Warning to newcomers
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Perth WA
Posts: 1
Warning to newcomers
Hi everyone,
This is my first post. Im a 36 year old female and I have been trying to get sober for 18 months now.
Please take alcoholism seriously - I wish I had at the beginning - and didnt live in denial for so long.
I went from flying very high with an amazing job, two houses, wonderful friends/family a killer figure and the world at my feet.
In a relatively short period of time things went downhill BADLY, it only took a few traumatic life events happening at the same time for me to seek comfort from the bottle - which soon led to chronic alcoholism.
Since May 2013 slowly but surely I have lost all of the wonderful things listed above - the worst loss is the connection to my higher power.
Three failed rehab attempts (I only lasted 2 weeks at each) approximately 7 hospital admissions, 9 medically assisted detoxes, one suicide attempt and one seizure later - I am finally one week sober all on my own (with the help of AA).
Yes it is one day at a time but this time I am sober for keeps, its sobriety or the gutter/jail for me.
This disease is a silent, slow and painful killer and the worst thing is that it tells you that you are okay and one more little drink wont hurt you??!?!? Or it tells you that you have ruined everything in your life so you may as well drink yourself to death.
Its crazy and strips you of your confidence, intellect, creativity and life.
Im going to fight this battle from now on, no matter what comes my way. So to any newcomer who is questioning if they really are alcoholic I beg you to stop and get real help before it is too late. This disease WILL TAKE YOU OUT.
Im very grateful for this forum and looking forward to my recovery - finally!
Thank you
This is my first post. Im a 36 year old female and I have been trying to get sober for 18 months now.
Please take alcoholism seriously - I wish I had at the beginning - and didnt live in denial for so long.
I went from flying very high with an amazing job, two houses, wonderful friends/family a killer figure and the world at my feet.
In a relatively short period of time things went downhill BADLY, it only took a few traumatic life events happening at the same time for me to seek comfort from the bottle - which soon led to chronic alcoholism.
Since May 2013 slowly but surely I have lost all of the wonderful things listed above - the worst loss is the connection to my higher power.
Three failed rehab attempts (I only lasted 2 weeks at each) approximately 7 hospital admissions, 9 medically assisted detoxes, one suicide attempt and one seizure later - I am finally one week sober all on my own (with the help of AA).
Yes it is one day at a time but this time I am sober for keeps, its sobriety or the gutter/jail for me.
This disease is a silent, slow and painful killer and the worst thing is that it tells you that you are okay and one more little drink wont hurt you??!?!? Or it tells you that you have ruined everything in your life so you may as well drink yourself to death.
Its crazy and strips you of your confidence, intellect, creativity and life.
Im going to fight this battle from now on, no matter what comes my way. So to any newcomer who is questioning if they really are alcoholic I beg you to stop and get real help before it is too late. This disease WILL TAKE YOU OUT.
Im very grateful for this forum and looking forward to my recovery - finally!
Thank you
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 11
Suicide attempt? Me too, twice. I spent 4 days in the mental wing of the hospital I was born in. They took away my belt and shoe laces. Wanting to die is the scariest thing ever.
We can do this. We can beat this. We don't have to be scared anymore.
If I'm not alone in this then neither are you.
We can do this. We can beat this. We don't have to be scared anymore.
If I'm not alone in this then neither are you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 418
Hey Bella! Welcome to SR. I'm a Perthy as well although I haven't gone to AA for many months. Just doesn't suit me.
Anyway - good luck with your efforts and I hope you can stay off the **** forever!
Anyway - good luck with your efforts and I hope you can stay off the **** forever!
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
...you are okay and one more little drink wont hurt you??!?!?
Which eventually led to ---
...you have ruined everything in your life so you may as well drink yourself to death.
My AV always lied to me and told me one little drink won't hurt -- look how good you're doing now -- you weren't an alcoholic after all -- you were just going through a rough patch -- you can control it now. After losing everything by falling for this lie my AV told me you might as well drink into oblivion now because things are hopeless. It's aim all along was to kill me.
My only hope was to find a way to kill the AV before it killed me! For me the answer was through the 12 steps of AA. By the time I finished them the obsession to drink had been removed -- no obsession = no AV living in my head. IMHO regardless of what method of recovery you choose, until the obsession to drink is removed sobriety will always be tenuous at best.
Welcome to the forum belladrake11 and thanks for sharing your story, I'm sure it will benefit others who read it. Stick around -- SR has been a big part of my recovery and is available 24/7.
The Long and Winding Road....
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Brisbane QLD
Posts: 897
Welcome Bella
I understand how you feel. Im an alcoholic addict
Yes the disease isnt happy til it strips you of everything
Time to surrender and take bake whats yours
We will walk together
V
I understand how you feel. Im an alcoholic addict
Yes the disease isnt happy til it strips you of everything
Time to surrender and take bake whats yours
We will walk together
V
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I can relate to you Bella. Besides being a guy, everything else is similar. I lost a career in finance, lost my condo, my car, the girl, multiple trips to the ER and jail, and finally rehab. 38 now and trying to put the pieces back together. A DUI and bankruptcy has made it difficult to get a job in my field now and I am miserable, but I am a year sober. I know that I will die from alcoholism before I'm 40 if I don't stop.
