and get past the "down time". That's all I needed was time and ACTION on my part to build a better mind set!
I am also realizing that I need to constantly be reminded of my problem...not like every second but to keep in mind by reading here, reading books etc
Oh, and I was secluding I realize to avoid relapse I need to surround myself with people that understand and avoid becoming lonely. I need to reach out for help too!
Still not exactly sure how to do that when the AV pops up. But I wont quit trying to figure it out. I learned a valuable lesson yet again and pray it sticks this time. I wont stop putting in strong effort to remain sober and recover.
You're doing so great and I am so proud of you. You are becoming such a beautiful flower and the best is yet to come with you. I just know it. I cant wait to grow with you. Stay strong sweety. I need you sane, sober, growing and happy JUST like I NEED myself. We can do this together.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Ga
Posts: 1,511
I relapsed after my first time stopping alcohol at 89 days. I knew there would be wine at thanksgiving and I didn't make a good plan on how to handle it. I let my AV take control and had some. I think if I would have made a plan and posted first I would have been ok.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Did you have other maladaptive thought patterns and behaviors associated with your active alcoholism? Other obsessions, excessive tendencies? If so, those would be good to watch out for. I have not had a relapse in ~13 months, but I feel I've become quite good at recognizing maladaptive thought patterns and behaviors before they develop into something full-blown and might potentially lead to making plans to get back into my old ways. The challenge with these is that a lot of these emotional patterns tend to be unconscious, so it's not always easy to become aware of them before then manifest as part of a behavioral framework. What's been helping me a lot, I feel, is that I've done a lot of introspective type work before in my life to develop self-awareness... and I still do this all the time. Maybe talk to your friends about what led them to relapse... there are also lots of great discussions here on such thought patterns and how they work, in relation to AVRT, for example. But I would say purely recognizing and ignoring these is not the best practice... much better to do something different and try to get to the bottom of what's causing the thoughts, in my view.
Really good that you are thinking about this, strategery! Now try to find an active way of resolving it, preventing the trouble long before it gets dangerous.
Really good that you are thinking about this, strategery! Now try to find an active way of resolving it, preventing the trouble long before it gets dangerous.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi and congratulations with your sober time.
Drinking again can rear it’s ugly head at any time depending how healthy we are mentally and emotionally.
Long term sobriety is not an automatic extension of getting sober because it’s the action part of staying sober by working and changing the person who drank.
Each person is unique as to what needs to be done for the long term. Some of us drank because of anger issues, loneliness, various insecurities, social issues and on and on. These take time to address but are certainly repairable.
BE WELL
Drinking again can rear it’s ugly head at any time depending how healthy we are mentally and emotionally.
Long term sobriety is not an automatic extension of getting sober because it’s the action part of staying sober by working and changing the person who drank.
Each person is unique as to what needs to be done for the long term. Some of us drank because of anger issues, loneliness, various insecurities, social issues and on and on. These take time to address but are certainly repairable.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,870
Strat, I came the closest to caving at 4.5 months. I remember that I was feeling 'better' but still lethargic and very foggy-brained. I remember wondering if that was as good as it was going to get. It was dangerous thinking.
I am so thankful that I didn't cave; the six month mark was the beginning point of the true 'physical' change that was to occur; it was when the lethargy and foggy-brain began to lift, although it was still a gradual process. I remember thinking, at the one year point, that I felt pretty good but, even then after so much drinking, I had forgotten what 'really good' felt like; what I couldn't see, even at a year, that it was going to get so much better - physically, emotionally and spiritually - in the time to come.
Are to able to commit to do a little more for your sobriety - read up some more alcoholism, do some volunteering (man, what a way to change perspective!!!!), just add a little something positive to your day?
I am so thankful that I didn't cave; the six month mark was the beginning point of the true 'physical' change that was to occur; it was when the lethargy and foggy-brain began to lift, although it was still a gradual process. I remember thinking, at the one year point, that I felt pretty good but, even then after so much drinking, I had forgotten what 'really good' felt like; what I couldn't see, even at a year, that it was going to get so much better - physically, emotionally and spiritually - in the time to come.