Welcome to the site. You'll find some kindred spirits here that understand what you are struggling with. You can't do it alone!
Welcome to the site. You'll find some kindred spirits here that understand what you are struggling with. You can't do it alone!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Welcome, Bella, to SR. I am sorry to hear that things have been so difficult for you.
Alcoholism is brutal and so capable of quickly and easily permeating and destroying our lives, hearts, minds, bodies and souls.
Congratulations on one week of sobriety.
glad you found SR.
Alcoholism is brutal and so capable of quickly and easily permeating and destroying our lives, hearts, minds, bodies and souls.
Congratulations on one week of sobriety.
glad you found SR.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Congratulations and thank you for your eye opening post for all of us.
Far too many have the idea while reading a post like yours “That hasn’t/won’t happen to me.”
To those just add the word YET = You’re Eligible Too and far worse in a heartbeat.
Millions die each or worse, living a miserable life year from this disease. Powerful, baffling, cunning and insidious.
BE WELL
Far too many have the idea while reading a post like yours “That hasn’t/won’t happen to me.”
To those just add the word YET = You’re Eligible Too and far worse in a heartbeat.
Millions die each or worse, living a miserable life year from this disease. Powerful, baffling, cunning and insidious.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Bella, thank you for this. I am witnessing this in my mother's alcoholism. Although she was always a regular drinker, I don't recall ever seeing her drunk until she was in her fifties. Now, in her late sixties, she goes on a bender at least once a week. She screamed the f-bomb at her grandchildren on Christmas Eve in a drunken rage. She walks around disheveled, often with bruises and black eyes from falling. This is a woman who was at one time a dignified, beautiful, vibrant woman. She has a husband who loves her, enough money to buy anything that she could want, healthy children and grandchildren, yet she spends most of her time being a miserable drunk.
I quit drinking over 16 months ago, mostly because of my fears of turning into her. I was always a problem drinker and watching my mother, I could see the writing on the wall. I am grateful that I quit drinking at a time that I still had some semblance of control, before I had lost anything meaningful in my life. I appreciate that you share your story so candidly. When ideas of moderation come popping into my head, reminders like this and watching my mother's descent into hell, keep me sober.
I quit drinking over 16 months ago, mostly because of my fears of turning into her. I was always a problem drinker and watching my mother, I could see the writing on the wall. I am grateful that I quit drinking at a time that I still had some semblance of control, before I had lost anything meaningful in my life. I appreciate that you share your story so candidly. When ideas of moderation come popping into my head, reminders like this and watching my mother's descent into hell, keep me sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
I take your post, belladrake, extremely serious.
Even with 24yrs sobriety, yes, I continue
to take relapses or slips very serious. Why,
you ask, welp, as a good friend of mine say,
because it tells me that alcohol, drugs, addiction
is alive and well and is continueing to kick azz
big time. That, after all my yrs sober, alcohol
hasn't changed. It doesn't work. It contines to
rip into people lives, destroying everything in
its path.
Does it care? Hell No..!!!!
Rehab, listening, learning, absorbing and
applying a program of recovery in all areas
of my life has keep me alive and keeps my
nemises at bay.
As long as I don't feed my addiction or
wake up my beast, then it will remain
dormant, asleep, but forever growing
inside.
Can you imagine how huge my beast
would be if I woke it up feeding it, it's
drink of poison?
HUGE with claws and fangs ready to claw
and demolish everything in its path. Complete
destruction taking me with it.
That to me is soooooo scarry.
I think I will stay close to my recovery program
continueing to share my own ESH, experiences,
strengths and hopes of what my life was and is
like before, during and after alcohol with others,
warning them of the dangers and destruction this
silent creature has on them until a program of
recovery is used to ward it off a day at a time.
Im wearing my recovery coat of armor today.
How about you?
Even with 24yrs sobriety, yes, I continue
to take relapses or slips very serious. Why,
you ask, welp, as a good friend of mine say,
because it tells me that alcohol, drugs, addiction
is alive and well and is continueing to kick azz
big time. That, after all my yrs sober, alcohol
hasn't changed. It doesn't work. It contines to
rip into people lives, destroying everything in
its path.
Does it care? Hell No..!!!!
Rehab, listening, learning, absorbing and
applying a program of recovery in all areas
of my life has keep me alive and keeps my
nemises at bay.
As long as I don't feed my addiction or
wake up my beast, then it will remain
dormant, asleep, but forever growing
inside.
Can you imagine how huge my beast
would be if I woke it up feeding it, it's
drink of poison?
HUGE with claws and fangs ready to claw
and demolish everything in its path. Complete
destruction taking me with it.
That to me is soooooo scarry.
I think I will stay close to my recovery program
continueing to share my own ESH, experiences,
strengths and hopes of what my life was and is
like before, during and after alcohol with others,
warning them of the dangers and destruction this
silent creature has on them until a program of
recovery is used to ward it off a day at a time.
Im wearing my recovery coat of armor today.
How about you?
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