Are to able to commit to do a little more for your sobriety - read up some more alcoholism, do some volunteering (man, what a way to change perspective!!!!), just add a little something positive to your day?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Thank you all so much for all your responses. I really greatly appreciate them!
Soberwolf-I am also using HALT. If I am having a bad day with cravings, will give myself a treat since it really helps. I really appreciate your response and knowing that SR is here to help me when I am struggling.
Courage-it is definitely true that if we're looking for a reason to drink, we're going to drink no matter what resources we have at our disposal. There have been some days that have been hard even with 3+ months of sobriety, but they come and go. However, I still remember when I was first on here and had just gotten past the cravings in my sobriety and decided to go out drinking since I thought I could start all over with no issue since I was "past those cravings". Having to battle through another two weeks of intense cravings was not worth the one night. I will definitely keep an eye on my recovery plan and feelings about drinking. Thank you!!
Haennie-I greatly appreciate all your feedback. Thank you! I definitely have a tendency for being extreme. It's a strength as well as a weakness. However, I think my saving grace has been recognizing maladaptive thought patterns and triggers. There are some places I just won't allow myself to go any more in terms of thinking, but I have to watch my thinking very closely. There have been certain things I have grown out of as I've gotten older to where that has been a blessing (used to have lots of fear and anxiety when younger). You have some very good advice in terms of talking to those that relapsed. I just want to learn from others as much as possible so I don't do the same thing. SR has been a god send for learning from others since I have learned so much from so many individuals and wouldn't be where I'm at without them.
Soberwolf-I am also using HALT. If I am having a bad day with cravings, will give myself a treat since it really helps. I really appreciate your response and knowing that SR is here to help me when I am struggling.
Courage-it is definitely true that if we're looking for a reason to drink, we're going to drink no matter what resources we have at our disposal. There have been some days that have been hard even with 3+ months of sobriety, but they come and go. However, I still remember when I was first on here and had just gotten past the cravings in my sobriety and decided to go out drinking since I thought I could start all over with no issue since I was "past those cravings". Having to battle through another two weeks of intense cravings was not worth the one night. I will definitely keep an eye on my recovery plan and feelings about drinking. Thank you!!
Haennie-I greatly appreciate all your feedback. Thank you! I definitely have a tendency for being extreme. It's a strength as well as a weakness. However, I think my saving grace has been recognizing maladaptive thought patterns and triggers. There are some places I just won't allow myself to go any more in terms of thinking, but I have to watch my thinking very closely. There have been certain things I have grown out of as I've gotten older to where that has been a blessing (used to have lots of fear and anxiety when younger). You have some very good advice in terms of talking to those that relapsed. I just want to learn from others as much as possible so I don't do the same thing. SR has been a god send for learning from others since I have learned so much from so many individuals and wouldn't be where I'm at without them.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 5,785
Growpath-you're such a sweetheart and thank you so much for sharing! Let's definitely do this together! 
I can definitely relate to wanting to seclude. There have been times where I've thought about doing it, but won't allow myself to since that starts getting into dangerous territory. Have you thought about joining the gratitude thread? Puts me in a better frame of mind in the morning and the evening.
Soberleigh-I can really strongly relate with what you said in terms of wondering whether things are as good as they're going to get. I really thank you for your story since it is something I really needed to hear. There was one day I posted a thread about struggling and was right in the same territory with that kind of thinking. Some days I feel more off with not drinking than when I drank, but I also know that the long-term consequences of continuing are far, far worse. I have been trying to focus on being grateful for what I have right now. When I think about what I was going through in month 1, I am very grateful to be beyond that. I will look more into volunteering, reading more about alcoholism and doing more positive things. Bim had mentioned doing the gratitude thread, which is something that has really helped change my perspective.
Alynn-thank you! I have been trying to keep myself out of those situations where it's high stress and alcohol is around.
IOA22-you're definitely right on being sober not being an extension. Thank you! Some days I feel I am rusty with some tools since I don't have to deal with intense cravings as much as I used to. I am actively trying to work on changing myself and my thinking, which is hard, but it's a process.
Readyatlast-Thank you so much for responding. Your response was very encouraging and means a lot since it makes me feel like I can handle the issues that crop up.
I can definitely relate to wanting to seclude. There have been times where I've thought about doing it, but won't allow myself to since that starts getting into dangerous territory. Have you thought about joining the gratitude thread? Puts me in a better frame of mind in the morning and the evening.Soberleigh-I can really strongly relate with what you said in terms of wondering whether things are as good as they're going to get. I really thank you for your story since it is something I really needed to hear. There was one day I posted a thread about struggling and was right in the same territory with that kind of thinking. Some days I feel more off with not drinking than when I drank, but I also know that the long-term consequences of continuing are far, far worse. I have been trying to focus on being grateful for what I have right now. When I think about what I was going through in month 1, I am very grateful to be beyond that. I will look more into volunteering, reading more about alcoholism and doing more positive things. Bim had mentioned doing the gratitude thread, which is something that has really helped change my perspective.
Alynn-thank you! I have been trying to keep myself out of those situations where it's high stress and alcohol is around.
IOA22-you're definitely right on being sober not being an extension. Thank you! Some days I feel I am rusty with some tools since I don't have to deal with intense cravings as much as I used to. I am actively trying to work on changing myself and my thinking, which is hard, but it's a process.
Readyatlast-Thank you so much for responding. Your response was very encouraging and means a lot since it makes me feel like I can handle the issues that crop up.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I think complacency played a big part in all my relapses...I lost the imperative of being sober and being vigilant.
The very fact you're posting about this means you're not complacent, you're self aware and you're thinking about things - all great signs that you're going to be ok, strategery
D
The very fact you're posting about this means you're not complacent, you're self aware and you're thinking about things - all great signs that you're going to be ok, strategery
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
strategery,
maybe you'll find something useful in here, too:
http://lifering.org/wp-content/uploa...elapseCh11.pdf
maybe you'll find something useful in here, too:
http://lifering.org/wp-content/uploa...elapseCh11.pdf
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 750
I'm 3+ months in too and I think it shows strength that you are still very vigilant and considering this possibility and how to prevent it.
I found that my tendency to look to outside sources as the cause of my discontent and irratability is a good indicator that I am heading down a dangerous path. Also I start catastrophizing situations i.e; "I'm going to be stuck in this horrible situation forever, whats the point of staying sober?", whatever the situation may be. I haven't let myself indulge in any of these thoughts so far and am on alert for them.
Great post thanks!
I found that my tendency to look to outside sources as the cause of my discontent and irratability is a good indicator that I am heading down a dangerous path. Also I start catastrophizing situations i.e; "I'm going to be stuck in this horrible situation forever, whats the point of staying sober?", whatever the situation may be. I haven't let myself indulge in any of these thoughts so far and am on alert for them.
Great post thanks!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Dee mentioned complacency. My close call:
It was longer on- about two or three years. My sponsor told me one day I was on a pre meditated drunk, which I said he was full of crap.
About two or so months later I found myself having a not too good day. After a day of work around the house and yard, I said screw it and was going to get a twelve pack.
The only thing that saved me was takin a shower before heading to the store. It was in the shower that it hit me how insane the idea of drinking was and that I had been working on that thought for quite a long time. All due to complacency. I fell back into old thinking and actions and didn't do anything to stop it.
I personally believe relapse ends with a drink. And I'm very greatful God kiked me in the arse in the shower that day and I got out of the relapse and back into the solution.
It was longer on- about two or three years. My sponsor told me one day I was on a pre meditated drunk, which I said he was full of crap.
About two or so months later I found myself having a not too good day. After a day of work around the house and yard, I said screw it and was going to get a twelve pack.
The only thing that saved me was takin a shower before heading to the store. It was in the shower that it hit me how insane the idea of drinking was and that I had been working on that thought for quite a long time. All due to complacency. I fell back into old thinking and actions and didn't do anything to stop it.
I personally believe relapse ends with a drink. And I'm very greatful God kiked me in the arse in the shower that day and I got out of the relapse and back into the solution.
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